The Not So News

- Here we go again! Lance and Reichen are broken up AGAIN! Hopefully this time it will stick, and Reichen will disappear forever. [people]

- Afterelton interviewed actor Matthew Rhys, who plays gay brother/son Kevin on ABC's Brothers & Sisters. Click here to read the interview.

- Barbaro the race winning horse was euthanized today. R.I.P. [yahoo]

- More reports of Posh putting the Kabosh on joining Scientology. A pal of Posh's quoted her as saying, "There's no way I'd spend any money on that nonsense". LOL. I literally fell out of my chair laughing when I read the word "nonsense". [mollygood]

Wanda Sykes: "Gay is the new black"

Wanda Sykes appeared on Ellen and gave her opinion on the issue of Isaiah Washington. Check it you here, thanks to TMZ.

Missed Connection - M4M

Steve in Maintenance - m4m - 32
You're the maintenance guy for my apartment complex, and in fact you live in the same building as me. I've noticed you staring at me when I'm walking the dog, or going out with my boyfriend. I'm staring right back -- wanna make something of it?

--the guy in apt 502

GUH-reat...why would he put..."or going out with my boyfriend" in this MC? I think his boyfriend would like to know that he wants to live out some porno-esque blue collar sex fantasy with the guy from maintenance at his apartment. Then again, maybe they have one of those open relationships.

And don't forget the worst singer in the world

Idol exploiting the unstable is GOLD!

What is Wrong with this Picture?

It is probably more appropriate to ask, "What in GAY hell is wrong with this picture?"

Thank you and goodnight!

The Not So News

- I am not a fan of Rachel Ray's, because I find her annoying and totally uncomfortable as a daytime "talk" show host. When she talks I fell like someone is draggin my eardrum across shards of glass. And "EVOO"? Isn't it just easier to say olive oil? Recently, at a book signing she got a tipsy when her and the crew went to eat, downing four big glasses of vino. After the beverages, Mrs. Ray began spewing her thoughts on Oprah, Brad Pitt, Jenn Aniston, and how she thinks Angelina Jolie is a "backdoor cunt". HEEEAYYYY! I love a woman not afraid to use the "C" word. I mean, I use it on a semi-daily basis. [tmz]

- Tom Cruise has been declared the "Christ" of Scientology for his work in spreading the religion east coast, west coast, worldwide. Now someone feed him the last supper while I get Madonna's mirrored glitter cross and you get the nails...OR how about we just burn him at the stake like they did with witches in Salem. I hope Posh has David's balls in a velvet box on her nightstand and carries them with her at all times, because otherwise I have a feeling Tommy boy is going to try go get his hands on them and convert good ole Davey pretty quick now that he is Jesus...which I can totally see happening if David can't even make a decision about his career on his own. [sun]

- Isaac Cohen, aka KFeds much cleaner twin, used to love Britney Spears so much that he dated a girl in high school that looked similar to her. [dlisted]

- Jennifer Lopez is in a last ditch effort to revive her career and has decided to turn her back on her Roman Catholic Religion and embrace the whacked out Alien Nation Religion of Scientology. I can't say that I am surprised that this has happened. She has been canoodling with all the high lords of Scientology and I didn't figure that it would be long before that Leah Remnants woman that is married to that fat guy on tv would use her magic troll dust to brainwash J.Lo and drag her ample ass to into a dark cave and body snatch her. I guess that is what happens when all you have going on these days is a semi-reality show on MTV used as a vehicle to reintroduce a bombed album and you are married to Skeletor's anorexic brother, or Tom Cruise has offered her a part in movie called "My Alien Mother is Coming to Dinner", based on one of Ron L. Hubbard's books, in which J. Lo will give a razzie award winning performance as the tormented daughter of a crotchety old alien who mated with a human and visits for the holidays. Sorry Stephen, but I had to say it. [IDLYITW]

- Hugh Hefner has decided to take a "pass" on Kelly Osbourne's offer to be his next centerfold. Simply put he said, "We don't airbrush to that extent". HAHAHAHAHA. What a dumb slag. Has she never found one of Ozzie's hidden Playboy's? Does she never seen or heard of "The Girls Next Door"? WAKE UP! [starpulse]

- JESUS!!!!! Will they just FIRE Isaiah Washington already? [dlisted]

She shouldn't be so sure

Can someone to please tell Buhnoonce to drop the arms and stop flashing us her ashy pits please. Someone...anyone...tell her this looks is not as rocking as she thinks it is.

photo credits: SNO

5,000 views

I hit my 5,000th view today! Someone in Pine Valley, NY, who was looking for how Sara Aldridge cleared up her acne was the 5,000th view! Thanks!

