Maybe it is depression

I am sitting in my cube on this lovely Sunday. It is end-of-month closeout and someone from IT has to be available to fix the problems the little ones may find themselves dealing with...thought that was their job...but I guess I am wrong. Luckily, most of them have the talent to fix the problems without having a freak out and losing their mind. At any rate, I am staring at the computer screen, with a stopped up sinus cavity that is starting to hurt like it is getting an infection, and reading this blog that I was an avid fan of until the author took a long hiatus. I recently rediscovered it and have been going over his words, and thinking...I wish I could write like that. Shades of Gray is quite the journey and I have a hard time putting it down once I start. It is also one of those blogs that I can go back and read again and again. At any rate, I am starting to digress. I have been in this neither her nor there state of mind lately. More of the same, to which I am sure none of you wants to hear about. As of Thursday, that has all ended...for good this time. It is all pretty sad and stupid if you ask me...his reasons, but they are his reasons and nothing is going to change his mind. I guess it just reinforces that you learn what it is that you want, what you are willing to put up with, and when you are not willing to sacrifice those things that you need. Alas, I think it best that I go ahead and call myself out of the game after strike three. I am not closing up shop permanently by any means, but I think that for me right now...not loving = not hurting, and not hurting would be a welcome state of mind right now. UGH...why do I have to have a sinus headache?!?!?!?