Halloween Is Fun

Is this how the local news team of KXTV in Sacramento would react to a possible REAL zombie invasion...let's hope not. HIGHlarious nonetheless.

Tastey Tuesday

Today's Tastey Tuesday comes to you from the lovely metropolis of New York City. His name is Bryan and I know what you are thinking...judging by his outdoor activities, he is not my normal type, but I don't know that that particular assumption would be correct. There is something unabashedly cute about him, and I would be willing to try things outside of my comfort zone (i.e. camping in the wilderness) if the right person came around and challenged me to do whatever that something is. He also seems very tall, and he has a nice smile and what looks like might be a goofy demeanor (swoon). Sadly, I have no idea if this man is gay or not, but he does say the likes the Teletubbies. Anyone out there know?

Um, again...why?

I am still in shock and awe as to how and why Tyra Banks' show has not been tossed in the trash like bad meat, and how on God's green earth she ever got her own show to begin with. I mean...poor Rihanna for going on her show only to have one of her songs butchered by some girl that can't even sing the words so that we can understand her. Of course, not one to let us down, Tyra (which I can respect a bitch for this) throws out one of her patented "I am SO constipated" looks of disgust as the girl finishes up.

And while we are at it, can we discuss her absolutely ridiculous interview with Lance Bass? I mean, gay is gay and it doesn't matter how you ask the question because the answer will always be "gay", and gay people do not sleep with the opposite sex.

Happy Halloween

Saw: The Musical

I didn't realize that there were people that would actually want to see a movie that basically runs parallel to Saw or Hostel...only with music. How is that not more ridiculous than scary? To make matters worse, Paris Hilton is in it. It is called REPO! The Genetic Opera. You might as well let the whole thing load, then fast forward to 1:11 and see the hot men dressed in harnasses, because that is the high point of the whole trailer...at least for me. Actually, so you don't have to wait, I will just post that picture for you as a favor. Also, for those of you that insist on watching the trailer, turn off your sound because the singing is a nightmare in itself and the screeching sounds will haunt you for literally seconds after you finish watching the trailer.

I couldn't even make myself sit through the whole trailer, because this just looks like one of the most ill-conceived things I have ever seen, and I am at a quandry as to why this didn't go straight to DVD or the nickel theatre on the South side.

I Am SO Blind

This little blind item from NY Daily News is not that hard to figure out unless you are completely inept and don't watch TV or read the tabloids. Actually, that probably makes you a much better person than I because I am the one talking about this ignunce.

Which Hollywood faux-mance is being cranked up higher as their film sinks at the box office?

Um...yeah...that is totally Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal. I swear, do the actors and movie studios really think this kind of vagina "loving" trickery is going to put one over on the general public where these two are concerned? I mean...COME ON!!!! We are not that stupid. Well, most of us aren't. This was all very suspect from the get go, even when rumors started circulating a while back. I am just at a loss for words, because while I love Reese Witherspoon, she is a "single" working mom with two kids, and if that isn't a Vuitton trunk full of baggage I don't know what is. And something tells me that Jakey doesn't really like to stick it to the kooter, but whatever, it is his life and he can live it the way he think he needs to. You know what...he has to be gay because what else would a guy do with snaggle tooth Kirsten Dunst except shop for shoes and handbags?

Yes, That Was Beautiful

I don't really know what this video is or why this woman is talking about her man being like cinnamon or why she lovedamon, but the biggest question is why does she want to bash his head into the radiator. But wait for the end and see the response from the "pageant" host, because his outfit ALONE is some hot shit. Turn your sound down because she gets really loud during the radiator part about mid way through.

I wonder if Precious won the contest? We will never know.

Tastey Tuesday

Today's Tastey Tuesday features another citizen of Sin City. Everyone, meet Avi. Avi enjoys a lot of the same things I do, such as: wine, friends, fine dining, working, travel, and many other things. You can see for yourself and read more about him if you want to. Check out Avi's Connexion profile (sadly you will probably have to be a member). His smile is quite brilliant don't you think?

Lance Bass' "View"

Lance Bass made an appearance with the ladies of The View. Lance talks about his coming out, his mom's reaction to his coming out (asking if he was going to heaven), and Whoopi let's him know that she thinks God is okay with him being gay. I am sure Elisabeth would beg to differ. Have a gander at the video...there is nothing that is super riveting in the interview, but I think it is a decent interview nonetheless.

