Tripping in Charlotte: Part 2

I basically crashed the night I arrived in Charlotte, but had to get up early to attend the Kick Off Assembly at 8:30am the next day. This is when I started looking for my colleagues from Austin, and with attempts to reach them by phone...nothing. I park my ass at the back of the banquet hall and fall asleep twice during the speeches. THEN, Greg Levin got up to speak and I was wide awake. Greg Levin writes for Callcenter Magazine and has a column or something. He is cute, and he lives in Austin too. He gave a good speech, but I stayed awake mostly because I thought he was cute, and thought me might be a homo because he was dressed very unlike a straight man. Turns out...married with child. Oh well. After the speeches I hauled ass down to the tradeshow so that I could scoop up as much free crap as I could. Of course, this year the free crap basically included pens with company names on them...wow thanks. I ran into my cohorts from Austin and we hung out, chatted up vendors, got registered for the big "invitation only" parties, and then went to a couple classes and then got the hell out of there and headed to the nearest Hooters. We rolled up, ordered some beers, only to discover that one of the waitresses was 5 months pregnant. I know what you are thinking..."charming". And it was, and that girl was trying to hide it as well as she could with her tight tank top and high shorts. We got a good buzz and left. Shawn pulled up to my hotel and I insisted that he drop me off at the front doors, not just stop in the street and let me get out. I kind of half staggered into the hotel lobby and decided not to let my beer buzz die and went to the hotel bar where I heard someone scream, "CHARLIE...OVER HERE". I thought...who on God's green earth could possibly know me here? I look over and it is a colleague of mine from another County sitting in a chair sipping on a glass of wine. This woman can be quite a bit to take sometimes, but I thought...she has seen me and I can't avoid her now. I walked over, sat down and she immediately starts telling me about the Texas Party she went to and how it was SO boring, but how she scored 3 drink tickets and used them all. I thought...yeah...that's great, where is the waitress because I am going to need a VERY large drink. About that time this woman who can only be described as Cloris Leachman's younger, but older looking, sister with a bad dye job comes stumbling up to sit down. Can I also say that this woman had quite a bit of "wear and tear" look on her too. She sat down and immediately took her hand to her head and started running her claws through her blonde hair with greenish looking highlights, spoke in a slurred speech and had a look of "I'm hungry for a man" in her eyes.... to be continued.