The Not So News

- In addition to working a crowd's last nerve on the oh so OVER song "Gold Digger", Jamie Foxx also apparently likes to drench women at his parties with luxury vodka and sex-on-the-beach. Um...what? Who does that? If I were a woman, first off I probably would not attend something like that, but if I were a woman I would have nothing to do with someone trying to drown me with vodka and mixers. A source responds to this by saying "it's his thing." IS IT?!?!?!? [pagesix]

- Dreamgirls led the noms for the Academy Awards but was shut out of Best Picture and THANK GOD Beyonce was not nominated for anything. I am sure her daddy is gonna throw another fit and blame everyone else for his daughters shortcomings when it comes to acting. Yay for Jennifer Hudson for support actress. [msn]

Mrs. Garrett vs Alexis Colby

Introducing the newest celebrity feud:


PS - What has happened to Linda Evans' face?

Homo-esque Weekend Blind Items

WHICH shaggy-haired rocker with a perky pop-star girlfriend has the nightclub circuit buzzing that he’s been taking guys home with him late at night?

John Mayer

WHICH famous athlete isn't as interested in women as his fans believe? He has been able to keep his sexuality under wraps, but the question is for how much longer.

???????? Armstrong?????

[pagesix]

Another Missed Connection

I swear...people are messed up.

Tonight, hopefully...m4m

Is it bad that, deep down inside, I'm hoping, praying, that tonight finds you drinking? That i hope you take shot after shot, and that you get completely trashed, just on the off-chance that you might, in your drunken stupor, find the guts to talk to me again? They say that alcohol is liquid courage, and maybe that's what you need right now to say what you need to say. Or maybe it's what I need to confront you about these things.

I want to hold you in my arms as you tell me you're sorry. I want you to cry on my shoulders and tell me that you know you were an asshole, and that you want to be friends again. I would give you so much at the drop of a dime, even though I know I've done it before and I ended up getting hurt. All you have to do is ask, and maybe all you need to do to get around to saying these things is to take a few more shots tonight. So, with my best intentions, drink up, buddy.

Beyonce's Daddy is WHACK

Beyonce's dad is pissed off once again because he thinks, and told everyone, that the awards show are racist because his daughter did not walk away with an award for Best Song or Best Actress. HELLO! She lost to two living legends: Prince and Meryl Streep.

Knowles told reporters back stage at the Beverly Hills Hilton right after the Golden Globes show ended that his daughter was outcasted and overlooked by a bureaucratic good old boy system that is still alive in 2007 as it was in 1967. "Today is MLK's birthday and it saddens me to say that things have not changed for blacks. Working class blacks and blacks in Hollywood are still being discriminated against. We still have a long way to go," he said."

Hmmm...racist? I guess he must have been taking a piss when Jennifer Hudson won her award. He was washing and drying his hands when Prince was beating his daughter for best song. And...wait...didn't Eddie Murphy also win...was he at the buffet? Then we pretty much ended it with Forrest Whitaker accepting his award. Someone should tell him that America and Hollywood Foreign Press are not ready for a drag queen, who models her dress after the award they give away, to win a Golden Globe, and Beyonce's performance and her song were not all that riveting to begin with. Someone needs to tell Beyonce to take a page from the Joe Simpson handbook and realize that her daddy's attempts of parading his daughter in our faces 24/7 does not make us like her more, and pull in the reigns on his behavior, because we all know Jessica Simpson isn't doing anything these days except selling that fake weave by Ken Paves and crying herself to sleep at night.

