Britney, I have something to tell you...

What in gay hell? Lance Bass has decided to let the world know that Britney was the first person he came out to because he "felt bad for her". How sweet of him...a pity outing at the dawn of her apocalyptic meltdown that he is, no doubt, mentioning now to get some headlines off of Britney's name. Maybe that is what made the bitch teeter totter right over the edge. I am sure she had a hard time believing it because he is so masculine. He tells GQ...

"It was the night of her first wedding, actually. I was in Vegas with her, her dancers, her manager, and my boyfriend at the time . . . Her manager had already gotten rid of [her first husband] Jason [Alexander] - they'd flown him home. Britney was upset about what she had done. I felt bad for her. I knew she was about to go through a lot of crap. I felt the need to share something. So I sat her on my bed, and I'm like, Well, I'm gay!" Spears was "surprised. I was always the Southern gentleman."

I mean...really? Is being gay that much worse than marrying some random white trash high school boyfriend from the backwoods...somehow it isn't even really on the same level. Way to help her put things in perspective Lance. It is a whole nutha level. Meanwhile, back to the present, Britney and Lance no longer speak despite their being next door neighbors, which I can only imagine she lives like four miles down the street and around the corner. Another bizarre comment he made was that he and Marc Anthony used to be bff's too. WTF is that? Why would anyone be friends with the model used to make so many high school biology class skeletons? I know that Biology money is good, but it is still creepy. I thought about comparing Marc to He-Man's Skeletor, but Skeletor had a rocking body and Marc Anthony has the opposite of a hot body...unless you are into 50 year old twink body. Like I said...creepy. [PageSix]