Vanessa Minnillo Proves the Blatantly Obvious

Entertainment Tonight's Vanessa Minnillo spent countless minutes covered in a fat suit and dressed like a hot mess from Austin's North East side and then as a blonde woman all to prove a point that everybody already knows. In her "Undercover Investigation" she made herself ugly, although seeing as how beauty is in the eye of the beholder I think she made herself a little more attractive than she actually is, but that is just what my eyes see. She wanted to prove that unattractive people have it much harder than attractive people do. HELLO! Wake up you dumb bitch...of course they do. This is NOT news, and you didn't need an "undercover" costume to figure it out. Science has proven it...pick up a newspaper. Furthermore, ET sent her to places that fat, unattractive people with no money NEVER go. They do not go shopping at Barney's and other upscale stores on Madison Ave...more like COSTCO, Sears, and Wal-Mart okaay. I mean, who would want to help someone who looks like she does? Even if I were blind my ass would STILL run screaming into the night desperate to find a cross, some lamb's blood to douse myself in, and all the raw meat I could find to throw in the opposite direction I was running. The worst part about this whole segment is they HAD to stretch it over 7 days. Is it really necessary, and THEN she ends it all by reading "emails from viewers". I find that very hard to believe, considering there are NO email addresses or any contact information ANYWHERE on the Entertainment Tonight website for anyone. Maybe I am just looking in the wrong place. Even worse than that was she had to give a Vanessa-ism at the end of each segment. She said stuff like...on the outside we are all different, but on the inside we all have feelings too, and no matter what you do a Rose will always smell like a Rose and not like a Tulip. WTF does that mean? In the "getting ready" part of the video she points out that the people doing her makeup are "already laughing", but bitch is laughing too. SO dramatic she is. To all the girls out there who may be large, small, short, tall, awkward, or weird, I have some advice for you. Don't listen to the Vanessaism. You think she didn't get where she is because of her looks. If you like your look and it works for you then own it, however, if you want to make yourself more attractive, here are a few tips:

1. Make the decision to be pretty something that you want to do for yourself...no one else! In the end, how you feel about yourself is the most important thing. Trust me, I know. I compare myself to unattainable male beauty every damn day.

2. Find a gay male friend. Gay men love pretty and things that shine. A gay man will not let a girl walk out of the house looking like a hot mess. Look at Lindsay Lohan...she has no main gay in her life and she often walks out of the house looking hit...all because Rachel Zoe said it looks cute, and that bitch can't even dress herself. The gay man can also instuct you on grooming habits as well.

3. Join a gym and actually GO to the gym. Go with your new main gay. This is a good idea for girls who want to lose weight or want to get fit. Get over yourself if you are afraid to walk into a gym because you think you are too fat. That is what the gym is for, and it is one of the few places where a fat person can go and not get weird stares, because the people that are there know why you are there and in their minds they are applauding you for it.
4. Go shopping! I would do this after you have been at the gym and hit a milestone in your workout. Nothing makes a person feel better than reaching a goal, rewarding themself, and working it.

Finally...that's all.