Lamest costume?

Is Chris Klein wearing the lamest costume ever or has he picked up a shift handing out flyers at the local Gatti Town?

OH NO he diin't

I just have one thing to say to good ole Danny B. PUT YOUR DAMN CLOTHES BACK ON BECAUSE NOBODY...I repeat, NOBODY WANTS TO SEE THAT OKAAAAY.


Secondly, who would coordinate an event that would allow such a heinous act on the American Public's eye sight to ever occur?

DONE and DONE!

TMZ is reporting that Reese Witherspoon and husband Ryan Phillipe have called it quits.

Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe have separated. The couple's rep released a statement to TMZ Monday morning that says "We are saddened to announce that Reese & Ryan have decided to formally separate. They remain committed to their family and we ask that you please respect their privacy and the safety of their children at this time."

I don't really have words, but I guess even the perfect looking Hollywood couple doesn't have it so perfect. I also don't know that I really care about this story either. Hmmm...yeah...I don't really care at all...unless there is some lurid scandal behind all the curtains.

Brooke Hogan likes to keep up appearances

And I mean...really...who doesn't? This is from Page Six this past weekend:

HULK Hogan's daughter wants people to think she's a big spender. In town promoting her debut album, "Undiscovered," Brooke Hogan waltzed into the LF store on Fifth Avenue with her wrestler dad and a Teen People camera crew shooting their every move. She spent 90 minutes trying on clothes with clerks eventually ringing up $900 of merchandise. Minutes after everyone left, a Hogan flack came back in without cameras to return it all, moaning, "We didn't actually think you were going to charge her!" Brooke's flack told us, "When she got to her car she realized she'd overspent, but she did keep a bag and a necklace."

You know, if you are going to keep up appearances like that, you might want to have someone from your camp return the stuff on another day...not like 5 minutes after you purchased it okaaaaay. Secondly, Brooke Hogan isn't a big enough star, if you can even consider her a star at all, to be getting free shizz or to expect free shizz from anyone except the network that has her family's reality show, and I think all she deserves is a Christmas ham. [pagesix]

Happy Halloween Bitches

Me & Brandon (as Marilyn) Me, Joe Lee, & Bob
Frank as his grandma
Daniel as a pregnant Britney
Matt you are Hell's Next Top Demon Mark & Curt

Me, Paul, & John H
Me & the young Pharaoh
Mark, Me, & David

Me & Jason
Me & Scarey Clown Jon

The Not So News:

- When will Kevin Federline realize that NOBODY cares!?!?!?!? [pagesix]

- Paris can't get a Seventeen cover unless she appears in a PSA ad against drunk driving. [pagesix]

- Everybody Loves Raymond's Patricia Heaton has come out swinging against Michael J. Fox's stem cell research political ads. Um...does anyone care what Patty H has to say anymore? She not on tv and the only thing she has done lately is act like she shops at Albertson's in their commercials. [jch]

- Tyra might be getting too fat to be able to tell girls how they should look. The CW has put her on alert that she needs to slim down or she could be replaced on ANTM. Word to that, because girl looks like a f'ing amazon next to all the modely contenders.[mediatakeout]

The Not So News

- Carmen Electra gets her own credit card. Is it anything like American Express Black, and do I have to put a deposit down on it, and is there anything celebrities won't do for money? [yeeeah]

- Lindsay Lohan seems to think you can catch a british accent like it is VD. Sorry hun, but the only one that we barely tolerate a fake accent from is Madonna and she still gets made fun of. Now, Gwenyth Paltrow can throw down a mean accent. [egotastic]

- Jessy Simpson loves the anonymity of dating on the internet. She has become addicted to cruising around myspace allegedly looking for dates. She is a little bit behind, because people have been doing that crap for years...and sister girl, lemme tell you...the internet is NO place to find a date. Hookups yes...as several of my friends will testify, but beyond that...no no no. Although, how many guys would flip out when Jessica Simpson shows up on a date. [egotatstic]
That's all I got time for today kids!

