Missed Connection of the Day

Missed connections on Craigslist have got to be one of the greatest ideas that rivals such things as sliced bread, digital camera phones, and abortions. I cannot count the mindless hours I have spent reading over these things and getting a kick out of some of them or being absolutely horrified by others. I am no longer shocked or awed by what people post. They post to the people they wish they met and some even try to entice a reply like this old geezer:


Ryan, at Apple - m4m - 67

I know you are a little young for me. You may even be straight (probably not). Let's get to the meat and potatoes of what I'm trying to say. I want to pour moose tracks (ice cream) all over your nipples and lick it off. Yesterday i got an email you had worked on and i believe it was a sign from God. i love how you sign your name "That's Texas Time, ya'll." It gives me goose pimples. meet me in cafe macs so we can "talk."

First of all, thank you Mr. Geezer for explaining to us what "moose tracks" are, because I would have never guessed that it was ice cream. I figured it might have something to do with taking a big foul dump on Ryan or pouring a bucket of mud on him, so I was pleasantly surprised to know it was not feces nor mud, but ice cream (chocolate, I would assume). Second of all, next time you should substitue "goose flesh" for "goose pimples", you are clearly not an 8 year old girl. Third, what does Ryan do, because if he had to "work" on an email he sounds dumb and right up my alley, but only if he does tons of coke and experiments with other drugs to the point I have to carry him home draped over my shoulder. Finally, what exactly is meant by "that's Texas time ya'll", and is he trying to work it out as a new catchphrase like Gretchen Weiners tried to do with "that is so fetch", because, trust, it is not catching. PS, what do you mean by "talk"...is that code for "toe tapping" which is code for "hanky panky" which is code for "sex" which is code for "hot fuck"?