My Second Favorite Commercial

This Herbal Essences commercial had me on the floor when I saw it. Never in a million years would I have dreamt up a long haired biker bear in a commercial like this one. Why are my two favorite commercials about hair, considering I have none? Enjoy!

Music Video of the Day

Katharine McPhee - Love Story. Why do I feel like this is a hair care commercial.

He's not that hot

Can you people honestly tell me that if Matt Damon were not a Hollywood star you would look twice at him? I have to say, I. DON'T. THINK. SO. He is no better looking than the average guy. Actually, he is just kind of average, and how tall is he? Like 5'9"? Here is a closeup of him at the premiere of The Bourne Ulitmatum to prove my point.Average...you can admit you think so. Just admit it.

She ain't no Barbara Walters

First question: Who hired this dumbass slag to do interviews? She is terrible.
Second question: I would do WAY better than her, where do I apply?

She can't even read the damn teleprompter or get her cues right. Is this "buzz" show only broadcast on the internet, or this actually on tv? Does Merry actually work for Kraft Services? She looks like she would be good at slopping loose meat sandwiches onto a cafeteria tray, because her calling CLEARLY isn't broadcast journalism, although I do prefer her to Elisabeth Hasselback because Merry also looks like the kind of girl that doesn't go to a bar unless it is filled with gay men. Poor Merry.

Who Knew the News was Entertaining

Go Mika!

My Favorite Commercial

Here is a better quality version of my current favorite commercial:

To Catch a Predator

You know, I can't help but hate and love this show at the same time. For those who have been living under a rock for the last three years, I am referring to NBC's Dateline sting operation: To Catch a Predator. The endless parade of creepy men looking for a hot tryst with an underage girl or boy makes my stomach turn a little bit tighter every single time I watch. At the same time, I can't help but laugh at these guys for doing what they are doing. Last night, as I watched with intent, I was also chatting on AIM with my friend Brad as we gave play-by-play commentary about the whole thing. I will bring some of that chat transcript to you later today. But to tide you over until then, here are some of my favorite quotes from the sleezebags who got caught last night and from host Chris Hansen.
Hansen: "Um, take your jelly with you."
Hansen: "That's a little creepy I gotta tell you."
"I am gonna be labeled a loser now."
Girl Actress: "Wow, I love your Mustang."
"I know this looks bad."
"Did I do something wrong." (with a dumbass look on his face)
"You give good directions...yeah."
"I'm not gay or anything, I just wanted to hang out."
"Top?...No, I don't know what that means."
"Funny thing is...I knew something was going on."

No News is Good News?

It seems the presses have all stopped in anticipation and baited breath about how Lindsay's life is gonna turn out. Is there NOTHING else going on?

Music Video of the Day

Kanye West (ft. Daft Punk) - Stronger

Beyonce Eats Stage

After my initial shock of her falling down about 7 stairs, I laughed and laughed and laughed. That is what she gets for banging her head all over the place to that wretched song. Payback is a bitch when all you do for the people who got 9th degree burns from the fireworks show is visit them in the hospital for a photo op and present them with autographed CD's.


Or maybe it is karma coming back to knock her in the face after they looked at Michelle fall on 106 & Park like she was a retard.


Now...when do we get to see Kelly fall, because I would really like to see that too.

Music Video of the Day

In honor of Lindsay Lohan's career, at best, careening towards Lifetime Movies of the week...most likely based on her own life here is Lindsay Lohan singing "Over". Oh who am I kidding, the Lifetime movie network isn't going to hire Lindsay to play Lindsay. they will totally get Tracy Gold to fill the role in the made for tv movie, Spiraling Outta Control: The Lindsay Lohan Story, because the actual Lindsay Lohan will be filling Dana Plato's position at the Premiere Laundromat in the Valley.

Ugly Mug

I can't even feel sorry for this girl...she got the drug face going on here in this mugshot. It is ALL over now. Where the hell is her damn mother? OH...that's right. She is trying to be Lindsay's bff.