Rachel Zoe Fug Stylist of the stars

I DO NOT and probably WILL NEVER understand why the young starlets in Hollywood insist on using this woman's services, because she is RUINING all of them. Bitch can't even dress herself. It looks like Halloween pranks came early this year when some teenagers thought it woudl be a good idea to toilet paper Rachel Zoe instead of the trees. Although she DOES seem to be ready for Halloween...what with the crazy orange glowing contacts and the wrinkly witch faced mask she is wearing to the party. Although, I don't know think "The Fashion Group International Presents the 23rd Annual Night of Stars Honoring 'The Visionaries'" is the right venue to wear this costume. What...that is her real face? AAAAARRRRGGHHHH! That is some scary shit. Did she unknowingly put her boobs into some kids Pumpkin candy holder, with the misguided notion that lace would make it seem like her bosoms were more ample, because...no. And don't even get me started on Mischa Barton's poor choice in attire. Bitch can never dress herself. Leggings do not make a dress cute okaaaay. Nor do stripper shoes. She looks like she is wearing something that Annie Potts was wearing in Pretty in Pink (last Annie Potts PIP reference today). It is sad...like Kyndra from Laguna Beach says...I hate when people with money don't have taste. Alas Kyndra, the two do not always go hand in hand. Just like some gay men have no sense of style either.

Designing Women

That ladies the gays will always remember as "Designing Women" got together at the Museum of Television and Radio for a Q&A, which I believe will be broadcast at some point...check your local listings. They all still look amazing...well...almost amazing. Annie Potts is dressing like she is still waiting to do the sequel to "Pretty in Pink", only she left her shoulder padded blazer at home. Dixie Carter's face looks like it was pulled back by a tow truck. The body lenght dress is not really that cute on Delta, and Jean could possibly be sporting a slight camel toe that would probably be blatant if she were wearing different pants. Kudos Candy Bar to all of them nonetheless.

Kellie Pickler

I remained unimpressed with this hodown roller skatin' Sonic employee, and I am aghast as to why she has a video and is coming out with an album. This is EXACTLY why the bitch did not win American Idol. Clearly some producer didn't realize America tried to banish this bitch from ever being able to create a record because WE DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT. The only thing she had going for her was the fact that Simon Cowell wanted to bone her. Make sure you have more than your hands to cover your ears...her unharmonious voice pierced my flesh and bones shattering my eardrums into a million little pieces, so I am thinking...use something synthetic and manmade.

David Banda is like a Louis Vuitton

Sharon Osbourne has opened her heinous mouth to give her opinion about Madonna's adoption of lil' David Banda. Why? I don't know. Who asked? I don't know. All I know is that she is ignunt. I have nothing against Sharon, and truth be told she IS my favorite Osbourne, but really...zip the lip. When asked her opinion on The Howard Stern show:

“It’s a crock of shit. If she wants to help the kid she should have got the father a little trade going, a fruit stand or something like that and built him a mud hut. If the kid is sick then get him a doctor, what was the father supposed to do, he can’t read or write. She should have left him in his own culture, that is what I say. Madonna should have given the money to an orphanage, got them a 24-hour paramedic. She bought a baby for God’s sake. It’s like getting a Louis Vuitton handbag.”

First off...DO NOT compare this cute as a button little kid to a Louis Vuitton. At least do him the courtesy and compare him to Fendi. I know all my black girlfriends fall all over a Fendi before they would a Louis. Second, and like D-listed has pointed out, what in the hell has she done for anyone other than herself or her own children? What has she done to help out the other poor unfotunate kids, like me, of the world who have NOTHING? She has not done a thing. Meanwhile, Madonna has jumped on the Jolie-Pitt bandwagon and is using her celebrity to help a kid out. Only the difference with Madonna is she kept quiet about it until the process was almost complete, unlike the Jolie-Pitts who have to make a complete spectacle of themselves everytime they need to drum up some publicity just to know they are still worth talking about. [dlisted]

Oprah Talks to Madonna

All In A Day's Work

I don't know of any readers recall my story about Farris Davis, the inbred black lady that once visited my office to ask me for money. Well, she was back yesterday and she brought her removable leg cast with her. It was an unusually busy day for me yesterday and I was in the middle of multitasking when she walked in. The conversation went like this:

