The Not So News

- Dita Von Teese has filed for divorce from rocker Marilyn Manson, aka Brian Warner, citing irreconcilable differences. The sad part is she can't even get in touch with him to give him the news because he is unavailable and cannot be reached. "He's not been responsive," a friend said. "She loved him so much, but he has too many demons. He can't even communicate with her at this point. She tried to tell him she was divorcing him, but she can't even get him on the phone. She moved out of the house and he hasn't even noticed." I have to say that being in a relationship with someone who ignores you on all levels of communication is simultaneously the most irritating and heartbreaking things to deal with when you love someone, especially when you get to the point where you want to break things off and can't even do it like a normal person. I wish nothing but the best for Deta. No doubt she will bounce back. [pagesix]

- Tyra Banks is fat. I really don't think anymore needs to be said about this, except if she wants to tell girls how they should look, she should probably put the cakes and pies down and practice what she preaches. Yes, I know she is retired and all, but even still. Click on the pic for the full size. [egotastic]

-Britney's tired and "exhausted" ass is about to get dropped from her label, Jive Records. Like so many of us, they are tired of her hard partying nights full of booze, coke, and whatever else the girl is on these days. Seems her current album, that she has spent a few hours on, will never hit shelves because of subpar material and uncute tracks. Good for them. Something tells me that we are going to have a Mariah Carey-esque situation here. Puts out a record, it bombs, she falls even farther from grace, and then some saint comes and gives her a hand and she sells another gazillion records. Then again, Britney ain't no Mariah okaaay. Just a tip for her...find a gay to hang out with. A cute gay, because a gay man will never let a girl leave the house with her kooter showing, nor dressed as messily as she has been dressing.[pagesix]

- Speaking of Britney, her former bff Paris has been fired as spokeswoman for the clubs that were named after her by Fred Kahlilian. She was fired because she didn't show up for scheduled promotional appearances. Never fear, the clubs will be altered to have a Paris, France, theme instead. I wanna know one thing. Who in the HELL was going to these clubs with Paris' picture all over the place? Why would anyone go to a club based on Paris Hilton? I think a place that sells crabs would be more appropriate for a Paris Hilton themed venue. Also, who the hell is going to go to a club based on Paris, France? I mean...really. Can we get more original people? [pagesix]

- Seems Barbara Walters may have found a replacement for Star Jones in Sherri Sheperd. I am all for it. I love this woman. I watched her in Almost Perfect, and...well...that was all, but she is funny. She also talks about her cheating husband on the show and that she spanks her kids and will spank other peoples' kids if they are misbehavin' in her house. LOVE that! [jossip]