The worst part about this crap is that she is slapping every single person in the face that is using rehab and sobriety to help better their lives. She needs to watch herself, because she is walking with one foot in the grave. She deserves to go to jail. REAL JAIL. Lock her rancid ass up and throw away the key.

[TMZ]

And whilewe are on the topic of drugs...

My allergies were flaring up something fierce today and were clearly coming for me. I took some "non-drowsy" Benadryl (because I am out of quick dissolving Alavert) and now I am totally sleepy.

Lock the bitch up.

TMZ is reporting that Lindsay Lohan was arrested at 2am this morning for DUI, and they also allegedly found narcotics as well. That is all I am going to say about this, because I am sick of this slag. [tmz]

I am SO Blind

From NY Daily News:

Which rocker half of a married couple had a steady boyfriend for years before his headline-making nuptials with his famous girlfriend?

- Hmmm...does that mean they are still married now, because if not I kind of feel it could be Dave Navarro or Tommy Lee. If they are still married, I got nothing.

Music Video of the Day

Expose - I'll Never Get Over You (Getting Over Me)

What's That you say Anderson?

It is at the end...and wait for it...

Nothing to be nervous about? Does Erica know something we all know, but have never really been told? So many questions and not enough answers.

Get it together men!

This is the week for video clips, and this one is HILARIOUS!

Music Video of the Day

Garbage - The World is Not Enough

Simple Rules for the Movies

Just going to the movies these days can be even more dramatic than the monologue in The Others when Nicky Kidman finds out she is a ghost...sure didn't see that coming. I mean...with young lovers canoodling, kids misbehaving, and bitches talking...I don't know how I haven't had a complete meltdown and lost my shit on more than 15 occasions. I am going to lobby for this to play before every single movie I go to.



Of course my favorite verse is: "Did you bring your baby? Babies don't watch this, take the seed outside! Leave it in the streets! Run over it after the show!"
[bwe]

It is healing!!!!!

Click on the picture to see a picture of my scalp today. Hardly induces vomiting or gag reflexes at all.

Here is more commentary on my wound:

Email #1:
Matt to Jessica: Check your gag reflex before you look at this.
Jessica to Matt: OMG!!! he needs to go have that looked at! It is clearly infected!
Matt to Charlie: Another infected advocate. I agree.
Charlie to Matt: It is NOT infected, just look at it today...hardly any gagging to be had.

Last night on AIM:
Charlie to Neil: Wanna see something gross?
Neil to Charlie: Nice 7's. They are cute.
Charlie to Neil: HAHAHA! You are such a homo. I have a gaping hole in my head in that picture and you are making commentary on my fashions.
Neil to Charlie: LOL! Clearly you are okay, and even with that gash a person should still try to look cute...all I am saying. Those ARE 7's right?
Charlie to Neil: Yes, they are 7's.
Neil to Charlie: Okay...NOW tell me...how did that happen?

Mentos and Beer: Deadly as Mentos and Diet Coke?

I LOVE this commercial

This isn't the best quality version of this commercial, but it is all I could find.

Umm...surely this can't be right.

I took this picture on a trip to SeaWorld for my friend Amy's birthday a month or so ago. I cannot count how many things are wrong with this picture. Something in the back of my mind tells me that if Jesus did walk this Earth, he would not be from Kansas, nor would he drive a Daewoo. I mean, really...who does drive a Daewoo. They couldn't even give those cars away. I know this because when Daewoo pulled out of the US, there was a Daewoo/Suzuki dealer in Austin that was giving them away with the purchase of a new Suzuki. For the record...there were no takers.

I had 3 vivid dreams last night

1. The first dream I had involved...well, actually let me set it up for you. Do you remember watching the movie Gremlins 2 (you can admit it), and the part of the movie towards the end when all the green Gremlins were in the lobby of the mall and about to get zapped by the one that had genetically altered himself into electricity? Well, that is how it was. Cats everywhere, but in the middle of a house, not a mall, and there was an electric kitty on hold on the phone, and one of the cats could speak. I can't remember what the cat said to me, but I knew that I had to get rid of them, so I took the electric kitty off hold and tried to dispose of all the kitty cats. Did it work? No, it just made their hair stand on end, and I have no idea what happened after that.