Lance Bass on The View
Uploaded by petulant

Spencer is a Hero

Since all of California is burning, I knew it was only going to be a short time before Heidi and Spencer were going to find a way to spin some publicity out of the whole thing. Heidi and Spence's Hollywood home was near the line of fires. The couple recently spoke to Ryan Seacrest about their harrowing experience. Before I quote them, can I just say that Ryan Seacrest is really looking low rent these days with his continuing chats with this couple and being a producer for that Kim Cardashgirl's show, but I digress. Anyway, Heidi called 911 and then ran to get a water hose to put out the fire. HAHAHA, hun, a water hose isn't going to do it. That little stream of water against a wall of fire...you might was well be using a medicine dropper to kill that mess. After reading People's little blurb about them, you will totally swoon for Spencer and his heroics. He should be given a medal of honor by the City of Los Angeles and made an honorary fireman. I popped a woody when I read it, but that was more from imagining what the actual firemen looked like...not Spencer.

“It was her and I putting out the fire with the hose,” Pratt, 24, tells Seacrest. “Until the firemen got there. They were fast.” “The fire is out now,” Pratt told Seacrest Monday morning. But the situation made fiancée Montag, 21, stop and realize this wasn’t a stunt for reality TV, but rather a dose of real life. “Spencer was down there with the garden hose and I was like, oh, what have our lives come to!”

DING! DING! DING! That is the correct question Heidi...what HAS your life come to? Shameless backstabbing to get ahead, an engagement to a big douche that doesn't even rate when put next to Summer's Eve Spring Fresh Scent, turning on your besties for that same douche, and being an all around dumbass with the blank stare on your face when things don't satisfy you. Funny how it takes a murderous fire for the bitch to realize that real life ain't a bunch of lights and cameras. I can totally see her using this as a reason to declare her love for Lauren and yap about how this has given her perspective and life is too short and try to reconcile their friendship. BTW, have you bitches heard her new single? I have, and I think I prefer someone to light a screeching Roman Candle in my ear, because at least with that I know the pitch and note that is being "sung" and while I might go deaf from the Roman Candle, it would be less likely to make my ears bleed. [people]

Will People Around Me Thank Me?

You know...I saw this ad on another blog that I read and thought...wow...those look like they are totally comfy but DAMN they would stank up a room during the summer. Can you imagine wearing these during a hot Texas summer? That "fur" would get all matted down and they would wreak something fierce, and while my feet might thank me for cushioning them with luxurious synthetic wool or dog hair or whatever they are made of, the people around me would look at me with hate, fire, and brimstone in their eyes because 1) they are ugly and tacky and 2) the smell of foot is not attractive to most regular people.
Of course this is totally something those damn bitches on The Real Housewives of Orange County would wear. Lori would be the first one and then that Petunia Pig looking brunette that thinks it is normal behavior to have six houses (leaving one to each child when you die) would have at least three pair at each house.

Jennifer Lopez is a Deadbeat

Page Six is talking about how Jennifer Lopez has yet to pay the $16,000 bill for the limo services that she used during the July premiere of her Spanish-language movie "El Cantante," and apparently bitch is fighting the bill. What a damn deadbeat. I don't get these celebrities. They wipe their asses with $100 bills and then bitch and moan when they don't get stuff for free, or they fight paying the bills. If you don't want to pay for the service...don't get the service. Take a cab, walk, get a rickshaw, ride piggyback on your skeletal husband's shoulders, or some other mode of transportation that won't set you back that much money. OR, even better, how about you take the limo and let your staff take cabs. Why does Ken Paves and other hangers-on need the limo treatment? But if you do insist on allowing random people in your entourage to enjoy luxuries that they aren't paying for...then you better be ready to get the bill. Hooker is probably arguing over the bill because that raggedy movie, El Cantante, didn't even make $16,000 at the box office.[pagesix]

Music Video of the Day

September - Cry for You. Personally, I think the video is stupid, but I like the song.

I'm Bored Ya'll

Some cold weather blew in this morning and it is a dreary, windy, cool day outside and I want to go home and go to bed. I certainly do not want to stare at a computer screen and do work, nor do I want to stare at a computer screen and look for a job. I got a speeding ticket late last month and I have been avoiding paying it off and I just asked a Trooper if he could help me get rid of it...of course he said no, but he looked at the ticket and the officer said he clocked me at 52 mph in a 35 mph zone, but wrote that I was going 45. Apparently, the information provided by the officer is not accurate and I can get it thrown out. If I don't do that, I pay the fine and then defensive driving. What should I do...I would really welcome some suggestions.