Farris: Hi my friend...Charlie...how's you doin?
Charlie: Hi Farris, I am good, how about you?
Farris: I am good...ain't you even gonna look up at me?
Charlie: I'm sorry Farris it has been a really busy day today and I am getting some things finished up.
Farris: Oh okay. Yeah.
I look at her and she has a cast on, which is what she wanted me to see.
Charlie: What happened to your....
Farris: The Holy Ghost.
Charlie: leg? (I can just imagine the shock on my face was like because I immediately stopped doing everything I was doing and twisted my head to look at her)
Farris: I had the spirit in me and that did it to me.
Charlie: I didn't know Tonya Harding went to your church.
Farris: No, I ain't seen her. I had the Holy Ghost in me and I fell back and none of them menz caught me, and I chipped that cap in my knee.
Charlie: Oh...that's too bad. Does it hurt? Are you going to have to have surgery?
Farris: Um...well, I have to get one of those Mr. I's did so that they can tell me if I have to have surgery or not.
Charlie: ????? You mean an MRI? MRI?
Farris: Oh yes...one of those. Say has your momma told you that I been telling you hi when I see her?
Charlie: Yes, she has told me.
Farris: Say, Chawlie...you got a couple dollars I can have?
Charlie: No Farris...I don't even have my wallet with me.
Farris: Oh, okay well I guess I am gonna go visit my sistuh. She is the nursing home...she been there about 7 months. Okay Chawlie...it was good to see you, but I needs to go.
She left my office and that was that. BTW, I bet none of you knew that Tonya Harding was the Holy Ghost...WHAP!

Ivanka's Boob Problem

Okay, I know I am gay and all, but I know what breasts are supposed to look like...and this ain't it. Something is just not right about her right boob. Did it get stung by a bee?

If that is the work of a doctor, I hope she kept her receipts. [egotastic]

Heather Mills moves like a Gazelle

Kate Moss has come out swinging saying that Heather Mills is a f'ing liar about one of the allegations she is making these days. Heather Mills is currently suing two tabloids for writing false stories about her. Heather reportedly claimed that Paul McCartney refused to let her have a bedpan near their bed, so she had to crawl to the toilet in the middle of the night with out her fake limb when she had to take a piss. A friend to Kate Moss said:

“Kate reassured Stella that she knew Heather was a liar because she had seen her hopping around. She said she was ‘jumping around like a fucking gazelle’ and is prepared to swear to it, in court if necessary.”

I mean...really?!?!?!? Hopping around? A gazelle? A fucking gazelle at that! LOL!!!!! Kate Moss is my hero today and she totally gets a Kudos Candy Bar for that remark and being politically incorrect twice in the same sentence. [thesun]

The Not So News 10/25/2006

- Babs has raised her diva demands to include bomb sniffing dogs and metal detectors at all her concerts for the rest of her tour. She has also requested that security be dressed in plain clothes...and neatly at that...not unlike loss prevention at Wal-Mart. I mean...if she is afraid someone is gonna kill her for her opinion about George W, then she should just keep her big yap shut. I just hope someone doesn't sneak in and hide a bomb in her right nostril. [pagesix]

- Gwen Stefani's new single, Wind It Up, has been leaked on the net, and for a lack of better words, it made me throw up a little bit in my mouth. And to clarify, I didn't throw up because it was so good. It was actually...the opposite of good, with all the yodaling in the beginning and the mish mash of sound. It kind of sounds like Fergie gone much more horribly wrong than she did with her album. If the rest of Gwen's album is like the first single, then I hope she doesn't get all huffy with MTV again this year when she is nominated for NOTHING. Get back with No Doubt already and drop this solo act already. Her album is supposed to drop December 5.

- Elizabeth Hassenback gets raped twice and murdered on Law & Order: SVU, and The View's Elisabeth Hasselback believes it refers to her and takes offense and feels traumatized by the episode. You know what...FINALLY someone in the entertainment industry has let their feelings be known about that dumbass. Granted, being raped twice and then murdered is probably a bit extreme, but what are you gonna do. She has now made it clear that she will not allow any actors from SVU appear on The View, because she would be uncomfortable sitting next to them. Um...Elisabeth, hun, last time I checked you weren't Barbara, Rosie, or that big bald man that Meredith used to make fun of all the time, which means you don't really have a say who sits next to you or not. And besides, the actors were just doing their job and don't have much to do with the script. You can watch the segment here. Joy defends her, but I know that on the inside she is running through a sunny meadow with glee proclaiming "Elizabeth Hassenback is dead ya'll".[bwe]

The Not So News

-Elisabeth Hasselbunk proclaims and swears on her "The View" mug that she doesn't hate Rosie and that she isn't going anywhere. Uh huh...that's what Star said and we all know how that story ended. [tmz]

I got nothing else.