The Not So News

- Dinasaurus Lohan is SO very proud of Lindsay for checking into rehab. Proud? Isn't she part of the problem...because I thought she was part of the problem. [sow]

- Diddy was black listed from the CAA party after the Golden Globes and shows the world that he clearly thinks because he is rich he can get in anywhere. No sir. "The rapper tried to attend the CAA party after the Golden Globes, but when the hip-hop mogul arrived with his entourage at the Sunset Tower, he was told his name wasn't on the list. When Diddy became "verbally abusive and started yelling at security," said one witness, hotel owner Jeff Klein came out and "kindly asked Puffy to leave." Combs shouted, "What are you going to do - call the police?" Klein said, "Yes!" Combs shouted back, "Just try it - I'll spend the rest of my life hunting you down!"" Poor P, can't get into the party, and really...what good does he think it is going to do for him to threaten the host and his chances for future parties? Jackass. [pagesix]

- "Fed Up" revealed as Britney song hoax. Basically all you need to know is that it isn't her. [pagesix]

- All black people look the same to Brad Pitt. [pagesix]

- Britney's new beau, Isaac Cohen, was treated to a shopping spree at Ed Hardy, leaving with like 10 bags full of clothes. My question...did Britney pay for this? If she is gonna pay, then why would anyone EVER waste their money by paying full price at Ed Hardy when you can go to Bluefly and get the same shit for half off? Second, why even shop at Ed Hardy to begin with? There are cute things out there. I guess EH just isn't my style. [dlisted]

Ryan Seacrest was offended.

Ryan Seacrest is stomping his heels around the house because Angelina Jolie refused to talk to him and for the life of him he has NO idea why. He went off on darling Angie on his radio show this morning saying:

“I asked her four questions and she didn’t even answer me. I literally stood there and tried to ask a couple of questions. At one point I just kind of let the E! microphone sit in front of her for a second to see if she was going to acknowledge it, and she clearly wanted nothing to do with me or my question or my answer or any of it.”

Let's go to the clip and see what happened:

#1. Brad was in a movie, NOT Angie. She was being respectful to him because it was HIS time.

#2. Ryan is talking about making breakfast and what their day was like...IN Los Angeles (like they would have spent their morning in New Orleans and just flown in), and asking what they made. Who cares if they have eggs and bacon? Who is he...CPS...trying to make sure the kids are fed or what?

#3. All four of his questions were stupid and I miss Kathy Griffin asking the good stuff.

#4. Maybe Ryan would get more respect from Angie if he were true to himself and came out of the closet like a good little faggot gay should.

#5. Ryan is a douche and maybe Angie just wasn't in need of that Spring fresh feeling during the middle of the Winter okay. Not even in LA.

#6. POOR EVE! Get over yourself, you aren't that important, but you ARE that annoying.

Ryan’s co-host defended Angelina by saying that she has said in the past that she doesn’t really enjoy those type of events. To which Ryan responded, “Well then don’t go. Don’t go. Don’t go support your man. Don’t go.” Yeah, and then when she doesn't go, rumor mills like Ryan and E! spread it like wildfire that Angie and Brad are on the outs because she didn't come to the GG's with him. Get a f'ing brain Seacrest before I send Kathy Griffin to come kick your ass. [source]

Posh to Cruiseazy: "Keep your hands off my cash"

So, we all knew it would happen sooner or later...Tom Cruise would try to get his current man crush, David Beckham, to join his whacked out alien cult. Of course, Scientology sees David and Victoria as HUGE cash cows, and probably think that if they joined the cult that 10's of 20's of people would also follow suit and sign up to. Enter Posh. She is NOT having it, because she refuses to part ways with her husband's cash for anything other than the latest fashion trend in haute couture or "it" bag. Even though her reasons are totally motivated by greed, I applaud the bitch for just saying "Hell NO". For those not in the know, Scientology requires members to make large cash donations upon joining and to give a percentage of their income anually.

A source close to the Beckhams said: “Tom spoke to David for hours about Scientology. He feels it could help to lift him out of the blues over his football career, but Victoria is having none of it. She can’t see the point of joining something like that where you have to donate money.”

Why would anyone want to be a part of that hot mess? Furthermore, Tom Cruise should be less transparent about becoming friends with other rich celebrities, because we all know his motives to be friends with them these days is to recruit for his cult. He has clearly run out of people in Hollywood to brainwash, now he is moving across the pond and recruiting celebrities from abroad. PS, Posh my want to extend that to also read "Keep your hands off my man". Just so we keep it all fair. [source]

It's Cold Outside

So...Central Texas has been hit by a severe cold front and has completely iced over and all of Central Texas has shut down. I will be back to blogging tomorrow with pictures of the outside.

Um...lady looks like a dude

Fake weave...check.
Over the top dress...check.
Fake tits...check.
Uncomfy pose for the cameras because "her" dick is tucked securely away...check.

