I now pronounce you J. Lo

Apparently, Jennifer Lopez read the words..."the day will be all about you and you only Jennifer"on her invitation to the TomKat wedding, when it actually probably said, "come witness the end of the world at an apacolyptic blowout!". According to USWeekly, she made sure the day was all about her:

"Tom Cruise and Holmes kindly arranged for a private plane to bring some of their more famous friends to Italy for their wedding. But a source tells Us Weekly that, hours before Jada Pinkett Smith, Leah Remini and Jerry Maguire director Cameron Crowe boarded the chartered 757 to Rome, "Jennifer Lopez sent her assistant to secure seats by laying her belongings on all the best seats!" Lopez also flew her hairstylist, Ken Paves, into Rome and set him up at the posh Hotel Hassler to do her hair for the big day. Meanwhile, it's supposed to be the bride's special weekend, but the singer made sure that all eyes were on her at a group dinner at the restaurant Nino on Thursday night. Says a source, "The November 16 welcome dinner was supposed to be casual. But J.Lo, of course, wore a gown. So much for casual." And the special treatment didn't stop there. At 2:33 a.m. in the wee hours after the wedding, Lopez, 37, had a waiter sneak two doggie bags to her and husband Marc Anthony, 38, as they were on their way to the airport to return to the States."

You know what...if J. Lo was completely unable to fool people into thinking she was something special, then her big ole ass would be cleaning my house or ringing up my purchases behind the counter at Target. She can't sing, and her acting is even worse than her singing. Did you see her try to be a frumpy thing in Monster-In-Law? NEVER THAT! And despite her lack of talent and being married to the skeleton model from my junior high biology classroom, she is still the biggest bitch in Hollywood. I bet Ben Affleck is glad to be rid of her ass...as is Diddy. Anytime you hear something about her...it always seems to be the same. Keeping it real, my ass. If you see this hussy walking down the street, remember vaseline makes the nails slide right off, and razor blades are rarely seen coming when hidden properly. And can I just say that Marc Anthony is SO FUG! Calling him Skeletor would be a compliment.