All Bald Up With No Place To Go

Making NO apologies for stating what is obvious to me, but may be oblivious to others.

Thursday, December 28, 2006

My Opinion: The Holiday

This weekend...actually, this past Tuesday was a holiday for me. So on my holiday I decided to see "The Holiday". This movie gets about 2 of 5 stars. The only reason I didn't give it 4 was because I feel like Cameron Diaz's role in this film was unnecessary and because of the haggard bitch that was sitting next to me in the theatre who tried to cop attitude with me because I had my Banana Republic and Express Men shopping bags in the seat next to me as opposed to sitting in the fresh puddle of Coca Cola that was flowing under my seat. Well, I will say that I read her after I huffed about moving my bag. She tells me "you can put that on the floor". I replied..."Hun, I wouldn't let my dog walk barefoot on this nasty floor, but please feel free to put your $5 White Stag handbag down there." Anyway back to Cammy D, I get that she HAD to be there because of the house swapping thing, but I really could have done without it at all. Her character was just SO...I dunno...something. And add to her annoying character the stupid movie guy voice overs, btw she was a movie trailer producer...hence the lame voice. Kate Winslet's character was TOTALLY relatable to me. I think many of us have all been where her character was. Actually, I think everyone has been in that situation where you are SO in love with someone, but at the same time they kind of lead you to think they love you but in reality they don't but they like to keep you hanging on. I cried a couple of times during Kate's scenes. I love Kate. Anyway, I recommend seeing this movie if you don't completely hate Cammy D and you have more than 2 hours to kill, because this movie is LONG. And also, I didn't really get the casting of Jack Black in this movie, but I got it after it was over...and it works. Oddly enough, I also found myself relating to Jack's character too, because I am the not hot goofy nerdy dorky guy who doesn't get a second look but will always get a laugh.

The Not So News

- Lindsay Blohan made a trip to Scores to do some stage bumping and grinding with some of the strippers and later took them in the bathroom to apologize for calling them whores and then offerred them lines of coke as a peace offering, because who takes a group of people into a bathroom stall JUST to apologize to them...NOONE! Personally, I am tired of seeing this girl everywhere and I am not going to talk about her anymore. [pagesix]

- Kathy Griffin and I share yet another thing in common...not only do we love gay men, we have a mutual hatred of Patty Heaton. Kathy was quoted as saying..."I used to think Patricia Heaton was funny, but now I'm just grossed out by her! The whole gay issue, I gotta tell you - when I hear Patricia talking her bull---- and saying it's not in the Bible that gay people should be together - those are the pieces of information that I can't forget about. Patty Heaton has the gayest makeup person you've ever seen," Kathy told the audience. "I can't get beyond it. It's the hypocrisy." The article goes on to say that people in the audience were shocked. REALLY?!?!? They were shocked? Do they not watch tv or read magazines? Patty Heaton has not been hiding her bible beating opinion since she has been out of work. Most people take up knitting or crafts when they retire, but I guess some people take up hate. And may I please add that these stupid celebrities that have this opinion about gay people but have NO problem hiring them and even request them to do their hair and makeup. BITCH please![source]

- Britney continued her hard partying ways recently by hitting Le Deux and drinking herself into an oblivion and the barfing sushi all over the place. Girl, if you can't control your liquor you best keep your ass out of the bar. Even I have the ability to hold my mess for a 25 minute cab ride of ups, downs, and potholes. [source]

- Paris Hilton thinks she would be a good mother because she has so many animals. As much as I would like to agree with her in that kids are like animals...even I know and acknowledge (despite my ever present loathing of children) that children, even the most horribly behaved children are not, in fact, like animals. Paris Hilton is a dumbass. [source]

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

YouTube for your Consideration

I will start posting snarky stuff tomorrow, when I get my holiday pictures transferred to my computer. I will alos review "The Holiday". Meanwhile, here are some YouTube things for your pleasure.

Tranny McGuyver...dunno why McGuyver...it should be more like CHiPs or something.
and here is a sultry little diddy from a lady that looks like a tranny (but isn't) who doesn't want to go to rehab...no no no. Amy Winehouse singing 'Rehab'.