Beyonce looks like a damn tranny in that dress standing in that pose. NOT cute. "My mom styled me". Styled? LOL!!!!

Excuse Your Beauty?

LOL...there is a time and a place...this ain't it. Tranny, take it back to the AZ please.

Who is Mary Cherry? Part 3

I heart craigslist

I love a good run around Craigslist. Poor Bill...sounds like he has a stalker. You have ONE drink with someone and they call it love...

I miss you, Bill - m4m - 27

"Circumstances have torn us apart, but nothing -- nothing -- will ever make me stop loving you. You're the man for me ... no doubt. I love you so much, even after all we've been through lately, and it kills me that we're not still together. But, rest assured, I know we will be reunited one day. Then the unending pain will go away. A love like ours doesn't just come along every day. I love you, sweetie. More than you will ever know. And I miss you so much. Life hasn't been the same since the last time we laid eyes on each other. Take care of yourself. Hopefully we'll see each other soon. When that happens, I'm going to hug you and never, ever let you go."

Yeah...hi hun...just so's you know...Bill ain't coming back. Especially after, what you may have thought to be a romantic gesture but really makes you look like a crazed lunatic who can't let go. Good luck though.

Reunion: Cojo and The Ugly Stick

These are two people who should NOT be involved in the world of fashion in any way, shape, or form...especially not telling someone how to dress and not ridiculing how some people dress. Rachel Zoe, the one woman eating disorder encouragement posse, and Stephen Cojocaro the over the top momma hit me with an ugly stick screeching queen who should invest heavily in non-funhouse mirrors to look at before leaving the house.So...with that said...let's go ahead and dissect what they are wearing and how they look. We shall start with Cojo. I see he is still sporting the Chastity "I'm a lesbian" Bono look. Sad part is...Chas beat him to this look about 9 years ago. Sorry , Cojo, but you get the "Blast from the passssst" award tonight, heavy on the hisssssss, for your retro look. I bet the worst part of walking down the red carpet at any huge event is seeing this monster at the end of it with a microphone the size of the giant dildo he probably keeps hidden in his nightstand. I just grossed myself out. Meanwhile, Ms. Zoe is continuing her role as a stick broken off the tree. She is such a monster. Now I am understanding this reunion. She is the ugly stick that Cojo's mom used to beat him with. I need to know...are there NO stylists or fashion critics in Hollywood who can properly dress themselves before giving "tips" to their clients...or critics that can pass as a star and not some kind of clown before giving criticism? Then again, I guess the people that dress stars and critics can't look better than the stars, but why the hell not...I would, because I have what industry insiders call "IT", and I am glamoursly hard as nails and would look my best all the time. Now, I am getting off on a tangent...Ms. Zoe you almost got the award for "most recycleable" but that goes to Lindsay Lohan tonight...so you get the award of...actually you don't deserve an award. Please leave.

PS - For all of you that are aghast because I am making fun of Cojo even after his kidney surgery, then to you I say...that queen was NOT cute before the surgery and if anything he looks better now than pre-surgery manorexic.

The Not So News

- Dina Lohan skanked up Kobe Club with a little hand up the hiked up skirt but tried to cover it with a napkin action. Dina and a unknown man were going at it in a booth, when he realized people knew what was going on when he heard a collective dry heave from the entire place. A rep for Dina said, "That's a disgusting lie and it's completely untrue." Yes...who knew someone could make "third base" seem SO disgusting? Why does Dina need a rep? Isn't she Lindz's rep? Second...bitch knows it is true, because she is skank. This is doing nothing to help her chances with Clooney. [pagesix]

- Federline tries to squeeze as much money out of Britney as he possibly can...decides selling her his share of the kids for $50 million will guarantee she gets custody. She originally offered $10 million as a settlement. Dumbass should have taken that mess and run. Who sells their kids? Nevermind, don't answer that! [L&S]

- That Kim Cardash girl says there is no sex tape of her, others say there is a sex tape of her and she is profiting from it through a third party. Personally, I don't care about this ho because I don't even know who in the hell she is, and I don't really care, but then I read the description of the video: "It's your typical graphic sex tape...there's a golden shower at the end". A golden shower? WTF? Who does that...who likes to get pissed on...you know...other than Ricky Martin? I CANNOT for the life of me imagine getting pissed or shat on. NASTY slag. [nydailynews]

- How would you hold your People's Choice Award? [o&u]

Would you be interested?

