The Not So News

- Aaron Carter has fallen madly in love with singer Kaci Brown...and only after one week. "Now I'm in a great relationship. I've only known her for, like, seven days, but I have a connection with her that's like nothing else I've ever experienced." At the rate this kid goes he should be engaged by Christmas. To add to that...and topping off his lovestruck interview, Carter was asked what Kaci's friend had given him for his birthday, and the Carter bro responded, "She got me love." Yes...that was the sound of me barfing in my trashcan. I have a quandry though...what attracts girls to these gaunt face crystal addicted boys? He should probably spend less time trying to get with any piece of ass that walks by and get his ass to the dermy to get that acnefied and scarred up face peeled off pronto because he is clearly wearing more makeup than she is. Furthermore, if love is wrong then please give me all A's because I am more than happy being right all the time. [tmz]

- Miss USA has not been FIRED by the Donald for being a lady lip locking kooter munching, man hunting, drunken, hypocrite coke whore with an aversion to excessive partying like she is Lindsay Lohan. I totally thought she would be different from every other 20 year old girl who idolizes talentless celebutards, but I was wrong. Instead, she has agreed to go into rehab, and I think this is a huge publicity stunt for the Donald organization, because he clearly saw how much Kate Moss banked after her scandal. Feel free to watch her perform her appreciation here. Rumor has it the Hollywood Foreign Press has taken back Beyonce's nomination and replaced her with Tara. Hot girls can do anything. She could probably drop kick my mom's pug and people would be like...wow, what kind of workout do you do to keep your legs in such good shape? [tmz]

- Sharon Stone and Christian Slater have found love in each other. Good for them I guess. [source]

- Halle Barry is apparently releasing an album of music. She is quoted in Ebony magazine saying...“I’ve always loved to sing and this album will show people that I can do more than act.” What is wrong with these Hollywood people? Why do you need to show people that you can do more than act? What is wrong with just being an Oscar winning actress who is model gorgeous? I mean really...if it were me, I would be taking that statue with me to get mani's and pedi's while I walked around with my model boyfriend as he carried all my shopping bags. Why do you have to fill our ears with more squaking strangled cat music? Lindsay Lohan did this same thing and proved that she could, in fact, NOT sing (as have many others). This is highly unanticipated for me...theenks. [justjared]