The Not So News

- Sources are saying that Lindsay Lohan has decided to extend her stay in rehab because her assets have been temporarily frozen...thus curbing any shopping trips to buy the latest from Fendi, Prada, or her drug dealer. [jch]

- Candie's is paying Fergie $4 million to sing songs about their brand on her next album. An executive at her label says this:

“With record sales in decline, you must find novel ways to make money out of the music. The trick is to make the brand part of the song so that it slips down easily rather than chokes the fan. Candie’s will reach teens, but it has no say over exactly what Fergie will sing, or when. Fans might think she is just singing about candy. But it’s got to work in the song. Fergie does not sing jingles.”

Um...dude...hate to say it, but that is exactly what a jingle is. Just because it is 2 1/2 minutes long doesn't make it not a jingle, and do you really think that we, as consumers, are stupid enough to think she is talking about peppermint candy or sweettarts candy or...whatever else kind of candy...NO...because you know that mess is going to be in advertisements on TV, and we know that the meth faced slag is getting paid to sing them a song...much like Kelly Clarkson did for Ford, only I think the difference was she HAD to do that song because they were sponsoring her tour (and it wasn't totally bad). Also singing an extended jingle is not "novel", it is selling out because people aren't buying your over processed shitty albums. PS - Can Fergie get her Fug Face Fixed with some of that money, and also after seeing her knees...those too. Little dermabrasion followed by a chemical peel and maybe a sandblast or two. Would totally work wonders. OOOH, maybe she could do a song about getting her face fixed and product place some surgeons practice into a song. That would be genius. [INO]

- Well, it didn't take long for rumors of the Spice Girls fighting to surface, and they have only just announced their reunion tour. I guess as a treat to the fans they are going to make it a true reunion tour and mimick the behavior they had when they were still together showing the world why they broke up in the first place. Thanks girls, you really are the greatest. Just watch out for Posh's chokehold because she is a fembot and I hear that robots can be really strong. You would think for $20 million a piece, the bitches would act like Spice Ladies and not Spice Girls. [ASL]