The Not So News

- Vance = Vanessa Williams + Vince Vaughn...WTF? That just doesn't sound any kind of right at all. I can't imagine Wilhemina Slater dating a person like Vince Vaughn...EVER. [justjared]

- David Copperfield allegedly made his dick disappear...in a woman's kooter down in the Bahamas. Authorities raided his Las Vegas home seizing a hard drive, a digital camera, and $2 million in cash. What does seizing a man's cash have to do with rape? I mean..really...if he has that much laying around the house, just imagine what he has in the bank. PS, last time I checked were there even any laws against rape in the Bahamas...isn't it a sport down there? [celebslam]

- That Manilla folders girl is still with Nick Lachey and proclaims her love for him to US Weekly. The article goes on to say that a witness had her cracking him up, which I find hard to believe, because what exactly could someone made of cardboard possibly say that would make a person laugh? Then again, the fool married Jessica Simpson, so I guess queerer things have happened. [usmagazine]

End the Tyranny

The Tyra Banks Show is one of THE WORST displays of daytime television I have ever seen in my life...outside of Rachel Ray's annoying ass. After watching a recorded show, aptly titled "The Science of Gaydar", I have come to the conclusion that Tyra Banks' career is a fluke and not since Maury Povich's endless quest to prove that Shalaqua's baby's daddy is Terrence, no...Roderick, no...Jamal, no...Tito, no...Tyrone, no...Terrence, no...well, you get the jist, have I seen such a shameless display of human ignorance and self promotion. Even Jerry Springer seems to be a step up from Tyra's show because at least Jerry owns up to what his show really is and doesn't dress it up in a Roberto Cavalli knock off from H&M (but I do LOVE me some H&M) to make you think it is more appealing. Tyra's on-air personality does little to make me think she is the smart woman she claims to be. She constantly interrupts and throws these dumbfounded looks of shock accompanied with "I never thought of it that way" while using the most aggressively dramatic hand gestures. It is all very sensationalistic and extremely insulting. Back to the Gaydar show. Long story short, there is a Professor in California that has created a way to test people to figure out if they are homo or not. I am sure everyone has heard of the test that takes things like hair whorl, swagger, mannerisms, and speech into account when trying to determine sexuality. While all of this has merit and is very interesting, Tyra and her producers did not present it in a matter that could be taken seriously. The Doctor was accurate in determining six out of six of the guys' sexuality. Tyra loves to have the light on her, and seems to have made a hobby out of interrupting people and making jokes that require a big sign that blinks "LAUGH" to cue the audience to actually laughbecause saying "GURL" and talking like a ghetto person is only funny the first couple of times. Oprah Winfrey she is not. Sidenote: The guy James, who ended up being gay, is TOTALLY cute. Funny though, last year when we were trying out for the Price is Right, we sat next to the people in line for Tyra's show and it was like watching a freak show. All of them were all hot ghetto messes and pretty much all around terrible.

I am SO blind

From today's Page Six:

WHICH kinky fashion writer shocked guests recently when she asked her billionaire husband's pre-teen daughter - in front of company - to rehash the time the girl walked in on the couple in a compromising bedroom position?

Don't really care

WHICH dimpled Hollywood mommy is betraying her "all-natural" image? Friends say the down- home actress is becoming ad dicted to lip collagen injec tions.

Don't really care

WHICH movie studio is desperately trying to hide its latest star's homosexuality? They have made him pair up with his leading lady, whom he couldn't care less about.

Disney Studios...Zac Efron and the leading lady...Vanessa Hudgens

Music Video of the Day

Leona Lewis - Bleeding Love

Nevermind the hole

I swear...only at LA Fashion Week...

GURRRRL, take a tip from Carrie Bradshaw and walk it out...walk it out.

Life's Annoyances

I have just about HAD it with this stupid shit on Myspace. I mean...really!!!!!!!!

Someone needs to find a new hobby before I hunt them down and shove a million of these plastic things down their throat. For realz.

This Week on The Hills

Not a lot of drama seemed to go on this week. It was actually a very dull episode. Jen Bunney and Lauren buried the hatchet...sort of...and Jen told Lauren that Spencer and Heidi said that Brody spread the rumor about the alleged sex tape between Lauren and Jason. Jen then immediately ran back to Heidi to tell her that Brody told Lauren that Spencer and Heidi were the ones spreading the rumor. Heidi denied it to Jen Bunney (who I remember being much hotter when she lived in Laguna Beach...and really, would anyone be friends with her if they weren't all living in a fantasy land?) and then went home and asked Spencer about it who then told Heidi that Brody is the one that said it and how Brody is so shady for saying that Spencer was responsible. Okay...hi kettle you are black. Spencer Pratt and his douchery are about the shadiest things to hit MTV since...well, I don't know. A lot of this episode revolved around the walk-in-closet that Whitney and Lauren call an office. I swear, you would think these girls work in the stock room at the Gap as much as they fold clothes. Is there nothing else going on in the world of Teen Vogue they could do...besides gab about Lauren's dumbass friends and drama while folding this season's hottest teen trends?

Britney, I have something to tell you...

