Nothing's Free Baby

So some chick from The Apprentice has decided to offer up her lawyer services to Britney Spears for free of charge. She says that she has a fool proof plan to get Britney back on the straight and narrow road of getting her children back. Her plan goes like this:

1. Stacy would move into Britney's house to help her get her life back in order. Yeah, Stacy...I am sure Britney will totally go for that. First of all, you are not a dude, and that is what Britney is into...dudes. You may have masculine features, but a dildo does not replace a dick.

2. Britney will have to "hibernate". No more Starbucks runs for Brit Brit, and she again mentions that if she has to move in and open up her own Netflix account so they can stay in and watch movies, she will do so. Um...again, that is ridiculous. Britney thrives on Starbucks, and the only way that lunatic is going to stay home is if you get a Starbucks built on her property with fake paps taking her picture as she walks back and forth from her house to the Starbucks next to the pool, because we all know she is just as addicted to having her picture taken as she is to meth (have you seen her fingers...ewww), and caffeine.

3. Britney needs to keep her mouth shut and get her emotions under control. You know Stacy, in order to do that, you are going to have to find the hidden meth lab in her house...which you could do while you move in with her and destroy it, because that is why Britney can't keep her mouth shut. Either that or she is bipolar, or just crazy.

4. She will have to practice her testimony, because now she is making herself seem crazy or that she doesn't care. BINGO!!!! Bitch isn't as stupid as I thought. Britney doesn't care you dumb slag, which makes this whole posting moot or "moo" because she couldn't care less about all of it.

Furthermore, does this look like the face of someone you would listen to? I know I would take one good look at her, throw up my best "talk to the hand" gesture, flip my hair (if I had any), and walk away. All this is, is some dumb chick trying to get some face time with the media because her 15 minutes of fame didn't even last that long after she was done with her involvement with The Apprentice. And also...what does she think she has that other people don't have when it comes to getting a handle on Britney's insane and debaucherous behavior? Unless she farts tranquilizing gas, she is never going to get a leash on Britney and you can forget the late night pillow fights, eating chocolate, giving each other facials, and screaming from watching Alien vs Predator while braiding each other's hair attempt to keep Britney at home on any day of the week that ends in "Y". Good luck with all that Stacy, because I am pretty sure there are people a bit more qualified to help good ole Brit Brit out, and you have just made a fool of yourself, but fortunately for her...and also the saddest for her is most people are like..."who the hell is Stacy Schneider". I know I am. [pagesix]