All Bald Up Does NOT recommend

In an effort to build bigger muscles and satisfy my inflamed Body Dysmorphic Disorder, I have begun eating more protein to satisfy the voracious appetite my muscles have attained in order to get bigger. Part of that diet includes snacking on a protein bar during the day (which BTW, I am STILL hungry after I have eaten it). I have tried several kinds, and I have yet to find one that is tastey and delicious. Today I sunk my teeth into what I thought would be delicious, but clearly was more a ill conceived good idea in theory. I bit into Balance Bar's "cookie dough" protein bar and nearly borched. First of all I thought...OMG, I LOVE Blue Bell's Cookie Dough Ice Cream, but quickly realized that the taste of one does not translate to the other. It was nothing but a gritty sandy mess in my mouth. I felt like my teeth were being sandblown into nothingness, and we all know what it is like to have sand in our mouths...it is the opposite of pleasant. The best, however, was yet to come when I finally got the gritty mess down...because Charlie isn't gonna throw away a $2 protein bar especially when he is starving. After I finished the chocolate covered sand paper I started to taste pennies. The after taste was that of metal. I thought...am I having a stroke...shouldn't I smell burnt toast too? Should I pull over and call 9-1-1? Luckily, the after taste didn't last that long, but it is still faint on my tastebuds, and I have no mints to bring a freshness to my tongue. THANK GOD lunch is in like 15 minutes. Tomorrow's taste: yogurt honey peanut, which I am sure will probably taste nothing like its name.