What in gay hell? Lance Bass has decided to let the world know that Britney was the first person he came out to because he "felt bad for her". How sweet of him...a pity outing at the dawn of her apocalyptic meltdown that he is, no doubt, mentioning now to get some headlines off of Britney's name. Maybe that is what made the bitch teeter totter right over the edge. I am sure she had a hard time believing it because he is so masculine. He tells GQ...

"It was the night of her first wedding, actually. I was in Vegas with her, her dancers, her manager, and my boyfriend at the time . . . Her manager had already gotten rid of [her first husband] Jason [Alexander] - they'd flown him home. Britney was upset about what she had done. I felt bad for her. I knew she was about to go through a lot of crap. I felt the need to share something. So I sat her on my bed, and I'm like, Well, I'm gay!" Spears was "surprised. I was always the Southern gentleman."

I mean...really? Is being gay that much worse than marrying some random white trash high school boyfriend from the backwoods...somehow it isn't even really on the same level. Way to help her put things in perspective Lance. It is a whole nutha level. Meanwhile, back to the present, Britney and Lance no longer speak despite their being next door neighbors, which I can only imagine she lives like four miles down the street and around the corner. Another bizarre comment he made was that he and Marc Anthony used to be bff's too. WTF is that? Why would anyone be friends with the model used to make so many high school biology class skeletons? I know that Biology money is good, but it is still creepy. I thought about comparing Marc to He-Man's Skeletor, but Skeletor had a rocking body and Marc Anthony has the opposite of a hot body...unless you are into 50 year old twink body. Like I said...creepy. [PageSix]

Tastey Tuesday

Welcome to a segment I like to call "Tastey Tuesday". This little diddy will feature a hot, cute, funny, or in some other way attractive boy from one of the gazillion social networking sites that I am a member of (i.e. Connexion, Friendster, or Myspace). No, I will probably not know 99% of the guys I feature, but I also plan on throwing some of my friends in there for sport, because I have some cute friends too.

Ryan from Myspace comes from NYC via Virginia and has transplanted himself in Las Vegas. He is a performer and just absolutely DElicious. Don't know him, wish I did. There are several slide shows on his profile that are worth looking at, and I particularly enjoy that he has his measurements on his profile. One of the best parts: he is 6'3".

An All American Family

I don't usually watch E! Actually, I don't even remember the last time I ever watched E! Now I have even more reasons to not watch E! They have come out with some dumbass show called "Keeping Up with the Kardashians", and I have no idea what it is supposed to be about. The only thing barely recognizeable is the melting flesh of what used to be a decent looking Bruce Jenner. The only thing I can gather from this summary clip is that Kim's family thinks she is a fat cow and that every single female in this family is a big slutty whore. Even the 8 year old sister Kylie who works the pole (that Kim bought her mother and stepdad) better than all but one of the 15 topless dancers I witnessed at Yellow Rose nightclub this past Saturday night.



What is our world coming to? There is another clip that shows Bruce Jenner had the good mind to rip that girl off that pole after dragon faced Robin Antin encouraged her to tryout for the next season of "The Next Pussycat Doll" on The CW. And what in the hell does a 70 year old dried up mom of 10 need a stripper pole for? Naturally this show is produced by Ryan Seacrest Productions...imagine that. Only could something like this come from the mind of Ryan Seacrest. He is such a genius. I wish Kathy Griffin would beat his ass bloody.

Oh...hello

That is Super

My friend John posted this video to my Myspace last week and I have to say it is one of the funniest things I have ever seen. I then, in turn, posted it to two more profiles with hilarious results. Here we have Superman and Tranny Wonder Woman doing a jig. First of all, before you watch this, prepare yourself for Wonder Woman's entrance...it is very unexpected, and second, prepare yourself for her exit, because she can't even walk off the damn stage after all is said and done. I know it is a long video, but trust me...totally fierce and worth it.

Music of The Day

Celine Dion - That's The Way It Is

Left VS Right

Are you Left Brain or Right Brain? Click this link that will take you to an opitcal illusion that tells you. Kind of interesting. I am Right Brain.

Music Video of the Day

Stefy - Orange County

What I am Thankful For

Today I would like to say how thankful I am for my cousin Tiffany. She is crazy fun, and it does not matter how long it is between talks because we can always pick up where we left off like no time has passed. I also share a million fabulous memories with her from our childhood. So many things come to mind, but the 1976 Ford LTD and Flash Beagle are the most vivid in my mind. Love you Tiff!

Love Your Bot

I hope this hooker is getting some bank for having her picture connected to a gazillion fake profiles on Myspace. I swear to Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior that "she" has tried to add me as a friend as Faith, Constance, Ron, Stan, Steve, Kelly, Rowena, Shelly, Kristen, Tawdry, Cumbucket, Teela, Cheetara, and Evilyn. And just so she knows...she will be DENIED every single time.