Hollywood's New Gay "It" Couple

I should know from experience never to speculate on the relationship status of two gay men walking around a mall together, or just hanging out for that matter. I have been mistakenly taken as being the boyfriend of several of my friends many many times. Of course, I have to also say, that if Grey's Anatomy actor TR Knight and Brothers and Sisters actor Luke MacFarlane are dating, it would be more interesting to me than Reichen and Lance. Mostly because these two aren't flashing their shit all over town like Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct, trying to soak up every ounce of fame they can produce for themselves. Although, I kind of feel like that is mostly Reichen's doing...maybe I am wrong, but I wouldn't care if I was or not. I often wonder how hard it is to find out gay friends in Hollywood...I am guessing it isn't that easy. Kudos candy bar to them, and by them I mean the two pictured at right...not the plastics who have fallen out of the news, one of which is making "cameo" appearances on Days of Our Lives.
[towleroad]

Update on Landscapers

In the spirit of presenting both sides of the story, you can go here to see the response given by The Garden Guy. I feel the need to give my own opinion about the response that the Garden Guy's family has gotten over this. I am greatly disappointed in some of the reactions that the gay community has had on these people. I appreciate the fact that people feel strongly about this, but there is no reason to threaten someone's life, or to lash out at them in extreme ways because of their beliefs. Should they have handled it differently...yes, could they have handled their response differently...yes. They should realize that blatantly telling someone they cannot work for them because of who they are is not tolerated these days. I also know it is very easy to get extremely angry at them for their beliefs, and a lot of gay people tend to immediately lash out rather than taking the time to cool off, collect their thoughts, and make their opinion known in a mannerly fashion. It is a big big world, and not everyone is going to like everyone...as it is painfully clear in the Middle East (and I am in no way saying this is the same thing). In the end, the rash and severe responses given by some of the people in the gay community does more harm than good, and it just drives home a stereotype and reinforces the perception that people have about us.

Testing

Blogger is giving me the fits today. I don't know what is wrong.

Jessy Simpson is Over the Rainbow

Here we go again. Jessy Simpson will not let this mess die, and I really wish she would. In addition to what was posted in Page Six, she has taken to her website to talk about the "epiphany" she had while she was visiting African children, bringing smiles to their faces by handing out free samples of vanilla flavored lip gloss, and presenting all of the mothers with stilleto heels and matching handbags from her very own line, proclaiming, "You do so much for your children and your village and you deserve something nice...Merry Kwanzaa!" which translates to...nobody in America wants to buy this crap and I can't even give it away at the local TJ Maxx, so here ya go...Happy Christmas! Coincidentally, they are the same shoes and bags that the mothers' kids actually made for pennies on the dollar. She says:

"I went there on our three-year wedding anniversary. He stayed home. On that day, everything became so clear. "I was in hospitals with all these sick kids, and I was looking at the beauty of this whole different world. I just knew I needed to find something more in my life - on my own. "I prayed, then looked up at the sky, and I'd never seen this before - it was a double rainbow. It was the most gorgeous thing ever. "From that moment on, I've listened to Judy Garland's Somewhere Over The Rainbow every single day."

I begin to wonder if she also thought she could double her money by finding BOTH pots of gold at the end of those rainbows? And I have to say, as a gay man, when I come to the conclusion that there is a different world out there every five minutes, I do not listen to Ms. Judy Garland. No I don't. I actually hear the theme song from "A Different World" starring Lisa Bonet and the multitalented Jasmine Guy, because it really is "a different world than where you're comin' from" okaaay. Granted, my different world is nothing like that of a rich black girl who went to and failed out of a mostly black college that somehow admitted Adam Sandler as a student, but like I said...I am gay and that's different too...but not Ken Paves gay. Also, the divorce is tired news. Clearly Nick has moved on with a cardboard cutout, and I think Jessica needs to move on too. I mean...her dad has been waiting in the wings for so long, you would think he would have made his move by now and asked her to be his date to his high school reunion. ENOUGH! [sk]

Page Six Discussion

Today marks the beginning of a new segment I like to call "Page Six Discussion". Sometimes there is more than one thing in Page Six that I want to discuss...this let's me do it.