I love craigslist's missed connections! They always make me laugh. Check 'em out.

You know what's a good diet? Gum.

From the claymation show Starveillance on E! Mary-Kate and Ashley shopping for an apartment. Funny stuff.

Who is Mary Cherry? Part 2

iPhone is unleashed

As many expected Steve Jobs introduced the world to the all new Apple iPhone at the CES in Las Vegas. Ooohs and Aaaahs were heard around the world. The iPhone merges a widescreen iPod, cellular phone, and internet communicator all in one, and that is just three of the gazillion things it can do. The exclusive carrier will be Cingular, and this made me very excited...as my contract has been up and I have been waiting for something cute to come out to renew. I was scrolling through live updates of the tech show and getting a hard on from everything I was hearing about this phone, I mean...just look at its seductive ass:

As I read, I got more and more excited. To be released June 2007..."hmm, okay, my phone battery stays on life support now, but maybe I can make it last until then". Then he throws the price up and my eyes go directly to $599 with a two year contract and I lose my boner. $599? For a phone? I know some people will be paying that much for this technological darling, but not Charlie. Not unless I get a mucho bucks paying job or win the lottery. NEXT! For more info and pictures click on the source link. [engadget]

5 Things I Want To See Less of in 2007

1. Louis Vuitton. I am SICK of seeing the LV monogram on everything from handbags and shoes to cars. It is something that used to be a coveted item and a status symbol, but now it is just tired and worn out like a $5 hooker or Lindsay Lohan and something you can pick up in any Chinatown in America...or even on Santa Monica Blvd in West Hollywood. Can't say I really ever jumped on the LV bandwagon, and I am glad I never did. FYI, there is no reason you should ever get an LV paint job...especially when the paing job costs more than the car is worth.

2. Ugg boots are hideous, they were never cute, and they were ever meant to be worn with shorts in the dead heat of the summer. They are lined for heat, and sweaty smelly Ugg feet cannot be a good thing. The worst part is that Ugg's are pretty much done in mainstream America and are just now showing up in small town and rural America as a new thing. I wish I could count on one hand the number of girls walking around my small hometown of 5,000 people that are wearing these dumbass boots. Come on girls...get it together. Find a Vogue magazine or even a Seventeen magazine at the local Wal-Mart and get a clue about how out they are.

3. Speaking of worn out hos, I would really like to see less and less of both Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton this year. Paris does NOTHING. She just parades around fluffing her hair and twirling around in her dress and gets paid. I would be lying if I said I wasn't a bit jealous. And who is this Kim Cardash she always has on her hip? Is she trying to make clones the new must have accessory of the season? Poor ole Lindsay looks like a worn out 50 year old hooker (aka her mother) and she isn't even legal to drink yet. Neither of these girls really contribute anything at all. Lindsay totally had potential at one point, but now I feel it is too late to save her soul, and I really couldn't care less either. Then again, I guess drugs and alcohol will do that to a person.

4. Crocs! I don't think much more needs to be said about this shoe or sandal or whatever the hell you want to call it. I HATE seeing people wearing these dumbass things at the mall, a nice dinner, at the grocery store, and at church. They are dumb and only nurses should wear them.

5. Good Morning America's Robin Roberts. This woman bugs the hell out of me so damn early in the morning. I watch GMA for a hopeful sighting of David Muir and I can't complain about Chris Cuomo, but damn Robin Roberts ups the geek level by one million percent, and then you get Diane Sawyer in the mix and she is like Peter Petrelli on Heroes...she absorbs Robin's dorkiness. She makes many attempts to be funny and cutesy, but NO. It is neither. Replace her immediately, because I don't like her.

Paris Runs out of gas

Ahhh...what can be said for this except I just lost 5 minutes of my life mesmerized for some bizarre reason. How dumb can you be. When my Grand Cherokee Limited gets low on gas a gas can light comes on and the car annoyingly beeps at me endlessly until I fill'er up. For some reason in my mind I hear a soft lady Bentley voice saying, "Paris you are low on gas. Please find a petroleum station soon." Of course she probably thought it was the car telling her she is loosing her buzz and needs to find a new club called Petroleum. Watch the video here if you have nothing else to do. It is kind of funny. My favorite parts are when she says, "I forgot to put gas in it" and when she looks at the change the razzi gives her and she just drops it in the back floorboard. ENOUGH! I should have a Bentley okaaaay. [splash]

Tigger is violent?

