Not So News: Afternoon Edition

- Lindsay Lohan gives the world another glimpse of her lopsided vag and also makes me realize why I am a homo. You know...for a girl that can carry around a $10,000 Birkin Bag full of $1 million dollars worth diamonds and jewelry, I have a hard time believing that this girl can't drop some money on some La Perla lady drawers. Beware, this image is NSFW, so if you click it scroll slowly when no one is around. [dlisted]

- The Hoff is a loon, or as looney as a person is that says they "want to be buriend beneath their star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in a glass casket so that fans can see him decompose". [bwetv]

- This one is late getting on here, but Paris Hilton was also burned recently when she was invited to billionaire Richard Branson's son's 21st birthday party. She asked Branson if she could dress as Alice from Alice in Wonderland (as that was the theme...why a 21 year old straight boy would want that as his theme is beyond me...then again I wanted My Little Pony for my theme at my 21st bday...and I was straight back then too). Branson failed to let her know that 60 waitresses would be dressed the same and even purposely mistook her for a waitress and asked for a drink pronto. [dailymail]

- Fergie must have had some goooooood shit if she is calling her crystal meth addiction the hardest boyfriend she has ever had to break up with. When drugs take on a personality and vital organs of their own...you must be high. I always wondered where all that Kids Incorporated money went...now I know. But seriously, girl, if you see him out and about, could you let me know, I have a friend who wants to know why he isn't returning her calls okay. [people]

- Eva Longoria might not want to be so quick to bite the hand that feeds her, making claims she will not do anymore television shows after Desperate Housewives. Maybe she wasn't lying when she said that she would retire back to South Texas when it all comes to an end. [yahoo]

- Bored at work...make your own Simpson's character.