2. The second dream involved nuns. Nuns, nuns, and more nuns. I don't really remember much other than that.

3. My third dream started out with my Jeep going into the shop and the dealer giving me a Pontiac Solstice convertible to drive. It was silver and EVERYONE wanted a piece of it. I drove it to a carnaval and parked it. I think the Pussycat Dolls were singing on a stage next to a farris wheel, but I can't be sure it was them. Then I saw Fergie walking around and nobody but me knew who she was. She kept looking at me, and I was like...is that her or not? I finally went back to the car, got my camera, found her, and asked if I could have a picture with her. She obliged and as soon as I took a camera flash, the razzi's showed up and started flashing us with their cameras. We got to talking and I told her how I had gone to her concert in Houston and we chatted more. BTW, she did not have methface in my dream, and her hair was not oily. Then, I turned around and we were on a red carpet outside a premiere or something, but the razzi's only wanted my photo. I later met her inside and she was like...can I get your number so we can hang out sometime? I had no card to give her, but I wrote it down and then the alarm went off. The best part. Razzi puttin' my biznazz in the news.

Is it healing?

So...for all of you people that have been wonderful and showing your concern about my scalp. Here is what my head looked like yesterday...I think this is/was its most disgusting. A couple of the replies that I received via email after I sent this particular picture:

Joey: (from two seperate emails) OMG!!! WTF?!?! That is DEEEEEESGUSTING. I feel sick. I think you need to put some stuff on it. DID you get it checked out? I think you need to get it checked out. How did you not yelp in wrenching pain.

Charlie: I did yelp, but the pitch was too high to be heard by human ears, and I almost wept tears of blood the pain was so intense.

Matt: Your head makes me want to kill myself. I just gagged.

Click at your own risk...it is GROTESQUE.

Amen

Interesting video of Rev. Reggie Longcrier, pastor of Exodus Missionary Outreach Church in Hickory, North Carolina, has posted a message online responding to presidential candidate John Edwards, who claims his opposition to gay marriage is influenced by his Southern Baptist background. Simple, to the point, and effective.

Mid Morning Hotness

Usually I post a picture of a hot man...today it is video of a hot man. Working out.

DAYUM!

What in Gay Hell

For my latest edition of "What in Gay Hell", I bring you a remake of Paris Hilton's "Nothing in This World" video as seen through the eyes of...well...have a look for yourself.

I mean...don't you just love the locations they used to make this video? I have never seen such genius in my life. Do they not have any rich friends that could let them film so they wouldn't be stuck at the trailer park? If not, they could have at least straightened up a bit and run a vacuum or a mop across the floor. I will give them credit for being over the top and slightly funny in spots.

Music Video of the Day

Rihanna & Nicole Scherzinger - Winning Women. This isn't really that good of a song, but I like the chorus:

All...All...All a girl wants, all a girl needs, is just those, all those simple things, like to be cared for to have him be there for ya', what matters is those sweet things. It's all a girl really wants.

I DO NOT like how they say their names in the lyrics.

The rest of it is pretty...eh.

I'm SO Blind

From the NY Post:

WHICH hard-partying starlet has figured out a way to get high while wearing an alcohol-monitoring anklet? She was asking where she could score some Ecstasy at a Vegas club the other night.

- DUH, Lindsay Lohan or maybe Paris Hilton, but most likely good ole' Linds. Girl has got a serious problem.

WHICH too-good-to-be-real Hollywood leading man and his hard-bodied wife deserve Oscars for their portrayal of a perfect marriage? They both have secret lives with members of the same sex.

- No clue..."too good to be real"? Silly homos.

The Simpson's Do Harper's Bazaar

Just in time for the release of their new full length movie, the Simpson's hit Paris accompanied by Linda Evangelista to model the latest fashions in a seven page spread.

Music Video of the Day

Juice Newton - Queen of Hearts. I used to LOVE this song when it would come on the radio in my mom's powder blue 1984 Chevy Monte Carlo. Ahhh...youth.