The Not So News

- What's that you say...the Hills is fake? I don't believe it for one damn minute...I don't even care that MTV shot a scene of Spencer dropping Heidi off at LAX one day and "pick her up" 15 minutes later the same day...there is no way that it is fake. I still don't care that all of their clothes are the same except for their shirts. It is SO NOT FAKE! Okay, maybe it is a little fake. The only way it could be more fake is if Heidi rode home on a snow white Unicorn that shit Skittles. Can I also say to the world that sometimes I wish I could splash acid in my eyes and puncture my ear drums when I see them on TV. In other Heidi/Spencer news, he apparently has kept her out of the loop on the money he has been getting from photogs he tips off when they are going to appear in public somewhere. Photogs are actually paying these douches money for photos? WTF? Why am I not famous? [celebslam]

- Michelle Rodriguez is going to the big house for a violation of her probation. At least 180 days in jail. That's a shame. I can't remember, did she already die on Lost? And is it really a good idea to send this woman to a lady prison...is that really going to deter her? [justjared]

- Perez Hilton is being sued by alleged "coke planter" Samantha Ronson over that very accusation. Hilton repeated a story on his website about Samantha Ronson planting coke in Lindsay Lohan's car and staging her passed out from cracking out photos. She is claiming defamation and that she has never handled cocaine in her life. Uh huh...girl, if you have never done coke then I can say that I have never had sex with men. Girl is busted up in most of the pictures that are taken of her, and if that is not an after effect of snorting blow then she fell out of an ugly tree and hit every damn branch on the way down. Hon, there are some people who know the difference between drunk face and coke face...because they are two very different things. [ICYDK]

- Britney Murphy's husband is one hot slab of manmeat. How he keeps the pretty young things in check and from throwing themselves at him in public is a quandry that I will never know the answer to. Britney really outdid herself with this one. He either has a gazillion dollars hidden in an offshore account, is an absolute tiger in the sack, or love really does conquer all. Yet another question I will never have the answer to. I bet she had the most gorgeous jewelry made after she had his tusks removed. [janetcharlton]

STOP THE INSANITY

Speaking of coming out and looney bin lesbians, I was just talking about this crazy bitch with my friend Jon this weekend. I don't even remember how the topic got started, but I think there was someone walking through Northpark Mall that looked like Susan Powter and I thought out loud "what happened to that crazy screaming former fatass lesbian"? Of course, Jon knew and said that she was running a fat farm or something like that. Bitch is getting damn old. I miss hearing her screaming at fat people to "STOP THE INSANITY", the only thing that would have made it hotter is if she would have spit on people after screaming at them. Damn, this country needs her now more than it ever has. Bring back Susan Powter!
[dlisted]

Come On Out

Happy "Coming Out Day" to all those 'mos that have thrown open the closet door and have stomped out wearing their momma's CHA CHA heels and clip on earrings. Or the ones who sang "I Will Survive" into a can of Aqua Net Hairspray in the bathroom using a bathtowel both as haute couture and as a wig.

We all know the emotions and the insanity involved in coming out as a gay man or woman, so if you know someone who is struggling with their sexuality, share your story, be there for them, ecourage them, talk with them, and let them know that their world will not be at an end. Things may be rough for a while, but ultimately living life as the person you are is so much easier than living a life as a person you will never be. The LA Gay & Lesbian Center has a whole slew of coming out stories submitted by random people from all around. Click here to read some of the stories.

XOXO, Gossip Girl

I LOVE this show. There is just something about getting a peek into the exclusive lives of Manhattan's Upper East Side's wealthiest teens.

Music Video of the Day

DB Boulevard - Point of View

Music Video of the Day

Kelly Clarkson - Don't Waste Your Time

Let The Weekend Begin

Have a good weekend fools. Some of us have Monday off for Columbus Day, and some of us do not. I do, and I am going to take full advantage of it. Here is a little send off. Ride 'em Cowboy

What I'm Thankful For

Today I would like to express that I am thankful for the time I got to spend with my Mamaw when she was alive. Always my staunchest supporter, she would come to my rescue when I got in trouble at home when I was a kid...speeding over and scooping me up to spend the night with her, rescuing me from my mean momma and daddy. She was an amazing woman and I learned a lot about life and who I am from our many conversations. My only regret is that I didn't fully come out to her before she passed away five years ago, but something tells me that she knew long before anyone else did. :-) A random conversation we had once when I was about 17 years old, she said..."there is nothing wrong with gay people or being gay." When I was struggling with coming out, I would look back on her saying that and get a huge sense of relief. I miss her so much.