Item #1: Jessica Reads Between the Lines. When her husband, Nick Lachey, decided not to accom pany her on an "Operation Smile" charity trip to Africa, she knew the marriage was over. "I went there on our three-year wed ding anniversary. He stayed home," Simp son told Jane magazine. "On that day, everything became so clear. I was in hospitals with all these sick kids . . . I just knew I needed to find something more in my life, on my own."

My take: You know what? Nobody cares anymore Jessy. Hasn't it been like, over a year since you split from Nick? Why do you insist on continuing talking about it? We get it! You had problems, he did this, you did that. WE. DON'T. CARE! And clearly you are finding something more in your life...misery. Seems nobody wants to date you, and seems that guys who aren't dating you sure as hell don't want to be "known" as dating you...despite well placed gossip by your pimp. And while I would never encourage dating Vanessa Minnillo, and I doubt it lasts forever, at least Nick is doing his own thing and has shut his yap about the details of your breakup. Your star is fading, and it is like you are cat with the claws out and scratching at the ground because you don't want to be picked up. MOVE ON!

Item #2: Closet Busters. IT'S the week to come out of the closet. Yesterday, "Grey's Anatomy" star T.R. Knight told People.com he was gay after his co-star Isaiah Washington outed him during an on-set fight with Patrick Dempsey. The National Enquirer quoted Washington as saying, "I'm not your little faggot, like [name deleted]."

My take: I don't know how true this is about what was said by Isaiah Washington, considering the source is the Enquirer, but I REALLY hope that the word faggot was not used. Used in that context it would be the equivalent had Dempsey used the "N" word. And how shitty to out someone in a way that somehow seems to demean him. What is with the Grey's Anatomy peeps, you got "Meredith" who can't take a joke, and now you have two grown men fighting like boys on a tv set. GROW UP!

Item #3: Matter of Time. ELISABETH Hasselbeck just can't get a break. Not only is she continually butting heads on "The View" with Rosie O'Donnell, but there's now a contest to guess when she'll leave the show.

My take: Cut the bitch loose now. I don't know anyone that likes her. She is an idiot who seems to believe that she is knowledgeable about all worldly things, when in reality her opinion is nothing but a typical narrow minded staunch Republican point of view that sounds limited in experience and scope. She is probably one of those people that loves the gays when it comes to hair, makeup, and styling, but then does a 180 as soon as the cameras are rolling...you know...like Carrie Underwood. And Elisabeth isn't going to leave, because she would find herself unemployed like her former costar Star Jones. BTW, I hope Elisabeth's son turns out to be gay when he grows up.

Houston Landscaper Hates the Gays!

My friend Jason recently sent me an email from a friend of his, who also has a blog, and that email described a gay couple in Houston that a landscaper in Houston refused to do business with them because they are homosexuals. I mean...really?!!?!?! Here is the email from one of the owners:

From: Garden Guy Inc <gardenguyinc@earthlink.net>
Date: October 18, 2006 9:08:36 AM CDT
To: Information has been removed
Subject: Cancel Appt -Garden Guy

Dear Mr. ,

I am appreciative of your time on the phone today and glad you contacted us. I need to tell you that we cannot meet with you because we choose not to work for homosexuals. Best of luck in finding someone else to fill your landscaping needs.

All my best,
Sabrina

Todd and Sabrina FarberOwners,
Garden Guy, Inc.
visit us at: www.garden-guy.com
Member of the Association of Professional Landscape Designerswww.apld.com
Creating beautiful landscaping for Houston homeowners since 1991!
Phone 281-208-4400
Fax 1+801-365-9353
email: sabrina@garden-guy.com
email: todd@garden-guy.com

Here is a link to the blog it comes from. What is wrong with people? FYI to Sabrina and Todd...that oldest son of theirs looks like he may have some gay tendencies come out later in life...hope they are prepared for that.

This Just IN...or OUT!

T.R. Knight, of Grey's Anatomy, has confirmed to People Magazine that he is gay. "I guess there have been a few questions about my sexuality, and I'd like to quiet any unnecessary rumors that may be out there," Knight tells PEOPLE in a statement. "While I prefer to keep my personal life private, I hope the fact that I'm gay isn't the most interesting part of me."I didn't realize there were any questions out there regarding his sexuality...but I do find it coincidental that this announcement comes just as rumors are circulating about some anti-gay remarks Isaiah Washington made to Patrick Dempsey on the set of Grey's Anatomy. [people]

VanMillio is a vision

A vision of ignunce. I cannot express how much I loathe this girl, and I really can't see why Nick hangs out with her. Her personality MUST surely be better in real life than it is during Entertainment Tonight, because her personality is like these Polenta Chips from Whole Foods my friend Elese brought to our reunion this weekend...they tasted like nothing. And is that the leather jacket Nick wore in high school...it isn't cute. Actually, the whole thing isn't cute. Like her archnemisis, Jessy Simpson, I wish she would just go away. Thanks.