Victoria Has Arrived

So, I absolutely had to watch the hour long special about Victoria Beckham coming to America last night, because as Victoria would say...it is MAJUH. I found it to be kind of trite, but I am loving her. Some of my favorite quotes from last nights episode:

"My new assistant cannot be too pretty. She also cannot be too thin."

On her new assistant complimenting her heels: "I would never be caught with a pair of ballerina heels on...you should probably think about getting you a pair of these."

"It is exhausting being fabulous."

On getting invited to a socialite luncheon..."I have seen this before, I watch Desperate Housewives." And BTW, those ladies scared the shit out of me...especially that one that thought she could screech like a dolphin and thought Becks was getting paid $60 billion to play for the L.A. Galaxy. And the amount of plastic surgery in the room...and the decorating in the house they were having the luncheon...OMG. SCARY! I also enjoyed her getting drunk in the middle of the day with these women.

When she got pulled over by the police and was asked to get out of the car: "I can't be photographed in flats."

After her chat with Perez Hilton: "Let me make myself miserable for the cameras."

Another favorite part was in the earthquake simulator when she was supposed to duck, cover, and...???, the look on her face when she walked into that horribly decorated trailer, and then when the trailer started rocking, you could see that she screamed the word "FUCK". SO GOOD!

I am sure in a few weeks I will be over the overexposure, but for now I am okay with it. GOD, what it must be like to be her...I would LOVE LOVE LOVE it.

Almost Scalped

SO, I have been watching my parents' dog and house since Saturday, as they have been out of town. They have the most spoiled ass rotten dog that is the biggest pain in my ass EVER. Hearing or seeing one drop of moisture fall from the sky sends this dog into a complete meltdown and he will dig through the concrete barrier my parents have installed under the entire perimeter of their backyard to keep him from doing just that. It is like a damn cartoon animal. Well, I was busy with work yesterday and did not notice the rain started falling down to wake my dreams and let it wash away my sanity and sent me into panic mode, because the last time this dog got out I had to drive around the damn hood looking for his limp walking ass. I immediately jumped into the car to rush home to let him in the house. I push the button on the garage door opener and just COULDN'T wait a few seconds to let the door rise and I end up running into the bottom of the door, which scraped across the top of my head taking skin with it. I dropped to the down grabbing my head in tears and afraid that I was going to pass out from the pain and die on the floor of my parents garage, later becoming food for Pug after he had found a weak spot in the fence like those damn dinosaurs in Jurassic Park. I have provided some pictures to show you what exactly had happened. The pictures are slightly gross, so click on the black and white bald picture to see the grotesque mess. The worst part about it is, I didn't realize how bad it really was until a few hours later when it went from numb to on fire, I walked down the hall and asked a colleague to look at my head and she FREAKED the fuck out.

Music Video of the Day

Aly & AJ - The Potential Breakup Song. HATED this song the first time I heard it, but for some reason it sticks.

Cute Boy from Kathy Griffin's show

So, I just watched Kathy's recent episode where she performed at the GayVN Awards and at the Prison in Arizona. During a press conference, they focused on this guy like three or four times. Totally cute, and looks to be as tall as me when he is sitting down. Anyone that may know who he is...send him my way (teehee).

Bring on the fall season

There are a couple of shows I am looking forward to this upcoming Fall season. "From the gated communities of The OC to the exclusive world of the Upper East Side." Why do we love peeking into the lives of the rich and fashionable so much? Because even with all the money in the world, they are equally as or even more eff'd up than the rest of us. Bring on Gossip Girl.

Music Video of the Day

Faith Hill ft. Tim McGraw - Like We Never Loved At All

UGH, I HATE slow Fridays

I hate when Fridays go so slow as opposed to just flying by. I am bored and feeling very lazy and will probably get like NOTHING accomplished today. I am SO lazy I will probably not be posting anything else today, so with that said...have a good weekend and reach for the stars ya'll.

Where in Houston is he?

This was a banner ad that was flashing on either Myspace or Friendster or some gay friendly site. I have never seen anyone in Houston that looks like this. Where can I find Jacob because he is kind of handsome and stuff.