Friday, December 22, 2006

Merry Christmas!

Sorry for the lack of posts the past couple of days, but I have been completely lazy and haven't felt like posting anything. I hope all my friends, family, and readers have a fantastic Christmas and I hope Santa brings you everything you want.

Love,
Charlie

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

The Not So News

- Patty Heaton's son doesn't talk to her, goes to a school where kids get stabbed, might be gay, and will one day loathe and despise his mother for snooping in his email and phone records to know what is going on in his life and because she can't keep her trap shut. Can someone please fill her mouth with cement? Didn't this dumb bitch used to do PSA's about "talking to your kids"? If you can't practice, don't preach...because lady girl it isn't as easy as you thought it would be is it? I hope he does turn out to be gay, seeing as she is known as a fag hater. [source]

- The party don't stop for young Hollywood at 2am. They just go back to Lindsay Lohan's suite at the Chateau and hoover up line after line of cocaine mixed with their favorite Rx meds. [cityrag]

- The 12 days of 2006...have a gander at this funny video. [source]

More Than Meets The Eye

Star Jones admits what we already know...

That she is a big ole bitch. In an interview with People reports that Star says: "I've earned that diva image. It's not something that I can hide from," she tells TV's Extra in an interview set to air Tuesday. "I admit sometimes I have enjoyed the celebrity more than I should have. It was well-earned, but it's softened now."

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
Okay...what?!?!?!? She has earned the diva image? How is that? She was in an ensemble cast for The View. It was not the Star Jones Show. The only title she should be given is that of ingrateful swag grabbing ho. The only people who have earned the title of diva are Celine Dion, Oprah, Mariah Carey, Whitney Houston, and a few choice others. THEY have earned it. There is a difference between being a diva and acting the way you think a diva acts. All Star did was sit on a panel of four women, spew her "I'm a lawyer" speak, get fired, and is now hosting a show on a radio station because nobody in the television business will hire her ass because she got herself blacklisted and they are afraid of the hell fire that will rain down from Barbara Walters. OH and she is married to a man who may or may not be a homo/woman. Time to reassess the definition of "diva", take a look at the behavior displayed and the employment held by a real "diva" and then model your behavior accordingly. LOL, Star Jones...Diva I think not. [people]

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

The Not So News

- Aaron Carter has fallen madly in love with singer Kaci Brown...and only after one week. "Now I'm in a great relationship. I've only known her for, like, seven days, but I have a connection with her that's like nothing else I've ever experienced." At the rate this kid goes he should be engaged by Christmas. To add to that...and topping off his lovestruck interview, Carter was asked what Kaci's friend had given him for his birthday, and the Carter bro responded, "She got me love." Yes...that was the sound of me barfing in my trashcan. I have a quandry though...what attracts girls to these gaunt face crystal addicted boys? He should probably spend less time trying to get with any piece of ass that walks by and get his ass to the dermy to get that acnefied and scarred up face peeled off pronto because he is clearly wearing more makeup than she is. Furthermore, if love is wrong then please give me all A's because I am more than happy being right all the time. [tmz]

- Miss USA has not been FIRED by the Donald for being a lady lip locking kooter munching, man hunting, drunken, hypocrite coke whore with an aversion to excessive partying like she is Lindsay Lohan. I totally thought she would be different from every other 20 year old girl who idolizes talentless celebutards, but I was wrong. Instead, she has agreed to go into rehab, and I think this is a huge publicity stunt for the Donald organization, because he clearly saw how much Kate Moss banked after her scandal. Feel free to watch her perform her appreciation here. Rumor has it the Hollywood Foreign Press has taken back Beyonce's nomination and replaced her with Tara. Hot girls can do anything. She could probably drop kick my mom's pug and people would be like...wow, what kind of workout do you do to keep your legs in such good shape? [tmz]

- Sharon Stone and Christian Slater have found love in each other. Good for them I guess. [source]

