The Not So News

- I am not a fan of Rachel Ray's, because I find her annoying and totally uncomfortable as a daytime "talk" show host. When she talks I fell like someone is draggin my eardrum across shards of glass. And "EVOO"? Isn't it just easier to say olive oil? Recently, at a book signing she got a tipsy when her and the crew went to eat, downing four big glasses of vino. After the beverages, Mrs. Ray began spewing her thoughts on Oprah, Brad Pitt, Jenn Aniston, and how she thinks Angelina Jolie is a "backdoor cunt". HEEEAYYYY! I love a woman not afraid to use the "C" word. I mean, I use it on a semi-daily basis. [tmz]

- Tom Cruise has been declared the "Christ" of Scientology for his work in spreading the religion east coast, west coast, worldwide. Now someone feed him the last supper while I get Madonna's mirrored glitter cross and you get the nails...OR how about we just burn him at the stake like they did with witches in Salem. I hope Posh has David's balls in a velvet box on her nightstand and carries them with her at all times, because otherwise I have a feeling Tommy boy is going to try go get his hands on them and convert good ole Davey pretty quick now that he is Jesus...which I can totally see happening if David can't even make a decision about his career on his own. [sun]

- Isaac Cohen, aka KFeds much cleaner twin, used to love Britney Spears so much that he dated a girl in high school that looked similar to her. [dlisted]

- Jennifer Lopez is in a last ditch effort to revive her career and has decided to turn her back on her Roman Catholic Religion and embrace the whacked out Alien Nation Religion of Scientology. I can't say that I am surprised that this has happened. She has been canoodling with all the high lords of Scientology and I didn't figure that it would be long before that Leah Remnants woman that is married to that fat guy on tv would use her magic troll dust to brainwash J.Lo and drag her ample ass to into a dark cave and body snatch her. I guess that is what happens when all you have going on these days is a semi-reality show on MTV used as a vehicle to reintroduce a bombed album and you are married to Skeletor's anorexic brother, or Tom Cruise has offered her a part in movie called "My Alien Mother is Coming to Dinner", based on one of Ron L. Hubbard's books, in which J. Lo will give a razzie award winning performance as the tormented daughter of a crotchety old alien who mated with a human and visits for the holidays. Sorry Stephen, but I had to say it. [IDLYITW]

- Hugh Hefner has decided to take a "pass" on Kelly Osbourne's offer to be his next centerfold. Simply put he said, "We don't airbrush to that extent". HAHAHAHAHA. What a dumb slag. Has she never found one of Ozzie's hidden Playboy's? Does she never seen or heard of "The Girls Next Door"? WAKE UP! [starpulse]

- JESUS!!!!! Will they just FIRE Isaiah Washington already? [dlisted]