Music Video of the Day

Lillix - Sweet Temptation (Hollow)

8,000 hits

A small milestone for me. As of yesterday, I have had 8,000 hits, thank you very much. I was clicked by someone in Plano, TX. Thanks to whoever you are.

Love Your Hair...

Hope it Wins, it deserves to win! What had happened to this girl? She is a big ole hot mess, and just really does not seem to care about any of it. I am really kind of tired of seeing her looking fug, acting like a crazy old cat woman, and generally showing her face in public.PS - Your new bodyguard/alleged lover looks to have a touch of the gay face or maybe meth face.

[dlisted]

photo source: [INF]

More Gay Times with Nick of BB8

Me thinks he doth protest too much, or talks about it too much. He is totally playing the game, but it feels so good to think he might be homo.



PS - Does he have a lisp or an accent? I cant' really tell.

The Not So News

- Ok! magazine is SO nice. They have taken it upon themselves to do the work that Vanessa Manillo and Nick Lachey should have done...if they had enough money to do it. They forked over $400,000 for the Vanachey sex tapes that show Nick having sex with his Mexican hooker (because we all know that is what she is...well, she may not be Mexican, but she is a damn hooker) just to get them off the market. Who cares about these these two? Really? All of this mess was probably all set up by her, because she wants to be a star. Hun...NEVER gonna happen. When you have the prescence of a cardboard cutout on camera...not many people are gonna come calling. [nydailynews]

- Shemar Moore was snapped on a beach. In the surf. Naked. HEEEEYYY! His peen isn't very long soft, but I am not going to judge because he is in the water and we all know what happens in the surf. He could also be a "grower". [dlisted]

- Steve Sanders as the next Bob Barker? I don't think so. I mean, he has the womanizing (remember all the Barker's Beauties problems) down, but he isn't as easily forgiveable or lovable personality like good ole Bob was. [nydailynews]

- Kelly Clarkson has come out swinging, and I hope she knocks Clive Davis's block off. Clarkson was quoted in Blender Magazine (which I will be picking up ASAP) as saying: "I don't know you very well, and I am not a bull-[bleep]er. I get [that] you don't like the album. You're 80; you're not supposed to like my album." I didn't think it was possible for me to love Kelly more than I do right now. Call me! [nypost]

- I think Miss New Jersey planted the pictures herself. I saw this stupid crap on The Today Show this morning, and thought...she was being blackmailed for those pictures? Please...the pictures consisted of her in Halloween costumes, celebrating her 21st birthday, kissing her boyfriend, and her boyfriend pretending to bite her left boob. I have more provocative pictures on my damn driver's license AND passport. I am thinking she put together this mess to get publicity for herself, because she was too afraid to do Coke like Miss America. See the video of her "exclusive" interview at the Today show's website. Matt Lauer is less than impressed, as am I. Note to Miss Jersey...if you are going to make a big deal about nothing, take a lesson from all these celebutards and Miss America at least throw a pic with a nip slip or a crotch shot in there somewhere, or maybe your boyfriend doing a line of coke off your left boob, because we are not interested in your "scandalous" and "embarassing" pictures of you hanging out with your friends at a bar. Note to her friends...you embarass her. Also, what exactly were the blackmailers hoping to collect, because that evidence is worthless. Also, what a big dull dud she is.

Can Jessy get any LESS original

Friends of Jessica Simpson say she has left the luxury of Hollywood for two days in boot camp in Shreveport. She is going so she can learn how to do all the army drills correctly and learn how to salute. The movie will be called "Major Movie Star", and will be about a down on her luck actress that joins the Army who also catches her husband in bed with her hairdresser. Um...correct me if I am wrong, but didn't Goldie Hawn already do a version of that movie with "Private Benjamin"? Maybe I am wrong, but it sounds suspiciously similar...only with Jessy's you can substitue socialite with actress, and husband's death with cheathing husband. It is sure to be box office gold! Remember how she did a remake of "Working Girl"? and the production company has pushed back the release of the movie, because word has it that it is SO bad that it isn't even worth a straight to DVD release. She is awful and just needs to go ahead and go to the house, because nobody cares about her anymore, and her Pimp Daddy Joe needs to quit ripping people off and calling their work "his idea". [nydailynews]

What does JJ Abrams have up his sleeve?