Love Your Studs

It's cool Jamie, I am sure piercings hurt. A low threshold for pain...that is why I never got them. Well, actually...low threshold for pain in the particular context of a needle piercing through my skin, but a much higher threshold for other things, but that is another story for another time in another place. But OMG, what's even MORE cool, my Nannie has the same pair of clip on studs...they are totally like earring buddies and stuff.
[bwe]

Gimme Gimme Gimme Less

I really didn't even have a desire to comment on this train wreck video, but I do want to say that if Britney were in my pole dancing stripper class at the gym she would be thrown out. I mean, there are women in there three times as big as she is and they can drop it like it is hot like no one else I have ever seen. You know...kind of like they don't actually weigh 300lbs. Meanwhile Britney is making a complete mockery of the stripper profession by using the pole as leverage to keep her tipsy ass from planting her face into the stage. Seriously, it looks like a project done by the AV club at an academically inferior public school. Still a cute song though. And btw...love your wigs, hope they win.

Fall Movies: Chick Flicks Galore

As a homosexual, I relate more to the romantic love stories and drama themed movies, and this fall, there are two movies that I am particularly interested in seeing. I just hope that they don't turn out to be horrid tales like the movie "Evening". Although I do admit Dido's song "White Flag" played in the background of the movie trailer is what got me in the movie theatre seat. Luckily, neither of the two movies that I am looking forward to seeing have catchy slowed down bass heavy mixes of one of my favorite songs.

1. Jane Austen Book Club

2. August Rush

Anyone else interested...wanna make it a "date"? Call me.

What I'm Thankful for

Today I would like to say how very thankful I am for the girls I work with. My days would be dull and dreary if it were not for the ladies of the Clerk's office. Each one of them brings a ray of sunshine to my day...whether one is crying because she has a sore throat, or they have kids calling them round the clock, and even if they are about to hit that time of the month (I have gotten in sync with a couple of them). I love those ladies!

This Week on The Hills...

I don't know why I pay any attention to this show, but I can't help it. I love these girls, except Heidi...she is a dumb slag with a douche bag wife beater for a fiance. I am only going to talk about these two because the other girls are content in their lives. So this week was Spencer and Heidi's one year anniversary, and she decided to be a boss and delegate tasks to other workers that she slithered in and stole promotions from. Elodie is my new hero. Last week she basically called Heidi a halfwit who deserves to be shit on by her former friends for choosing Spencer, and that she clearly has no comprehension of right and wrong...which I would agree with. Well, this week Elodie gave Heidi her just desserts by agreeing to cover for Heidi at a Grammy party, despite the fact that the day before the party was her last day at Bolthouse. Heidi's excuse is always..."you understand that it is just business right?". Elodie says, "yeah totally...it is all just business." Well in the middle of their anniversary dinner where Spencer lays all of it on very thick, Heidi gets a call demanding to know where she is and then she is informed that Elodie quit the day before. The look on Spencer's face when his night is ruined is priceless and scary at the same time, because you know that when all the cameras are off and no one is around he is going to beat the bloody hell out of Heidi.

Meanwhile, all the girls hate Justin Bobby and who is the ugly fat chick they have tagging along? She is grody and needs to be given the keys to the street immediately.

Solange feels bad for Buhnoonce

Okay Okay...I know what some of you are thinking..."who in the hell is Solange, and why do I care". Well, Solange, for those that don't know, is the less talented masculine dude looking younger sister of the multitalented performing artist, actress, model, designer, all around media saturated Beyonce. Solange was recently quoted as saying she does not want to be like Buhnoonce at all:

"I don't want to get that far," she claims. "I feel really bad for my sister. I'm always like, 'Oh, let's go to the mall,' or 'Let's go here,' and she can't. I enjoy having that."

Hon, you don't have to worry about that, as you cannot sing and I saw about five seconds of your acting abilities in that horrid made for DVD movie "Bring It On Again and Again" with Hayden Panitiere (however you spell it, I ain't got the time to look). Although it would suck not being able to go to the mall and stuff for some Chik-Fil-A.

Daytime TV Hotness

There is really no shortage of hotness when it comes to daytime television. I mean...really. This is James Scott. He plays the dapper and suave EJ Wells on Days of Our Lives. I have crushed on this man since I saw him on my dad's fave soap, All My Children. He is just dreamy and has the nicest voice and a damn sexy british accent.Sometimes I wonder if he is a homo, mostly because I really want him to be, but this one time he was doing a scene and he clearly had to make a dramatic exit and he spun around on his heal like only a homo could do. A boy can dream. Another fond memory for me was when he had to get shirtless and stand in front of a fiery caldron across from Celeste to do a supernatural paternity test to ask the spirits whether or not Sami's babies belonged to EJ or Lucas...because an amnio test is totally inaccurate.

That's Not "Stuff" Meredith

This commercial is DEEEEsgusting and I hate it more and more everytime I see it. WIPE YOUR DAMN FACES you filthy pigs!