BTW sweetie...skinny jeans aren't meant for everyone...and that includes you, and that is mostly because it makes your head look like it is the size of a beach ball. Wow...it must be SO hard to keep Nick from coming back and hitting that. BARF! [splash]

Oh Cameron

Get yourself to a licensed dermatologist and/or a plastic surgeon who didn't get his degree from the University of Phoenix and get that busted up face of yours fixed. Here let me help...www.personique.com. Dr. What's His Name has been featured in People Magazine...and by featured I mean he purchased ad space. I am not sure that Justin realizes that she is a reflection of him and his character, but he better recognize, because with a face like that...front row at your fashion show no less...it can't be helpful. Damn bitch looks old. What done happened to her?

The Not So News

- Paris doesn't want to be a floppy kind of gal. Paris recently finished a movie called National Lampoon's Pledge This, but has refused to attend the premiere in order to promote her album. The limited release of the movie has been pushed back to accomodate her (because she is apparently the biggest name in the film), but she has made it clear she won't be attending. Her side has made it clear she is trying to distance herself from movies that are flops. So...yeah...she is gonna skip promoting a movie flop, but will gladly "promote" her flop of an album. Makes TOTAL sense. Sidenote...seems she doesn't mind causing her latest model boytoy's career to flop. [pagesix]

- I haven't watched it yet, but recovering crackhead Jeffrey took top honors at the Project Runway Finale last night. As I said, I didn't get to watch it, but most everyone has their own opinion on who should have won. Some say Uli, some say Laura, some say none.

- Good ole Nick L. is sitting high these days...muscially speaking, as he has sold 545,000 units while Jessy Simpson has only sold 218,000 units. That is a HUGE drop from the 3 million she sold last time she put out an album. This does not bode well for her pimp's bank account. What oh what will her perverted poppa do? Not sorry to say, but people are sick of Jessy.[rtw]

- While we are discussing musical bombs...Janet Jackson's new CD has tanked, but luckily has sold more that Jessy's album. TMZ says "The CD debuted three weeks ago, selling 296,873 copies. The second week, sales plunged 74% to 77,240 units. The typical second week drop is 40%. (In the third week) sales dropped to 42,240 units, a 45% plunge from the second week. Poor Eve, nothing will ever compare to The Velvet Rope. Someone keep her away from the buffets because I have a feeling she likes to compensate by eating food. [TMZ]

- Thanks to the Crocodile Hunter anyone that gets impaled by a stingray and lives to tell about it will automatically become a celebrity. Just a tip though...if you would rather not deal with the celebrity of almost not surviving something like this or if you just value your life without having to go through a 5 hour surgery to remove a barb...don't be a jackass and pick one up with your bare hands okaaaaay. [TMZ]

Lance and Reichen honored by HRC?

WHAT. THE. HELL? Give me a damn break. These two have not really done anything to help out the gay community, unless you count showing up at LA hotspots to be photographed by the razzi's. Lance has only been out for like 2 seconds and he is already getting an award? I don't get it.



And then there is Reichen, who raises the valid question "So, why are we (Lance and himself) here?", and can't seem to speak about "life events" he has experienced without looking down and reading his paper. I didn't really figure out the answer to the first question. OH, and please don't let him forget to use his whole speech to plug his book, what it is about, and where you can get it, and coincidentally how it was published and released about the same time the awards were held. Overall, unimpressed. Where are the true leaders?

GHS 10 Year Reunion

10 year high school reunion was this past weekend and it was quite splendid. Here are some pictures from the event! Lick It, Stick It, 96 It!!!

Nothing like finding a tampon in the parking lot in front of the box office.

Val thought she was gangsta?