For everyone that went to see Transformers, you probably saw a bizarre trailer set at a going away party for some guy in NYC. The trailer ended with the Statue of Liberty getting her head chopped off, but left us with no title. Well a bunch of sites have cropped up dealing with this as of yet untitled movie and I am just as confused now as I was then.

An official website.

A blog ethanwaswrong which has some cryptic mess on it. No idea what it says.

A site ethanhaaswasright.com which takes you to a page with a puzzle. Follow the highlighted triangles to open the sphere, but what you are supposed to do with the ball when it opens is unkown.

Then there is the myspace page.

This man makes me crazy with his Lost and now this. UGH!

How many fatherless kids there'd be without Maury

Actually, there are probably twice as many that still don't know their baby daddy as there are that do know their baby daddy. I love when the daddy's prove they "ARE NOT THE FATHER", because just seeing those teen trash moms break down and fall out all over the place kicking and screaming and crying really helps me to put my own life in perspective. Of course, at the end of the day I am very sad for the children, because even after the girl has tested 14 men and still no dice...that baby is gonna have a hard time hearing how mommy got gang banged one night and has no idea who the daddy is. After that many, homegirl should probably just give it up and try to find a man that will accept her fatherless child as her own...thank you.


[bwe]

Video of the Day

Alison Krauss & Union Station - New Favorite

Alison Krauss & Union Station
Uploaded by arko88

That's Hot!

Matthew Schaefer

Alli: BEST. DIET. EVER!

Have you guys heard of the new diet drug Alli? It is basically a diet drug that is pretty much like that Allestra "crap" they used to put in Frito Lay chips to make them less fattening, but also caused anal leakage. You have to eat very specific foods when on this pill, or well...there will be SEVERE consequences. And all I really have to say is that it is NOT a diet I would suggest to the gays. Here is a HILARIOUS spoof.

Big Brother 8

So, Big Brother 8 has gotten off to a quick start, and I am hooked, as I have been since season 5 (I believe). I am always sad about the gay representation in the house, and this year is NO different. Could they have EVER picked two homos that didn't reinforce EVERY single horrible stereotype that there ever was? "I am a ressssssepsssonist at a childsssss hair ssssalon". Is that really a profession? I mean...COME ON! I guess, it does make for good TV. I mean...what could be more shocking than one of them screaming, "when I dated him I seemed to somehow immaculately conceive gonorrhea". EWWWWW! That is way too much information, and information that I could have gone on living without ever knowing. I am quite enjoying the twist of having enemies in the house this year. It should make for good tv. What I find even MORE shocking is super cute jock man, Nick's, confession that he has given a guy a blowjob before. Can you even imagine? HOT! Sadly, he has been caught on camera spooning with platter nipple Joe. Has he blocked out the gonorrhea comment? Also, Mike was on the first episode of Lifetime's "Gay, Straight, or Taken". He was neither gay nor taken. The girl thought he was though. Also, Kail needs to be taken care of ASAP. I haven't seen much of her, but I already know I don't like her. Bitch talks about how much she has way too much. I don't care about your gas guzzling H2, or that own half the people in your town, or that you are a multibusinessaire...DON'T CARE! She also seems a bit homophobic. Below is the clip of Nick confessing his oral sex.

Missed Connection - m4w

I love a good missed connection on Craigslist. My friend Brad came across this one in Houston.

Beautiful, Plump Brunette at DT bus stop - I Think I Love You - m4w - 27

I saw you waiting for the bus on Walker street. You are a very curvy brunette, tall, with freckles all over your face and arms. You were wearing a blue shirt, bluejeans, and black tennis shoes. I was wearing a suit and I have a hook for a hand. Did you see me? I think you did and I think you smiled.

If interested, e-mail me with what color your backpack is.