For some reason this commercial reminds me of a very special Brady Bunch episode gone wrong when Peter wants to grow a mustache really bad, but he can't. There is nothing about this commercial that makes me want to order a Domino's Oreo Cookie Pizza...other than the fact that it only costs $3.99.

Life's Little Annoyances

Does anyone else ever find it to be a complete annoyance to have to get up and walk to the bathroom to pee during the workday? I do, and I will scream it to the world. It drives me absolutely insane because it is SUCH a nuisance...you know...like having to shake orange juice before you drink it.

Not My Usual Type, but...

isn't Lee Pace totally adorable? He is the star of the new show Pushing Daisies on ABC. I haven't seen it yet, but it has been recorded and will be viewed by me soon. I have heard great things about it. He is totally cute...SO totally cute. Actually, I take that back. He is pretty much my type. Tall (I think), lean, dark hair, great teeth. Yep, my type. Lee, call me.

UPDATE: New Picture. Thanks to Al over at "My Life on the Al List" for pointing me in the direction of a website called hunkdujour where I found this promo picture of Lee Pace.

Playlist: Top 10

September/October 2007
1. Poison Kiss - The Last Goodnight
2. Strage Education - The Cinematics
3. Cry For You - September
4. Rocketship - Shiny Toy Guns
5. Apologize - One Republic ft Timbaland
6. Bitter Song - Butterfly Boucher
7. Oh My God - Mark Ronson ft Lily Allen
8. Quicksand (Thievery Corp. Remix) - Natalie Walker
9. This Time - Melanie C
10. Sober - Kelly Clarkson

What I'm Thankful For

Today I would like to say how thankful I am for my mom. One of the best moms around. She is one of those kind of moms that everyone loves and you will not find one bad word being said about her. Wonder what happened with me? Anyway, here she is with my slightly misfit brother. I could not find a good picture of me and her.

Top of the Morning!

What I'm Thankful For

Today I am thankful for: my health.

Lou Pearlman is DEEEEsgusting

Lou Pearlman's resume just seems to be growing and growing. The man responsible for creating hugely successful boy bands N'SYNC and Backstreet Boys, along with the mediocre O-Town, is close to adding felon, and is now being accused of being a perverted pedophile with a penchant for the young men he built into powerhouse singing groups. A former assistant is quoted as saying that when asked what it would take to get into a band, "I'll never forget this as long as I live. He leaned back in his chair, in his white terry cloth robe and white underwear, and spread his legs," Mooney told Burrough. "And then he said, and these were his exact words, 'You're a smart boy. Figure it out.'" Another boy bander was quoted as saying, "Look, if a guy wants to massage me, and I'm getting a million dollars for it, you just go along with it. It's the price you got to pay." Rich Cronin, lead singer of LFO, recalled Pearlman told him of an "ancient massage technique that if I massage you and we bond in a certain way, it will strengthen your aura."

OKAY, I have heard enough. I am completely disgusted by this, and not really at all surprised one bit. Lou Pearlman is a big fat piggy and there is no amount of money in the entire world that would even make giving him a blow job sound tempting. How would you even find the peen, because this man doesn't even have a neck or is it that he doesn't have a chin? It would be like pin the peen on the piggy. You know every single one of the members of O-Town had a taste of "Big Poppa's" cigar, because not a single one of those hookers has an ounce of talent...as can be proven by the fact that they had one hit that wasn't even that cute, and half of them are working in construction now. The things people will do for fame. I am totally not above a little toe tapping to be famous, but the casting couch has have a Heavenly Mattress from The W Hotel Chain, and I will have to rolling around in at least 800TC sheets, AND the "director" has to be hotter than the sun, and there absolutely has to be "moose tracks" involved. [pagesix]

What I'm Thankful For

So, in an attempt to have a more positive outlook on life, and to prove that I am not a completely miserable wretch all the time, I have decided to bring a little optimism to my blog and at the end of my blogging work day, I will say one thing that I am truly thankful for in my life.

Today I am thankful for: Rooni aka Becky, and this is why...

Taking Chances

I don't know about any of you other queens out there, but I am so DAMN excited for Celine Dion's new album to come out I could just spit. I have loved this woman's voice ever since I heard her sing "Love Can Move Mountains". The first song released as a single is not as fantastic as I thought it would be, but I am excited to know what else she will have on the album, as she has collaborated with a lot of A-List producers and artists. Release date: November 13.

But, I Don't Wanna Look!