- Halle Barry is apparently releasing an album of music. She is quoted in Ebony magazine saying...“I’ve always loved to sing and this album will show people that I can do more than act.” What is wrong with these Hollywood people? Why do you need to show people that you can do more than act? What is wrong with just being an Oscar winning actress who is model gorgeous? I mean really...if it were me, I would be taking that statue with me to get mani's and pedi's while I walked around with my model boyfriend as he carried all my shopping bags. Why do you have to fill our ears with more squaking strangled cat music? Lindsay Lohan did this same thing and proved that she could, in fact, NOT sing (as have many others). This is highly unanticipated for me...theenks. [justjared]

Lexus not that smart

So apparently the new Lexus LS460 isn't as good at parking as Lexus would have you believe.

Monday, December 18, 2006

The Not So News

- Beyonce gets shut down by yet ANOTHER bad review of her performance in Dreamgirls, while Ms. Jennifer Hudson gets raves! USA Today says:

The weakest link is the stunning Knowles. The camera clearly loves her, and her singing is not in contention, but as an actress, she has a vapid quality. Despite the array of dazzling fashion ensembles, and the effort to channel Diana Ross, her performance remains one-note, particularly in contrast to Hudson's nuanced portrayal.

You are the weakest link...GOODBYE. I couldn't be happier for Jennifer Hudson. Clearly a talent and proving her loss on American Idol is not going to stop her. I feel sorry for Beyonce, but only because of all the hissy fits that her and her daddy keep throwing because she can't act which make them look totally childish. I mean...how big of a bitch and how much ego can a person have when they refuse to be photographed with someone with more talent? The world does not revolve around Beyonce, and don't they know fame is fleeting. One day people love you, the next someone more talented comes along.

All I want for Christmas is...

Friday, December 15, 2006

The Not So News

- Oprah is moving to primetime in two reality shows that she has sold to ABC. "The first project, dubbed "Oprah Winfrey's The Big Give," has an eight-episode order from ABC. The series follows a group of 10 people who will be handed money and resources -- and then challenged to find dramatic and emotional ways to use the coin to help others.The contestant field will be winnowed down each week, with the winner getting his or her wildest wish granted. The second is titled "Your Money or Your Life." Each self-contained episode will focus on a family facing a crisis.An "action team" will move in and give the family a total money and life makeover." So yeah basically they will probably be boring seeing as how there is no humiliation and people doing anything for money, but people will tune in for the Oprah factor and the warm fuzzies they will get from people being helped. I can't help but think that some backstabbing might happen anyway. Can you imagine...backstabbing while doing charity work? One can only hope! [source]

- Bridget Moynahan (aka Natasha) and Tom Brady have called it quits. People reports "(They) amicably ended their three-year relationship several weeks ago. We ask for your respect and consideration of their privacy. No further comments will be made." I dozed off for a second while reading this, because 1) I had no idea they were dating, 2) did anyone besides the two of them know they were dating?, 3) Does anyone care enough about the two of them to ask for more comments to be made? [people]

- Matthew McConaughey gets his clothes on and looks pretty damn hot in the process. I am always sort of on the fence about his look, but DAMN DAMN DAMN. Click the pic for a larger view. [people]

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Are you gonna eat that?

Um...I know it is your birthday and stuff, but you might want to rethink that cupcake okaaay.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

The Not So News

- Beyonce not only promotes Dreamgirls, but she is also on the bandwagon promoting Multiple Personality Disorder, giving props and support to her alter-ego "Sasha". Sasha? Really? Couldn't she have come up with a cuter name? She describes her as "too sassy, too sexy, too aggressive, and too strong". Hell, all you need to do is add super human strength and Sasha is just like alter ego "Jessica" on Heroes. Can we be more original please, and can Sasha have smaller thighs? I guess that would also explain why she says she is 25 instead of her actual age of 32. Thanks. [pagesix]

- Kelly Clarkson is hard core...TP'ing Evanescence's Amy Lee's house. GOTTA LOVE HER! Who knew she was capable of such acts of vandalism?

Monday, December 11, 2006

Um...what?