Of course she saw you...you have a hook where a hand should be. And she smiled because gawking at your handicap would not have been cute. And now, because this poor girl smiled Captain Hook is all worked up and has gone all stalker on her ass.

[craigslist]

Ahh...Kids these days

I was enjoying some July 4th festivities in downtown Austin yesterday afternoon/evening and came back to my car to find this stuck to my windshield. You would think kids would come up with more creative ways to be cruel and mean to each other in this day and age instead of taking a page from SO many tired teen angst movies. Of course, if this isn't a mean spirited and unoriginal prank, then homegirl's phone is gonna be blowing up all over the place and she is gonna have some major explaining to do when her parents get that bill.
You just KNOW that some dirty disgusting old man is going to take this as being for real and gonna call her up. "Do you mind if I call you Fancy?" GROSS!!!!!

Dumbest thing I heard today

From the preview for the next episode of some douchey show on The CW called "Hidden Palms":

"Time stops when people die."

Really? I thought it kept going for them. Great writing...this show is totally going to be renewed. Then again, it probably will seeing as how they cancelled the genius that is Veronica Mars.

I'm SO Blind

From NYDaily News:

Which teenage "American Idol" reject is already cropping up on the L.A. gay bar scene?

Beats the hell out of me, as there are WAY too many "could be gay" Idol contestants to count. Sangina maybe? But he said he is straight. Actually, I don't care.

"Evening" Review: It blows!

As a card carrying homo, I am never one to shy away from a "chick" flick that will turn on the water works, prompting me to get up at the end of the movie and scream "I FINALLY FEEL!!!!!"...you know without having to cut myself, but in this case I was extremely, NO, I was SEVERELY disappointed from beginning to end. With an Oscar calibre cast and the man behind "The Hours" running the show, I figured...OMG, this is gonna be SO good, I CANNOT WAIT, and was TOTALLY hooked when Dido's "White Flag" serenaded me at the end of the trailer. Friday night I gathered up 2 of my best boyfriends and we made the trek all the way up to North Austin to view this little gem. Matt began by saying...just to warn you, I cry at movies like this. I screamed...ME TOO! After dealing with an overzealous snack bar boy who was clearly more interested in helping the three of us rather than fill up the small bags of popcorn two middle aged women were already waiting on, and then burning theirs, we went inside, sat, and prepared to cry. Okay, let me begin by saying, that there is WAY too much cutting back and forth from the past to the present. You really have to concentrate in places to remember things, because when they flash back to the future they mention things again and you will be like...what are they talking about? Harris is the object of peoples' affection. Men (yes...men, read: small gay crush by one of the main characters) and women alike all want Harris, never mind the fact that the guy that plays Harris looks like an animated mannequin. And since I don't want to talk anymore about this I will say, Vanessa Redgrave's character has dementia and keeps flashing back to one of the happiest days in her life when she magically fell in love with a man that she would never be with, and how EVERY single person from her past all settled because it was what they were expected to do. There are very romantic parts, and a couple of good one liners, but overall, I would say pay the matinee price, or wait for DVD. Also, leave your tissue at home, you won't need it, unless you find the paper napkins at the theatre too coarse to wipe the popcorn butter off your face. PS - I still love me some Toni Collette and Claire Daines, and EVEN better, I like how they hint at how "Buddy loved Harris too" in the trailer.

Tim Vincent is HOT

I don't know if he is going to permanently take Meredith's place on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, but I would sure as hell like to sit in HIS hotseat...HEEEYYYY.