There is this dweeby nails on chalkboard voiced kid and his angry on the inside dad who are claiming Tigger punched the kid in the face. I don't thinks so...TIGGER would never punch in the face, he would bounce all over you on his tail. To me, it looks like Tigger was about to fall back over the rail and was trying to keep himself from falling, you be the judge.



Now...after hearing and seeing that kid, don't you want to punch him in the voicebox? I do. If Tigger did punch him...he probably deserved it. What is with that skater outfit?

Rosie fronts on Babs

Seems the Donald/Rosie fight may now have a 3rd contender, and will not be fizzling out anytime soon. This is good dish. I SO wish I could have been a fly on the wall, or the one doing one of these lady's makeup or hair.

THE tension between "The View" creator Barbara Walters and co-host Rosie O'Donnell, sparked by O'Donnell's feud with Donald Trump, boiled over yesterday morning when the portly comic called Walters "a [bleeping] liar."

The fight started around 8:30 a.m. when Walters, back from a two-week vacation, walked into the hair and makeup room at ABC studios and tried to hug O'Donnell, whom she hired onto the popular show. According to spies, O'Donnell recoiled from Walters' touch and yelled, "You kept me in the newspapers this whole time!"

Both "View" producer Bill Geddie and Walters tried to calm O'Donnell. Walters told her, "I did everything I could to squash the story" - prompting Rosie to scream, "You didn't call me for 10 goddamn days, and you didn't tell me what you were going to say on television!"

After O'Donnell's outburst at Walters yesterday, Geddie jumped in and told her, "You've crossed the line." O'Donnell retorted, "Cameras are now outside of my house where my wife and kids are." She turned to Walters and said, "You went all around this and never called [Trump] a liar. You never said, 'Donald is lying.' You never called him a liar." When Walters tried to defend herself, O'Donnell erupted, "Are you looking me in the face and denying you didn't tell him you didn't say this? You're a [bleeping] liar."

So, yeah, I think Barbara is totally in the wrong, because in this case she looks like a two faced bitch, and nobody likes a backstabbing two faced bitch. If she actually did say she regretted hiring Rosie, then she should have been more careful who she said it to, because Donald Trump is a fucking child and clearly has no problem using playground mean girl tactics when he clearly has no other way to defend himself. Also, Babs should be smart enough to know that saying something like that will ALWAYS find its way to publication. Dumbass. Good for Rosie for defending herself.
[pagesix]

Orlando is real like me.

Good ole Orldando Bloom, he is just like me...a mere mortal. First he goes swimming in the ocean or surfing in the ocean, does it really matter, and has to shoot a booger out his nose. I have had to do this many times at pool parties and at one of the many Splash events held at Austin's famed Hippie Hollow. Lake water in your nose is gross.

THEN, he decides to take a piss on the rocks. I have also done this NUMEROUS times at Hippie Hollow, because it is better to do it on the rocks than swim in it in the water, because the piss would probably end up in my nose causing snotty water boogers.

Third, we see him posing and/or fixing his hair. When I had hair I did this, only not as dramatically, because I have far less hair than he does, but I did it to flex and show off my fresh from the gym physique while standing on the rocks, sun glistening on my moist flesh.

Finally, we see him without his shirt on, and a towel wrapped around his waist. I have also done this at Hippie Hollow, but you can tell I go to the gym a hell of a lot more that Orly over here, and I don't really think those glasses are right for that shape of face and/or head. I'd still hit it though.

[flynet]

Do you know Mary Cherry?

Some of you have heard me reference a character named "Mary Cherry" on a cancelled tv show called Popular. Popular was written by the phenomenal Ryan Murphy, who is the mastermind behind Nip/Tuck. This is one of THE MOST genius characters I have ever witnessed on television. She is played to perfection by Leslie Grossman. Mary Cherry is a Texas transplant at Kennedy High who has an infinite amount of wealth and whose mother, Cherry Cherry, is played by Delta Burke. People cannot even imagine. To give you a hint at what she is all about someone has put together a bunch of clips to give you an idea...

Presenting Part 1:

Let's Pet Some Hair

This is mildly entertaining...