Fashion Fugly

Here we have a picture of Eva Longoria and Tony Parker's mom taken during Eva's recent trip to Paris to watch Tony play ball and attempt to patch up their relationship. Now, I dunno what the hell happened to her style, but just because your mother in law dresses bad, doesn't mean you should do the same. I mean...really. Tony Parker's mom (if that is who this is) looks like a beast fresh from the trailer park who just won $10,000 from a Texas Lotto Scratch off and spent all of it on one trainwreck of an outfit, and would justify her purchases by saying..."Do you know what this is...it is Chanel" thinking that just because it is Chanel that it automatically makes it gorgeous and a 'must have'. No ma'am...that is not how it works. Can we also do something about the hat? I mean...at least use it to cover your gap toothed man face...thanks. I can understand how Eva would think that standing next to this woman would make her look 1,000 times hotter, but in this case I think the fug is rubbing off and it isn't do much to help her cause. Check out their matching necklaces! LOL!!!!
Now Eva...a Juicy Couture Velour Tracksuit would be more chic than what you have on. I realize these people like to dress down, but why can't they do like the common folk and throw on a pair of jeans and sneakers, instead of HAVING to wear a potpourri of unflattering designer crap? Also, the bags are hideous and too big...Mary Kate and Ashley would be proud!

Remixes

Okay...I dunno how many remix loving homos, or remix loving straights there are reading my blog, but they are in for a treat. I found a website that has quite a few remixes of current pop hits playing on the radio. It seems there are at least 10 versions of each song, and you can download them for the low low price of FREE! Click here and head over and get you some ooonce ooonce!

Thank you Dove

Thank you so much for reigniting my seething anger for not having makeup artists and hair stylists waiting at my beck and call in the morning and on the weekends to work their magic before I step out of the house like all my favorite celebrities...yes...thank you.



And also...thank you for proving that a fug can be pretty too with nothing more than a good waxing, some spackle, extensions, and a whole lot of computer aided image enhancements. BTW, does the part where they stretch out her neck disturb anyone else?

Sorry

I wanted to apologize for the lack of posts last week, but work has been busy and I have been busy on finding a different job. I will do my best this week to bump up the posts. Thanks for reading!

The Not So News

- "Firecrotch" screaming oil heir Brandon Davis and his clan may not be as rich as they would like us to believe...allegedly bouncing checks and owing people all kinds of money. That's a shame. [pagesix]

- Patricia Arquette's boobs are muy gigante. [dlisted]

- Blind Item: Which rising R&B star is worrying his label with his habit of inviting handsome young men back to his hotel room after enjoying a few drinks, as he did at PM last week?[nydn]

- Petra Nemcova has dumped James Blunt's no good cheating ass. I do not think this breakup will bode well for my ears later as he is now trying to patch things up with the Czech beauty (and we all know he probaby won't get anything hotter) and she isn't having it. I can only imagine that he will write a gazillion songs about the breakup and it will sound amazingly like his first album. [femalefirst]

Genius Commercial

I LOVE this commercial. I laughed and laughed and laughed.

National Coming Out Day

Today is National Coming Out Day. The HRC has come up with a way to get people to "Talk About It". The campaign is simply called "Talk About It". Coming out is one of the hardest things a gay person can do...I know...I have been there. The fear of abandonment is immense, but so is the inner turmoil that a person faces because they are afraid of the consequences of being who they are. So, if you know someone who is having a hard time coping and dealing with being gay, offer support, let them know that they aren't alone, because that feeling of being alone and having to deal with something so HUGE is part of what keeps so many people in the closet.

J. Lo is a meanie

Jennifer Lopez allegedly went nuts on a flight attendant recently when she asked for a double espresso, but was told they could not make her one. Checking out the website airlinecrew.net, and according to the flight attendant, J.Lo got verbally abusive and came up with this gem of an insult:

"She yelled at me because I could not make her a double espresso and then she said 'your shoes look cheap'".


OOOOO, Jennifer you are SO hardcore on your insults...I mean...really. Clearly this bitch has never been a flight attendant and was this the first time she has ever flown? Those hookers are on their feet all damn day, and when has anyone ever made comfortable but also stylish shoe that provides perfect support? Well, there is that one woman that was on Oprah...Taryn what's her name who used to be a foot doctor but then started making shoes and selling them for like a zillion dollars for a pair. COME ON! While we are on the subject, J.Lo is also a bad tipper. Run over to bitterwaitress.com and have a looksee at just how bad. A quick example...25 cents on a 625 dollar check. C U Next Tuesday!

Remember when...