[bwe]

Product of the Day: Clever Clasp

What on God's green earth could ever be more clever than the Clever Clasp? I saw a proglonged commercial for this product this weekend while I was channel surfing on the couch and I was immediately intrigued. Actually...not so much intrigued as I was like...why didn't I think of that? Of course, when I couldn't take my eyes off the telly, I realized that this product was being marketed to old people, fat people, and old fat people. My favorite and the most offensive part of the commercial is when they say..."Clever Clasp makes putting on jewelry so much easier when it is hard to reach" and they cut to a ginormous woman with a neck as thick as a redwood tree. And she is just a smilin' because now she can FINALLY wear jewelry around her neck. Then they show an older woman who lifts up her arms to put her jewelry on, and because you don't have sound when she all of a sudden and VERY dramatically jerks her arms down, you think that her arms had snapped due to osteoperosis, but no. I also enjoy that their slogan is "Never struggle with your jewelry again", like it is a child that won't shut the hell up, or a dog that won't take a shit, or an anaconda that has wrapped itself around your body and is squeezing the life out of you with every single breath you take, or it is like depression and getting your jewelry on is the equivalent to popping a Prozac. PLEASE!!!!! Those are REAL struggles. Anyway, is it really that hard to put on jewelry? If it is, maybe you shouldn't be wearing it. Furthermore, it comes with a clasp that screws so you can lock it in place, but if people can't even reach behind their fat necks to secure the jewelry, how in Jesus' name are they supposed to turn the lock? By the by, I am okay with old people using this...because I am sure my Nannie has ordered them because there is NO doubt in my mind it is difficult to get your jewelry on after eight Pearl Light Beers, but uncoordinated people who can't figure out how to work the regular necklace clasp...not so much. I tried to find the commercial on YouTube, but no luck. Here is the QVC version.

PS - HSN and QVC sluts are SO hot.

Sirius OutQ in the morning is THE best

When I get out of bed in the morning, I am usually in a semi-foul mood because...well...who wants to get up and go to work...besides Oprah. Well, I make the four block trek to work in my posh Jeep, pull up to my computer and turn on the guys from Sirius OutQ. Hosted by Larry Flick, and featuring his sidekicks Keith Price and Cynthia I always find a better mood after listening to them. They have special guests, on of them being Brad Loekle, and this is just a little taste of what they have to offer. PS, it is NSFW, but SO SO funny. This clip is actually from Brad's myspace page, which is why it features pictures of him.

OUT Q in the Morning Clip

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Music Video of the Day

Natasha Bedingfield - Soulmate

The Not So News

- Sources are saying that Lindsay Lohan has decided to extend her stay in rehab because her assets have been temporarily frozen...thus curbing any shopping trips to buy the latest from Fendi, Prada, or her drug dealer. [jch]

- Candie's is paying Fergie $4 million to sing songs about their brand on her next album. An executive at her label says this:

“With record sales in decline, you must find novel ways to make money out of the music. The trick is to make the brand part of the song so that it slips down easily rather than chokes the fan. Candie’s will reach teens, but it has no say over exactly what Fergie will sing, or when. Fans might think she is just singing about candy. But it’s got to work in the song. Fergie does not sing jingles.”

Um...dude...hate to say it, but that is exactly what a jingle is. Just because it is 2 1/2 minutes long doesn't make it not a jingle, and do you really think that we, as consumers, are stupid enough to think she is talking about peppermint candy or sweettarts candy or...whatever else kind of candy...NO...because you know that mess is going to be in advertisements on TV, and we know that the meth faced slag is getting paid to sing them a song...much like Kelly Clarkson did for Ford, only I think the difference was she HAD to do that song because they were sponsoring her tour (and it wasn't totally bad). Also singing an extended jingle is not "novel", it is selling out because people aren't buying your over processed shitty albums. PS - Can Fergie get her Fug Face Fixed with some of that money, and also after seeing her knees...those too. Little dermabrasion followed by a chemical peel and maybe a sandblast or two. Would totally work wonders. OOOH, maybe she could do a song about getting her face fixed and product place some surgeons practice into a song. That would be genius. [INO]

- Well, it didn't take long for rumors of the Spice Girls fighting to surface, and they have only just announced their reunion tour. I guess as a treat to the fans they are going to make it a true reunion tour and mimick the behavior they had when they were still together showing the world why they broke up in the first place. Thanks girls, you really are the greatest. Just watch out for Posh's chokehold because she is a fembot and I hear that robots can be really strong. You would think for $20 million a piece, the bitches would act like Spice Ladies and not Spice Girls. [ASL]

Afternoon Delight