Hola Project Runway

Is it just me or did Nina Garcia catch a latin accent between seasons? "Hola!" WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?

Christmas is coming...where's your tree?

Time For A Change

I wanted to let everyone know that I am going to be taking a break from blogging for a little bit...hopefully not more than a week or two, as I transition into a new job. My new job is going to keep me from blogging during the day, so I am going to have to be the Johnny Come Lately and blog about everything after everyone else already has. At any rate, things will get back on a regular track as soon as I can get them that way. Thanks for all the well wishes...I think I am may need them. I really am going to miss my job and all of the ladies I work with on a daily basis. They have turned into a second family for me and I love all of them so very much. My days would have been dark, dreary, and rather dull if it were not for them, and I want to thank them for their friendship, ears, and laughter.

Um...Is She Hot?

I have to say...Cover Girl makeup can work some fucking magic. Drew Barrymore has never looked so good.

A Massacre gon' Happen

I really don't know what part of this video is my favorite. The hot crazy old woman with the beat wig, the fact that she greets her guests with "Come on in muthafucka", her love of a cold tall Colt 45 in the morning while listening to music reaching 1 million decibles, that she is ready to die for whatever reason, or that hot picture of the Native African menz wearing nothing but a loin cloth and smile.

Actually, maybe it is that she don't do favors.

Sparks

You need a spark to light a fire. Truer words have never been spoken. It is true for the times you need to get a campfire going. It is true to light fireworks. It is true for relationships. The topic of making sparks fly came back to me this weekend when I was hanging out with some friends at a party in Dallas. Looking around it seems Dallas is full of coupled people. Everyone there seemed to have a boyfriend, or a date on their arm. It was quite…what words am I looking for…fascinating and queer at the same time. What seemed to be queerer than anything is they all seemed genuinely happy with their respective partners and the majority of them had a “spark” in their eyes that was clearly visible. Austin, at times, seems to be the polar opposite of what I experienced in Dallas. 95% of my friends are single. I have those friends that much more enjoy their freedom and don’t worry about finding, having, dealing with, or want to be bothered with having a boyfriend, and then I have those friends that just kind of sit and pine and wait for Mr. Right to appear on their doorstep all the while wondering if there is something wrong with them because they haven’t settled down to a his and his SUV in the two car garage scenario. Personally, I don’t know where I fit into the scheme of things. I mean…on one hand I would like to have a boyfriend and there are brief moments when I feel lonely, but I do not want one for the sake of having one. That is retarded. On the other hand, I don’t want to be in a relationship for the simple fact that I love my freedom. If I want to get up and go to Dallas or Houston…I can do it. I don’t have to ask permission, or feel obligated to carry someone with me [if I want to be alone]. Granted, that is probably a harsh thing to say considering you should want your boyfriend to go places with you, but sometimes, I just like to go to Houston to hang out with my best girlfriends, go to straight bars/clubs and dance the night away while salivating over hot straight guys, and have a no nonsense, worry about nothing kind of night. I suppose the day will come when I find someone I can’t get enough of and will drag him to every little thing that I do, and there was a time when I did experience that. This brings me back to my original comment about sparks. Someone recently asked me why I was single. Like I mentioned a few lines back…at this point in my life I enjoy my freedom way too much and I still have extremely selfish tendencies. I also told them that I haven’t come across anyone that makes a spark. With a puzzled look on her face she asked me…what do you mean? Well, I replied, you know when you meet someone that has the potential of becoming someone you want to share your life with, and you kind of feel this spark and you have this realization that they are going to be around for a while? She nodded her head up and down smiling because she knew exactly what I was talking about. “That is the spark I am talking about”, I told her. She kind of laughed and said that she had never thought about it in that context before. I was happy to enlighten her. I kind of continued on with the conversation telling her that it is a good gauge of whether or not things are going to work or not. It is just something you feel, and you know it when it happens. As the conversation progressed she asked me if I had ever felt that spark. Without hesitating or even having to think about it, I replied with a hefty “yes”. I have felt that spark twice in my life, and I feel very fortunate to have felt that spark. Ultimately, things did not work out the way I wanted them to in either situation, but I am better for the feeling. My life would be a very different thing if I had never felt those sparks. It really opens a person up to their capacity to love and be loved.

Sometimes I wonder if our lives are limited to a certain number of sparks. It is a frightening thing to think that we could be limited, and shows like Sex and the City when Charlotte proclaimed to the girls at brunch that you only get two great loves don’t really help very much…considering Elizabeth Taylor was married…what…seven or eight times? Do I ever think I will get the spark again? I don’t know. According to my astrological chart, November is going to be a romantic month, and being a Pisces it is very easy for me to drift off to one of my many worlds of make believe and imagine meeting someone that looks like Marco Dapperwith the personality of Dan Humphrey or Chuck Bartowski (who are both totally fiction) who causes a spark that ignites something so insanely addictive that it knocks me on my ass and turns my world upside down. It is easy to imagine that, a bit unrealistic, but nice. Then the phone rings or someone walks into my office and reality pulls me back from my fantasy world. So on the question of whether or not I will ever feel that spark again…I am hopeful and I am optimistic and only time and the stars will tell. Patience is a virtue and at only 29 years old…I have plenty of time, but it will most definitely be good to feel that pulse of electricity light me up on the inside again.

