Here's Your Free Reading

I work with someone who is training to become a "medium", and the other day I asked him to do a reading of me...you know for shits and giggles to see if he was just full of crap or if there was any kind of truth to what he would say. I am a huge skeptic of this type of thing, because of the vagueries involved with it. I have to say though...despite the vague sounding words he told me they sounded anything but vague. He basically saw a vision of me at a cross roads and in the middle of the intersection was a hole in the ground that had fresh dirt covering it and that this place has been revisited numerous times because I keep digging up something and reburying something that I am not allowing myself to move from, and that there are a lot of hurt feelings I am harboring inside of me from a few different sources. Sadly, the digging up could be several things and he could not be more specific. He went on to say that he could count the number of people that have seen and know "the real me" on one of his hands and as he kept going into more personal stuff (that I won't go into detail about on here) he kind of snapped back and looked at me and told me he couldn't go on any further because my psychic energy blocked him from going any further. I thought it was kind of interesting...do I believe it...yes and no. I believe there is some merit to some of it all, and it is part of his religion, so I am not going to bash it in any way. It did give me some things to think about, and it kind of makes me think that it is time to change my way of thinking about things in life that I have a negative feeling towards because of some bad experience I should have gotten over a long time ago. He also mentioned that maybe I should write some of these things down in order to release them, so I think that is what I will do.

You Can Invite Someone If You Want

NOTE: This post was written a week ago, but posted 2/27. "Just so you know, there is room for a +1...if there is someone you want to bring with you...because we think you may have a secret boyfriend". My 31st birthday is quickly approaching...next weekend to be exact...and that is what my friend Matt told me yesterday when he spelled out some of the plans for Saturday night. To give you a quick run down of things...the evening involves a nice dinner and a limo ride taking us to all of the places we like to party. I will be riding along with Matt and Joey, and Amy and Mat...making me the perpetual fifth wheel. BTW, it is also Mat's birthday too. With that said, I think my coupled/married friends are starting to worry about me and my lack of having a significant other in my life, and the lack of any prospects and I don't know exactly how to think about it. All of these people have spent a majority of their lives as the picture of being single, but now Joey and Matt are together and Amy and Mat are married to each other. On one hand, I am appreciative of their concern, but on the other hand, I don't really like to be reminded that I am "alone". Don't get me wrong...I am not saying there is anything wrong with being single...because there really is not. I have been single most of my gay life, and for the most part I don't have a problem with it. However, I am turning 31 next weekend and the thought and desire to have someone special in my life is on my mind more lately than it has been in a while. I miss the companionship. I miss the intimacy. I miss rolling over and putting my arm around someone and holding them close to me. I miss kissing someone with passion. I miss making dinner and later curling up on the couch with a glass of wine to watch a movie. This whole entry is only meant to be me "talking" out loud...I am not looking for any kind of sympathy or encouragement from anyone about the future...so PLEASE don't respond with things like..."oh you will have your day soon" or "you are a great catch...a lucky guy will come around soon", because that chatter doesn't really help much, but I think for my birthday this year I would just really like a great kiss.