Starbucks Bitch

So, I am not a huge coffee drinker, but every once in a while I will go to Starbucks for a coffee or a coffee type beverage. Today I stopped into the Starbucks on 5th & Lamar (across from Whole Foods), and it is the first time that I have ever dealt with a rude employee at SB. Usually, they are very cheerful and hopped up on more caffeine than I would ever drink in my lifetime. NOT TODAY. I went in around 6:45am, still half asleep from staying up with the boys and I ordered a tall Caramel Frappucino. I paid with my check card because today is payday and I was not carrying any cash. And really, does anyone carry cash anymore. The following was our exchange:

Starbucks: Hello, what can I get you?
Charlie: I'll have a tall caramel frappucino please.
Starbucks: That'll be $3.57
At this point I hand her my card and she swipes it
Starbucks: This place just gives THE BEST tips.
Charlie: (puzzled and still half asleep her demeanor did not register) Um...huh?
Starbucks: Nothing, I just tend to put my foot in my mouth at the wrong time.
As she said this, I had begun looking in my wallet for cash because I felt bad and my mind wasn't yet sharp enough to come back with a witty and insightful, yet crass remark.
Charlie: Sorry, but I don't have any...
Starbucks: No, it's okay, I was kidding.
I thought...no you weren't you dumb cunt. Then she walks off to go put juice in the cooler and didn't even give my order to the girl actually making the beverages, who btw is ALWAYS smiling and jovial. I didn't realize she didn't give my order until I was standing there and jovial girl asks me if I ordered a drink.
Charlie: A tall caramel frappucino
Jovial: Okay, I am so sorry, she didn't give me the order.
Charlie: Okay?
Jovial: Here, this is for next time you come in here (she handed me a coupon for a free drink).
Charlie: Um...okay...thanks?
Jovial: (smiling) Here you go, and have a great day.

I got my drink and headed to the car. As soon as I got into the car I was like...what just happened here? Was a Starbucks employee just rude to me? UHHH, she WAS rude to me, and because I am still "out of it" because I went to bed so late, I didn't even catch it. First off, I usually pay with cash at Starbucks and I ALWAYS put the change in the little change bucket. Second, Tori Amos on Fetal Alcohol Syndrome needs to find another line of work that doesn't involve customer service or any interaction with humans. Although, I have a feeling that Jovial is going to give her a severe lashing because she did chipper up when Jovial scowled at her. Third, bitch does not deserve a tip, mostly because she isn't making my beverage, she is running the register and restocking the juice cooler and bitching about it...hardly anything deserving of a tip. Fourth, it is not proper to ask for a tip, and especially at Starbucks. It isn't like you are waiting on me like they do at a restaurant. Fifth, here's a tip...look both ways before crossing the street...or not.

Could today go any slower?