You might think you are hot, but I beg to differ Vol 1

Okay, today's post begins a new type of entry called "You might think you are hot...". Sometimes, I find Myspace, Friendster, Connexion, and all the other "social networking" sites to be a little bit retarted. Of course, I am a member of three, but have I met anyone? No, I think I am considered more an "asset" in someone's collection of "friends". I will admit that they are quite addictive, and there is a lot of stuff out there to see. It is people watching in the digital age, except you can't make fun of the way they talk or walk because you can't hear or see them in person. At any rate, there seem to be A LOT of narcissistic individuals out there who, for whatever reason think they are the cat's meow. I beg to differ on most of them. Honestly, if you are going to have professional pictures taken of yourself, then please, just be a model. If that is what you want to do, DO IT. Don't take pictures of yourself, just to plaster them all over your myspace thinking you are SO pretty, because NO. Before I continue, I will also say that I am not hot. I do not look in the mirror every morning and think..."DAMN you are one fine man". I have hangups about my appearance, always have, probably always will. I know that I am not a horridly ugly beast, but I am also not one to strut around like I am "cock of the walk". I workout 4X a week to stay in shape for myself, NOT to please everyone else. Okay...that is a little bit of a lie. I also do it for the vanity of it. Back to the story, may I present to you Bobby from Myspace. Bobby is not hot to me. Bobby also has himself all over the place on his Myspace. Granted, that is the purpose of Myspace, but damnit...there is a fine line between being tasteful and being over the top. Bobby is the latter. He even has a picture of himself "floating" in the background of his profile (BARF). You ain't no model, you ain't even a pretty boy (in my best Texas accent).

So, where to begin. I am getting the impression from the first picture that someone told him that he resembled Ryan Phillipe circa "Cruel Intentions", because he is doing some crazy ass pose that Sebastian might have done to entice his virgin prey Annette. Sorry, but the look isn't working, and you are no Ryan Phillipe. Shame on your momma for telling you a fib, while we are at it Santa Claus and the Toothfairy are not real. Picture number 2 makes me wonder if he took an iron to his lips or if he, at 30, has the same collagen injecting plastic surgeon as Melanie Griffith, and does he go to the same tanning salon as George Hamilton? Fried and pouty doesn't do much for me. The airbrushing on the face isn't quality work either...you might want to talk to your photographer. Picture 3 would have garnered an 'honorable mention' at the county beauty pageant, but he had to go and pout some more and go with the gaunt, but I promise I am not seeing Tina, cheek suck in. Is it just me, or do his pecs just look like a continuation of his abs? Take the shirt off please, it doesn't make your pecs look any better. I am not really sure what is going on in Picture 4, becuase that outfit looks shockingly similar to a dress that Debra Messing wore on an episode of W&G when Josh was taking Grace to the symphony, and it looked like a big jacket. And is he wearing pink lipstick, because if he is I hop it is MAC. Clearly not the most masculine thing. He sort of looks like the guy who plays "Mouth" on One Tree Hill. If I knew what the kid's name is, I would put a picture of him up here. I will give him this...he has good eye color, but they are probably contacts. I have seen enough.