...Rupert Everett was handsome? I do.
Because now...not so much. Now, I am not one to gossip, but this is either age and no makeup for his book signing, or this is what Coke eventually does to you.

I may still buy his book, but only because it is fully of dishy details about the leading ladies he has starred with in many a movie.

The Not So News

- Vince and Jen done for good. Good ole' Vince was seen canoodling with a mysterious blonde that wasn't Jennifer Aniston in London the other night. [pagesix]

- The infamous 'Runaway Bride' is suing her ex-fiance for $500,000 that he obtained by selling their story to Regan Media and a ladder. She is also asking for many of the bridal shower gifts. Um...first off, if anyone should be getting sued it should be her. Secondly, I hope she is asking for the shower gifts so that she can give them back to the people who purchased them for her, but did not get to enjoy their choice of chicken or fish at the reception. Does she really think she has a case? What a dumbass. [abcnews]

- Reunited...does it feel so good? Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton seemed to have ended their two year feud and have been spotted together three days in a row. One of the voices inside my head is saying that something seems not right about the whole "fight". Then again...who really cares. Watch video over at X17 of the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd time they were seen doing normal everyday stuff...if you care enough. I have to warn you that Nicole looks like she got hit by one of those little Smart Cars in the first video...because if she had been hit by a dumptruck, even metaphorically, she would be dead. Her lipstick is mesmerizing.

- Wh-What do you mean Michael Knight from Project Runway isn't gay?!?!?!?!? Apparently he has been chatting up Brandy. Although, I dunno how much can be said for her womanliness...but she did have a baby in front of the cameras on MTV, so we know she isn't a drag queen. Good for them. Wait...this was reported by Star Magazine. [dlisted]

- Dina Lohan Likes George Clooney and apparently she thinks she has more than a snowball's chance in hell of dating Clooney now that he has announced he wants to date 89 women and Leo DiCaprio in the next 90 days. Someone should tell her that celebrity mom hangers on with out of control kids aren't really Clooney's type. I'm thinking he likes them free of brats and without a busted up kooter. Incoincidentally (is that a word?), she also believes that Lindsay could become the next Angelina Jolie...HA...good luck with that one too you crazy lunatic. [dlisted]

And I'm Back!

Hey boys and girls, I am back from Providence, RI, and I am rested and relaxed and ready to go. For the record, Providence if FUGLY. The people there, at least the places where I was a witness, are tacky at best. Bad taste, bad look, bad, bad, bad. Joey is well. I didn't experience a whole lot of night life, but I am actually cool with that. It was very relaxy, and it was good to not be rushing around changing clothes a million times a day to get ready to impress a bunch of homos that would have been a waste of my time. I will not be blogging today, as I have quite a bit of work to catch up on...you know...unless I get done with my work and find something news worthy. The next couple of entries will probably be stuff you have already heard about, but I had no access to computers while I was gone so it is news to me. MUAH! to all of you for missing me!

Vacation

I wanted to let all 4 of my faithful readers know that I am going to be on vacation Thursday thru Monday. I am taking a plane trip to see my friend Joey aka Joezay in Providence this weekend. I am hoping it will be a fun trip, I just wish a couple other folks were going along too. At any rate, I will be hitting the town in Boston and possibly NYC as well. I hope you all have a fantastic Columbus Day...if you get that holiday off like I do. Ciao!

Today's PSA is brought to you by...

Hohenthaner...

because like they say..."Doing crystal has never been more fun". But seriously kids...you think Crystal Meth is all fun and games and about getting a hot thin body, but it isn't fun...not fun at all. Just ask these people whose lives and looks (not that they were cute before they got hooked, but they didn't look like death either) were ruined by Tina.
I was wondering why we never got to see Kristen Cavalleri's mother on Laguna Beach, and now I know. She was strung out in a well lit alley somewhere in Laguna hanging out with Tina. She should totally get mom of the year.

All joking aside, Crystal Meth is a serious drug with HUGE consequences. I actually have a friend that became addicted to it, and the last time I heard from him was a couple months ago and he was stranded in Atlanta because he went there with another meth addict who left him high and dry and he had no way to get back to DC. I have no idea if he is okay, if he is alive, dead, or something else. Just say no...I mean...how stupid do you have to be to say yes to even trying something like Crystal Meth, and if you do have a problem or know someone that has a problem, GET HELP!

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