Tastey Tuesday: Dustin

Hey kids, today's Tastey Tuesday is brought to you by the letter "H". H for HOT. Let me introduce you to Dustin. Dustin comes to us from sunny and gorgeous West Hollywood, CA, and I found him on Friendster. Click to see Dustin. He finds "The Rock" to be yummy and delicious. Outside of the rock he is looking for someone that is low maintenance and somewhat attractive. I believe I am "somewhat attractive"...maybe I give him a buzz...no? Other than that, not much else to know about him, except he likes him some reality television. The picture with the stuffed monkey is THE cutest of them all. I have an old stuffed dog that has been around since I have been alive...his name is "Puppy".

Jenkem is the S#*t

Literally. I read this article and at first I thought...WHY!?!?!?!? The second thing I thought was, WHO?!?!?!? Who was the first jackass to experiment this concoction and test it out? Because to me...a drug made of human waste is about the most disgusting things I have ever read about, and I think I would sooner die by throwing myself into traffic than ingest human fecal matter. At any rate, for those of you who want to read more about it, go over to The Smoking Gun and take a gander at it. It is chock full of photos and a kid actually sipping on a straw that has been plunged into the Ball jar full of sewage. Isn't it amazing how you can make drugs out of anything from Pine-sol to human waste. Lord, I just know one of my ex's probably came up with this. Damn crackheads. I will pray for them, because they seem to be in desperate need of divine intervention. Shit and piss? Really?!?!?

I LOVE a HOT Fireman

One day...I hope I look like Nick. Never gonna happen.

Get Out The Laser

While we are on the topic of bad music videos, can we discuss Jordin Sparks' new video for her single "Tattoo"?

I don't know if the producers were trying to make her "sexy", but it comes off looking like she wants to put the camera between two slices of bread, sop it up in some gravy, and swallow it whole. I mean...the person that came up with this concept really must not like this girl, because there is not one flattering moment or angle in this video. Now, I am not saying that a girl with curves can't be sexy, because she can...but Jordin needs to get a little older before she tries to bring the sexy...and she needs to take some classes on how to be a better lipsyncher and an actor, because I can totally tell she is not really singing and I can also tell that those rancid looking girls are not her friends in real life. Can we also get a cuter boy? GEEZ! Oh, and one more thing...who was the stylist for this video, because she needs to be drug out back and get a bullet put in her skull for such awful fashions. Overall, this video leaves me wanting to go down and have that tattoo lasered off and if that doesn't work there is always an SOS scouring pad.

Headlines: I Don't Get It

The new music video for the Spice Girls slightly anticipated song Headlines (Friendship Never Ends) has premiered and I am at a loss for words...

Is this an ad for Geri's abs, or an ad for a new line of Dominatrix gear by Posh, or just a casserole filled with a bunch of random ingredients from the refrigerator? The girls look kind of old and a couple of them look unnaturally unhuman. To be honest, I am underwhelmed and the only thing I can think of is that I could listen to Mel C (aka Sporty) sing all damn day. The others can go back to making horrible clothes, pushing Prego Spaghetti sauce, Dancing with the stars, and whatever it is Geri is doing with her free time.

Can The Weekend Start Already?

Let The Weekend Begin

Joey Doyle is hot

Beyonce: Dance

According to Femalefirst, Beyonce is once again thinking inside the box and copying other artists who have seen huge success by foregoing the sliding market for RnB and Rap music and instead choosing to go the dance route instead. While I applaud the likes of Madonna, Britney (whose new album is surprisingly good), and Rihanna...I feel Beyonce may be too far behind the curve to do this, but who knows. She is reported to be teaming up with Freemasons to help produce a hit album after he last album bombed. James Wiltshire, one half of the duo, said: "The album is going to be huge. It will rival anything the likes of Britney and Rihanna have done recently. Beyoncé and her team can see where mistakes were made on her last album (yeah...the whole thing sucked). That was very American, very r'n'b and stripped back. This time they want to go for a more international sound and hit as many audiences as possible."

Ultimately, I have mixed feelings about this. I am not a huge fan of Beyonce's anymore, and I kind of feel like everyone is pretty tired of all the huge blown up overproduced, overexposed, and overpaid singers and actors who keep shoving crap down our throats. Then again, who can ever really tell...this path might be a huge actually tolerable success. I do have to confess that I do like to hear a Freemasons Remix to Deja Vu and Beautiful Liar when I am busted ass drunk on the dancefloor at Oilcan's or Southbeach.

