The Highlight of my trip to the Pitts

Can I just say that Pittsburgh is not a place that I would ever recommend anyone moving to, unless they were gonna get paid a hell of a lot of bank. At first I thought...damn there are a lot of homeless people in this city. Turns out, it was just a bunch of peeps waiting for the bus. Ooops, but I digress. So, I slept late today and didn't get up until lunch time. I was HUNGRY and didn't have a whole lot of time to get some grub and go to the conference. I walked to the McDonald's on Liberty and 5th(?). This is the most ghetto fabulous McD's I have EVER set foot in, and I was really not having it. As I am standing in line, there is a homeless man yelling at some man he accused of cutting in line, while also trying to figure out how to make the most of his $5 on the $1 menu and still have enough money to buy some cheap booze. The girl who was supposed to be waiting on me was paying attention to that mess, and then to my right was some ghetto woman trying to get something for nothing by getting "her girl" to hook her up with some stuff. Then out of nowhere, in unison, all of the employees caught a glimpse of a truck driving by and were like..."NASTY, what is that?". Well, of course, all the customers including me turned to look out the window and what to my wondering eyes did appear? Well, it wasn't vision of good ole St. Niklaus that's for DAMN sure. Stopped at the light was a moving truck with the picture of an aborted fetus on the side of it. Crazy "hookup" lady starts saying "Right to life. Right to life. You don't want to have one of those, you can't take care of your baby, keep your legs shut or sew your koochie up. Keep the koochie closed hos" Of course, then she spills her drink on the counter and it splashes on moi. She says "Sorry baby that van dun gawt me all werkt up and I am so flustertated right now" That isn't a misspell...she said flustertated. I finally get my food...as I had ordered it before the fetus picture, and I sit down in a quiet part of the restaurant, only to realize I am in the same area as a 75 year old retarded woman who has band aids in her hair, and I overheard her say...because my head hurts. Really...your hair is going to be hurting you when you have to pull those things out. At this point I had seen quite enough, inhaled what my food, and flew out the door. After that, I went to one of my classes and found myself counting the number of times a presenter said the words "uh" or "um" and I counted 128 times in 30 minutes. That is a lot. Good Times...HEEYYYY.