I don't know about any other people out there on Myspace, but it seems they like to specifically tailor their advertisements to me and everyone else. I am sure all of you have eventually gotten to a screen with the simulated cam shot of some hussy who looks like she is sitting at her computer and talking to someone else on her webcam...I know...totally annoying. Well, I don't have my "orientation" set to anything in particular, mostly because I don't know that the random high school classmates that run up on my profile will be able to handle my sexuality. Actually, I couldn't care less, but when I decided to click the button that "outs" me as being a full blown fag, the option had been taken away, so I just never did, but I digress. So there is this Match.com ad that rolls now with the girl at the computer. Usually it is some blonde average looking girl who has been slutted up to look appealing sitting there giggling trying to get my loins all warm, but no. THEN, TODAY I decline the gazillionth "bot" trying to be my "friend" only to have this fake webcast playing in their ad:I screeched in horror at what I saw. If this is the type of girl they think I would like, then they are sadly mistaken. If I were to date women, I would surely not date a horse faced woman with what looks like either a raisin or brown M&M stuck to her face. Nobody wants to date that. The only woman who can really pull of that whole mole look is Cindy Crawford, but Cindy is not spending her time in front of a webcam...she is busy designing furniture for Rooms To Go. As the "webcast" plays there is this part where she tries to play sexy librarian as she just all of a sudden is wearing glasses and she takes them off seductively closing the arm next to the right lens...all the while squinting to adjust her bloodshot eyes to the blurry screen, slightly persing her lips with an ever so slight licking of them, while she...WHA!?!?!?!? Where am I? Oh yeah, so yeah...totally not into her at all. NEXT!

In Other News: Britney Loses Custody

Britney Spears lost custody of her kids like 10 minutes ago ya'll. Dang it...I knew this was gonna happen. Like a little bitch, KFed's lawyer went in and snitched on Brit for driving with a suspended license and it worked. She must give up custody of those kids by Wednesday...I am sure they are going to be so well adjusted when they grow up. That girl should never have gotten married or had those kids. Actually, on the real, I think she planned for this to happen, because no mother wants to admit she can't raise her kids and the courts taking them away can be spun into a campaign for the general public to feel sorry for her fat ass because "no child should be taken away from their mother" even if she is a grown ass white trash mess who can't seem to realize she is an adult. I blame Paris Hilton for this and I don't feel one bit sorry for her. [TMZ]

Missed Connection of the Day

Missed connections on Craigslist have got to be one of the greatest ideas that rivals such things as sliced bread, digital camera phones, and abortions. I cannot count the mindless hours I have spent reading over these things and getting a kick out of some of them or being absolutely horrified by others. I am no longer shocked or awed by what people post. They post to the people they wish they met and some even try to entice a reply like this old geezer:


Ryan, at Apple - m4m - 67

I know you are a little young for me. You may even be straight (probably not). Let's get to the meat and potatoes of what I'm trying to say. I want to pour moose tracks (ice cream) all over your nipples and lick it off. Yesterday i got an email you had worked on and i believe it was a sign from God. i love how you sign your name "That's Texas Time, ya'll." It gives me goose pimples. meet me in cafe macs so we can "talk."

First of all, thank you Mr. Geezer for explaining to us what "moose tracks" are, because I would have never guessed that it was ice cream. I figured it might have something to do with taking a big foul dump on Ryan or pouring a bucket of mud on him, so I was pleasantly surprised to know it was not feces nor mud, but ice cream (chocolate, I would assume). Second of all, next time you should substitue "goose flesh" for "goose pimples", you are clearly not an 8 year old girl. Third, what does Ryan do, because if he had to "work" on an email he sounds dumb and right up my alley, but only if he does tons of coke and experiments with other drugs to the point I have to carry him home draped over my shoulder. Finally, what exactly is meant by "that's Texas time ya'll", and is he trying to work it out as a new catchphrase like Gretchen Weiners tried to do with "that is so fetch", because, trust, it is not catching. PS, what do you mean by "talk"...is that code for "toe tapping" which is code for "hanky panky" which is code for "sex" which is code for "hot fuck"?

That's HOT!

Everyone has been hearing about how David Letterman kept railing on Paris Hilton and how her camp said that she will never be going back on his show because of the humiliation...yeah...it is Dave's fault you are so humiliated, because it would never be the sex tape, the alleged STD's, the revolving door to the bedroom,....I really could go on forever and a day. And I am SO sure that Dave really cares that she may not be back on his show...for reals. I love how he just keeps going on and on and on and on about it and she is clearly getting SO pissed. Until someone screams "I love you Paris" and she turns into her little girl voice and says "love you too", and of course Dave says..."aww...someone you met in prison?" SO SO FUNNY!

Hello little boys...

I saw this Motorola Razr2 commercial a few weeks ago and I love it. The guy that gets his shirt all cut up is SO cute, and I envy the hot girl when she is straddling him when he is on his back on the subway platform, but I would be breathing hard for MUCH different reasons. While I would never ever buy a Motorola product (Nokia is my main squeeze of choice when it comes to wireless), I do applaud them for a hot ad. Take a look here: