So how single are you?

This past weekend I went floating down the Comal River with some friends and had a fantastic time. There was a girl along with us who I got to talking with after she said she wanted to discuss something with me. She asked me the question, "so are you single". My answer was, "yes, I am single". She replied, "so what exactly do you mean by 'single'?". I said, "well, I am not seeing anyone, I am not sleeping with anyone, and when I masturbate...it's just me, myself, and I". "Okay, so we have the same definition." Her next question followed was, the inevitable "why?". I don't know how many reasons she wanted, but after some quick personal reflection I basically told her that I am really not boyfriend material because, 1. I have been scorned many times leaving me cynical and bitter with nothing more than a cold hard heart fueled by ice in my veins, 2. I am a 'mess', I admit it and guys have told me this but that is me, 3. I find it hard to take myself seriously much less expect another person to, I have no idea if this is a defense mechanism or what, and 4. I have come to the realization that "the one" does not exist in gayworld. Wow, does that make me sound bad? Okay, so I don't really have ice running through my veins, but I am a "mess", and actually I think I take myself too seriously. Oh and I have a touch of body dysmorphic disorder.