The Not So News

- Eva Longoria has been chosen as the new face for Bebe Sport. Um...what? Isn't Eva a tad bit old to be the face of that particular line of Bebe? Is she going to jump in a time machine and go back 15 years to make this happen? Next thing you know Abercrombie will be calling Mark Wahlberg back to do ads for them because they just LOVED what he did for Calvin Klein. [INO]

- You know...I think Jennifer Aniston has lost her mind. If she ever clutched her womb when a baby passes by her...or watched Mr. & Mrs. Smith for hours on end trying to find the exact moment Brad and Angelina became Brangelina. Personally, I think it was the scene where they end up naked on the floor in a sweaty heap. Then to top all of it off, the claim that she throws baby dolls into a bonfire on the beach to make herself feel better about the birth of Shiloh. Those babies weren't born from the Cabbage Patch for nothing. [idlyitw]

- Domenico Dolce does not pick up men...he points at them and has them brought to him. The venerable designer - one half of the Dolce & Gabbana clothing empire - was at Miami hot spot Snatch the other night with several friends and one special employee whose assignment was "to get hot guys in the club to go to his table," giggled our spy. "Domenico would point at a guy, and his employee would go bring the man over. It was extremely effective." Now, for the querstion of the mornting...If this happened to you and you were brought to Mr. Dolce...would you hit it? I mean...he is no Tom Ford and he kind of looks like the crazy guy on Lost that has Jack, Sawyer, and Kate as prisoners. I know a couple of you bitches would hit it for some free goods...so don't even try to lie. [pagesix]

Now You See Her, Now You Don't Nicole

"It pays not to eat"...

The Living Dead Lives and Breathes

I really don't know what to make of or what to say about this hot mess, except that I think I have found my Halloween costume for this year. I mean seriously...nothing can compare to a pastey skinned Kentucky Fried extra cripsy bleach blonde haired falling pop starlet zombie sporting Mary Kay Slut Red lisptick in a fitted trashbag. I would win all contests, because well...I deserve to win. Why would anyone leave a room looking this hit? She literally looks like night of the living dead with red lipstick. If I saw this walking in my direction I would either scream out that the dead had risen to take over the world or I would try to chop its head off before it feasted on my brains without even a second thought that it might be Britney Spears.

Seriously, why would anyone let her walk out a door looking like this? Where is her mother, where is her best gay friend, where oh where are SO many other people to stop this assault on my eyes? She has a gazillion dollars, there is no excuse for it. At this point I would even beg for Beyonce's momma to intervene with some Derriere fashions, 50 lbs of weave, and makesup. The worst part is her manager says he is aware of her current "bad image and is working to overcome it". Really? REALLY? How? If this is it...if he is going for the beat down and trodden white trash look...well I hate to say...that look is already taken by about half the population of my hometown and Joy on My Name is Early...although Joy is actually hot.

My major concern is that I will be taking pictures of people at Oilcan Harry's (in Austin) to make fun of later on this blog and I will take a picture of the hot mess from behind only to have her turn around and it be Ms. Spears...YIKES! It could happen!

photo credit: x17online

Time to go home ladies

I am guessing, at least for straight horny 16 year old and immature college boys, this is why camera phones were invented. To furthermore prove my point...listen to the jackasses and their "ooohs" and "aaahs" while these girls make out in the booth of a truckstop, at what is probably 3am.



If you can't see the video, go here.

The Not So News

- Dita Von Teese has filed for divorce from rocker Marilyn Manson, aka Brian Warner, citing irreconcilable differences. The sad part is she can't even get in touch with him to give him the news because he is unavailable and cannot be reached. "He's not been responsive," a friend said. "She loved him so much, but he has too many demons. He can't even communicate with her at this point. She tried to tell him she was divorcing him, but she can't even get him on the phone. She moved out of the house and he hasn't even noticed." I have to say that being in a relationship with someone who ignores you on all levels of communication is simultaneously the most irritating and heartbreaking things to deal with when you love someone, especially when you get to the point where you want to break things off and can't even do it like a normal person. I wish nothing but the best for Deta. No doubt she will bounce back. [pagesix]

- Tyra Banks is fat. I really don't think anymore needs to be said about this, except if she wants to tell girls how they should look, she should probably put the cakes and pies down and practice what she preaches. Yes, I know she is retired and all, but even still. Click on the pic for the full size. [egotastic]