Jenny Lopez...How Far She Has To Fall

Poor ole Jenny Lopez. The knocked up with twins Latina just cannot seem to get a break these days. Her ill-conceived movie, "El Cantante", with her biology class skeleton of a husband fell flat as Debra Messing's chest (and bitch still owes for those limo rides to the premieres), and now it is being reported by Page Six that her latest incarnation (that she apparently hoped would be the vehicle to deliver her an Oscar...HA...Beyonce isn't getting one and neither are you Jenny) "Bordertown", where she plays some reporter probing deaths of women in some Mexican factory, is apparently heading straight to release on DVD. If that ain't embarassing, I don't know what it. That is like all the damn sequels and prequels to "Bring It On" and "Cruel Intentions". More bad news for the girl is that her record label is considering dropping her because her albums don't sell as much money as they spend to produce them. Hair and makeup for the cover cost $60,000 alone. WHAT!?!?!?!?!? $60,000 and she still looks like a hit mess? Have you seen that cover? I swear to Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior...I could have done that cover for $60. Spramp that bitch with some misty water mixed with some glitter, set up my Lasko oscillating fan on high, stick a mirror in front of her face, add some Love My Lips lipstick in pink paisley and Love My Eyes in sure fire silver, work the poor Photoshop over until it moans in agonay and VOILA you have a cover. Then there is the video...$300,000 to make her look like she is saving a kid from working in one of her sweatshops? Puh-lease. That bitch would not even think about walking into a factory, much less risking her life to save some peasant child. Oh and to top things off...they say her makeup costs $8,000 a day. I am not even gonna say anything about that mess, because it ain't even right. She wants rosey cheeks, send her to me, I'll smack the bitch around. How could things come to this? Oh yes, greed + overindulgence * overexposure = career suicide. Just ask Tom Cruise. People just don't care all that much about celebrities or the shitty products they are putting out these days. Good thing she will have babies to keep her occupied, and maybe they will bring her back down to earth, because we are tired of the diva antics.

Her legs look like sausages

Tyra Tyra Tyra. Sometimes a lady should leave certain things to the imagination. Especially when the alternative is packing your legs in a sausage casing and walking around in public like it is high fashion. I do not need to know what the inside of your vagina looks like, nor do I need to see exactly how globe shaped your big ass cheeks are. I mean...I can understand why she would wear this mess if she had all the fat sucked out of her legs, but clearly that hasn't happened. And look at the lady in the background...you know she is thinking..."Tsk Tsk Tsk, you aren't smiling with your eyes Tyra". [splash]

I Love Anthony Bourdain

Who is this man and why do I love him? Well I will tell you. I am not COMPLETELY familiar with his show or what network it is on, but he has a show that follows him traveling all over the place to try the local fare. I believe it is on the Food Network. Recently, he made headlines bashing Rachel Ray because of her endorsement for Dunkin' Donuts. And why wouldn't he...because it is just a bad choice...considering the levels of obese people in this country. At any rate, I think he finds her to be a wretched human being just like I do. I think she is a loud mouth twat that needs to bring her "enthusiasm" down about six notches. Recently he sat down with Time and they axed him about his continual picking on RR.

Why do you always pick on Rachael Ray?

Well, she can take it. She’s incredibly powerful, very successful, far more loved than I am… so it’s not like I’m hurting her. And on the other hand, she genuinely offends me. I compare her to, the standard I hold her to — foolishly, perhaps– is Julia Child, who wasn’t a professional chef either. When you watched Julia Child, you would see her make Coq a Vain, or some classic French dish, and you’d say “Wow, that’s classic French food, that’s not so difficult. Julia can do it, I can do it. I’m gonna try that.” And it made people aspire to more.

I think when Rachael tells you that it’s perfectly OK to buy a pre-chopped onion from the supermarket… I mean how hard is it to chop an onion? What you take away from Rachael Ray is “I could cook that! I feel better about myself now. I’m not gonna cook that! But I will finish this bag of Cheetos and that gallon jug of Diet Pepsi before dying of diabetes.”

I am completely offended by that hag too, and the fact that she is promoting donuts and 5,000 calorie frapuccinos is also offensive. Clearly, the dollar sign has clouded her judgement on what should and shouldn't be marketed to America's youth...or fat Americans for that matter. And honestly...how hard IS it to chop an onion? You may shed some tears, and actually, if I weren't so cold and hard as nails, I find it handy to have an onion around to make me seem more human by making my tear ducts well up, but that is a topic for my therapist. PS, I just LOVE BWE's picture showing her choking a chicken. SO HIGHlarious. [bwe]

Oh...HELLO!

This is Sean Lammont...he plays some kind of rugby or something. HOT!