I mean...really. Can someone tell me what the hell is going on in these pictures? The only thing I can think of is that they are letting their crabs visit each other, as long as they are back in their respective kooters by 2am. Either that, or there is some serious incestuous lesbian action going on inside that mirrored limo. YUCK!

Paris looks like she has man feet in this picture. Her feet look like they are a size 12.

Seriously, what must Kathy Hilton be thinking when she sees images like this? If I were their mother, well, I would make Nicky dye her hair red again and beat her like she was a step child. Paris has enough problems with all the STD's and stuff. At any rate, I just threw up a lotta bit in my mouth.[notw]

Wind It Up and throw that bitch out

I have had ENOUGH of this song. Someone please kill it, kill it DEAD! I am just waiting with baited breath for the gay ass remix to pop out.

Kitchendales

Cheesy name for this cooking show out of France, but who cares what it is called? Wesley is my favorite, he is kinda dreamy. WARNING: This is probably not suitable for work for some of you...as they run around shirtless, there is a massage to go along with kneading the dough, and a shower scene at the end.



The Not So News

- Dakota Fanning on the rape scene in her as of yet untitled, soon to be released movie: it's "wonderful". Enough said. [pagesix]

- Nicole Richie was arrested for DUI of vicodin and marijuana early this morning. Did she learn NOTHING from Paris? HELLO! BTW, she is officially 5'1" and weighs a hefty 85 lbs, and her mugshot makes her look like she is 12. I guess we all know what ET will be talking about ALL week long. Thanks Nicoloe![TMZ]

- Asian-Americans are mad at Rosie O'Donnell for trying to speak their language. She made the comment "ching ching chong ching chong Danny Devito ching chong chong" when referring to The View's interview with a clearly drunken Danny making international news headlines. You know what? Who the hell cares. She was making a point and can't speak Chinese. I mean, my friend Idalia doesn't get mad when I yell spanish at her by adding "o" to the endo ofo everyo wordo thato I sayo and thinking the louder I say it the better she can understand what I am saying, but I guess not everyone is as understanding as Idalia. [dlisted]

Friday, December 08, 2006

The Price is SO Right!

Okay, kiddies, I am back from my fantastic time in LA, and my friends and I got on The Price is Right. My new friend Adam got into contestants row and made it to the showcase showdown. All I have to say is...this trip has been the best vacation I have had in my entire life. It was a blast from beginning to end and even though Adam lost by $400 to some silly fag who fake proposed to his hag in front of everyone while we were waiting to get in, I would NOT change a thing. I will also say that if anyone is planning on doing this, get plenty of rest the night before, bring patience, and go in a group of at least seven. Seven seemed to be our lucky number the time we were there. Our episode airs on January 23, 2007. TIVO it bitches! While there we ate at some swanky and delicious places, we saw some celebrities and semi-celebrities that included:

Fitness Model: Rusty Joiner @ The Abbey

Yes, he is hot, but not as hot in person as he looks in his pictures. He looks extremely dashing in a suit though.


Autumn Reeser: "Taylor Townsend" on The OC:
Witnessed her at The Ivy while we were dining and again at The Grove after we finished The Price is Right on Monday. She is gorgeous in real life.



Robert Best: Project Runway

Posts will resume on Monday, and I will not be talking about what happened in the world on the days I was gone, except the fact that Reichen and Lance broke up...anyone that didn't see that mess coming is stupid. I am not even going to dignify the breakup by putting a picture of them up here okaaaay.

Friday, December 01, 2006

No posts today

I am leaving for a mini vacation on Sunday and there will be no posts starting today thru next wednesday...unless I get a minute to find a wireless connection. Me and some friends are heading to sunny Los Angeles to see if your asses can get on:

We have tickets to three tapings, so we are hoping our chances will be pretty good. My flight leaves Sunday morning and we fly back on Wednesday. Hollywood here we come. Maybe I can get discovered while I am out there. Before I go, feel free to read this little diddy about Lindsay Lohan and her semi-meltdown at the GQ Men of the Year Party, and how Will Ferrell couldn't have described everyone's feelings about Lindz..."Who cares about that freak anymore, anyway?" NIIIIIIICE! [pagesix]