Flash....Lights

OKAY...can I just say that some people are damn sad. I went to a lovely dinner with a friend tonight and was driving through downtown Austin when I saw this barage of flashbulbs flickering off and on as I drove towards Congress. As I got closer I saw that it was a paparazzi style picture taking. I thought...is this someone important or is it some lame ass bitches who hired a bunch of photographers to make them look like they are famous or something? Of course, it was the latter. These fat hags hired some guys to walk in front of and behind them snapping their pictures. Completely disgusted by this parade of narcissim and self love, I turned down the radio, which was playing the Mr. Mig remix of my favorite new song, Break The Dawn, by Michelle Williams and screamed..."Carnie Wilson is that you?". One of the girls flipped me off as my light turned green and I zoomed off into the night.
I just have a couple of questions. 1. Why would someone unattractive do this? Actually, don't answer that, because just short of Wal-Mart portrait studios or a Glamour Shot circa 1994, there isn't anyone taking any of those girls' pictures...at least not without a deposit, a hefty fee, and waiver stating they will replace the camera should their ugly mug cause it to implode. Something like this just makes you look stupid and is just asking to get your ass spit on or have rotten fruit thrown on you when they realize the celebrity being "chased" is, not in fact THE Carnie Wilson. 2. If you are going to be taking pictures like this, why would you go and wear an outfit from the Hilary Duff Dazzle Me Collection fished out the bottom of a clearance rack at Kohl's? I mean...get your ass to Express or at the very LEAST Old Navy, because they have a couple of cute things out right now. ALSO, get your best cha cha heels on, grab the designer imposter bag of your choice, a cute skirt and go to town. If you are going to pay someone to take your picture like this, at least put some effort into it and play the part of "celebrity". 3. Why would you do something this jackassed on a Wednesday night when no one is out? Did they offer a discount for it being a non-peak night? Or were you smart enough not to do it on a night when all the world is out because that is just asking to be laughed at. 4. Why would you put the least attractive person anywhere in the front of the group when her fat ass should be where it belongs...bringing up the ass. BTW...love your ponytail...hope it wins!!! 5. What was I talking about again? Oh yes...all of this would totally make more sense if the photogs were just sitting outside a restaurant or were waiting somewhere for these people to pull up and get out of a car. Then again, it probably wouldn't make sense if these girls drove up, got out of a dented up beige Hyundai at valet. Get a brain you dumb bitches!!! This is exactly why you aren't a celebrity. You know these girls were one of two things...the ugly ducklings that never turned into swans or the popular girls who are trying to maintain some sense of significance. WHO KNOWS!?!?!?!?!?