The Not So News

- Paris Hilton admits to LAPD that she isn't the "brightest bulb on the sign" and that like...she totally "has a hard time remembering things". [pagesix]

- Um...what?!?!? DMX was raped? How does something like that happen to a big name rapper? And his wife stands by his side and believes this. We are supposed to believe that a woman held him down and dropped herself on his rod? Stranger things have happened I guess.[aolmusic]

- Joe Namath's daughter named as homewrecker in a bitter divorce battle. [pagesix]