-Britney's tired and "exhausted" ass is about to get dropped from her label, Jive Records. Like so many of us, they are tired of her hard partying nights full of booze, coke, and whatever else the girl is on these days. Seems her current album, that she has spent a few hours on, will never hit shelves because of subpar material and uncute tracks. Good for them. Something tells me that we are going to have a Mariah Carey-esque situation here. Puts out a record, it bombs, she falls even farther from grace, and then some saint comes and gives her a hand and she sells another gazillion records. Then again, Britney ain't no Mariah okaaay. Just a tip for her...find a gay to hang out with. A cute gay, because a gay man will never let a girl leave the house with her kooter showing, nor dressed as messily as she has been dressing.[pagesix]

- Speaking of Britney, her former bff Paris has been fired as spokeswoman for the clubs that were named after her by Fred Kahlilian. She was fired because she didn't show up for scheduled promotional appearances. Never fear, the clubs will be altered to have a Paris, France, theme instead. I wanna know one thing. Who in the HELL was going to these clubs with Paris' picture all over the place? Why would anyone go to a club based on Paris Hilton? I think a place that sells crabs would be more appropriate for a Paris Hilton themed venue. Also, who the hell is going to go to a club based on Paris, France? I mean...really. Can we get more original people? [pagesix]

- Seems Barbara Walters may have found a replacement for Star Jones in Sherri Sheperd. I am all for it. I love this woman. I watched her in Almost Perfect, and...well...that was all, but she is funny. She also talks about her cheating husband on the show and that she spanks her kids and will spank other peoples' kids if they are misbehavin' in her house. LOVE that! [jossip]

She NEVER should have said it.

Good ole Cammy D is quoted in her Harper's Bazaar interview as saying: "I DON'T know if these are beauty secrets, but what I do to feel my best is just exercise regularly, laugh and play often, and make love every moment I can. Oh, yeah, and lots of water." And now commentary by Charlie, brought to you by make of the following product:Now for my take: Oh Cammy...do you not remember this photo?
Or how about what everyone sees when they watch your mug in Hi-Def? Because sister girl...that ain't beauty...it is NOT. That is bad skin. The only beauty secrets you should be revealing are tons of MAC Cosmetics in your bathroom, entire jars of Vaseline slathered all over the lens, and the most sophisticated Photoshop EVER okay. Thank you and goodnight.

The Not So News

- Scarlett and Justin battle it out for top "diva" honors. [ino]

- Tara Reid uses new math to count down from 60 on New Year's Eve. Seriously...she missed like 30-39 and was 10 seconds ahead of the countdown...is that algebra? Dumb slag. [dlisted]

- Halle Berry might be pregnant with the baby of her supermodel boyfriend. Can you imagine what that child will look like? Hope he doesn't leave her because that would be really sad. [source]

Deep House Dish

Nintendo Wii games not arriving in stores soon

For some reason some people can't see the video. If you can't see the clip go here.

The Not So News

- Kristin Cavallari is doing her best to make ex-boyfriend Brody Jenner jealous with Nick Zano. How is this even relevant to anything? Why is anyone even talking about this Z-lister? She was on two seasons of Laguna Beach and has one of the most annoying voices EVER...right Jesskuh? Clearly a slow day at Page Six. [pagesix]

- Oprah Winfrey is "through" with inner city kids...as am I. Can we please bulldoze where they live and revitalize the hood? Oprah says: "I became so frustrated with visiting inner-city schools [in the U.S.]. If you ask the kids what they want or need, they will say an iPod or some sneakers. In South Africa, they don't ask for money or toys. They ask for uniforms so they can go to school." First off, do any inner city kids even own a computer to sync up their iPod? Seeing as how the library doesn't give those away...I think not. Secondly, what inner city school requires uniforms? Third, why not ask the teachers what they need to empower their students to do better? Come on...there are ways. [tmz]

- FINALLY, the ignunce that was Jessica and Nick is DONE! The two have finally agreed on a division of assets and have given ET something to talk about ALL week long as they try to unlock the sealed documents concerning all the deets. [usweekly]

Vanessa Minnillo Screws Herself

V. Min dropped the F-bomb on MTV's New Year Bash...LIVE! My ultimate plans for her to screw herself have finally come to pass. So I am guessing she not only is saying goodbye to 2006, but goodbye to her job as MTV Veejay and ET Correspondent. Although, I hope she didn't do this on purpose because she has something else in the works, because if I have to see anymore of her than the little I see her on MTV I will be dropping the F-bomb left and right.