Only on eBay

As if it isn't bad enough that people sell used underwear and half empty bottles of shampoo on ebay, now you can own a half eaten sandwich and corndog (professionally sealed and unedible) that some cater waiter fished out of the garbage of an event allegedly nibbled on by Britney Spears. This is too gross to even comment on. For all you nasty bastards out there that want some Spears saliva for her white trash DNA, you can place your bid here, you have until August 31st. The current bid is at $41.00.
Now, you let me know when that piece of gum that she chewed on during Matt Lauer's interview and at the Teen Choice Awards goes up on the block and I'll be open to negotiations, but otherwise...no ma'am.