Diddy is SO sweet

Madonna doesn't like to be looked at and Diddy doesn't like people to axe him querstions. Diddy and a small entourage showed up at GoldBar in NYC the other night and when the waitress posed the question, "How many in your party?", Diddy turned into diva bitch supreme dickhead and replied "FUCKING BITCH" as he opened the velvet rope and walked past the hostess.

What kind of damn hot mess is that? Who even does that? That fucking bitch was just doing her damn job and someone like Diddy, who ain't that cute no way, is gonna get all wrecked and cuss her out? I would have been like...Gloria, girl you better hold my earrings because I just got them at H&M and they were the last pair and I am about to get fired for punching Diddy in the face. I guess she was supposed to read his mind and do a head count before his party even reached the place. Then again, that does sound like a good way to get into a crowded restaurant. Next time I make my way to Macaroni Grill and the hostess comes at me with a clipboard to take my name and ask me how many are in my party, I am just gonna walk right past her, yell "fucking bitch", and see what happens. I will tell you what happens, I get escorted out by either management or the fuzz and I am banned from ever having their cheap delicious gallon bottle of wine ever again, and that would make me die. Mmmm...Romano's sounds good right now and I have a sinus infection. [pagesix]

Music Video of the Day

Timbaland ft One Republic - Apologize. This is one of the best songs on the Timbaland Presents Shock Value album. The entire album is fantastic and I whole heartedly recommend everyone out there go and pick it up. Even if you aren't a fan of hip hop, because most of the songs are not hip hop. There are collaborations with a ton of hot artists and a couple of unknowns. Check it out.

Missed Connection Homewrecker

Here is the kind of Missed Connection I wish to never see:

Memorial Park Afternoon Runner - m4m

You: Sexy shaved head, great legs and wear a wedding ring. I've seen you 3 times over the last couple of days at the same time and you seem like you are interested. If so help me out and give me a clue, or just ask.

Why? Why would someone post this? If only I knew who this was, that way I would recognize them when I see them in hell and ask them how that MC turned out. I guess being someone who has been cheated on, that makes me extremely against the whole adultery/cheating bastard thing. Who knows.

Music Video of the Day

Amerie - Gotta Work...cuz sometimes it's gonna be days like this...sometimes you gonna feel pain like this...

The Gospel According to Frangela

Frangela will forever be my favorite duo on VH1's Best Week Ever, and this is why...

Jesse Spano would TOTALLY approve

Clearly, AC Slater has been taking better care of himself than Zach Morris, because Mario Lopez is SMOKIN' HOT in this picture. Good hair, good skin, nice legs, great chest, very little body fat. No need to go to the salon...all just...perfect. Mario might want to put in a call to his former Saved By The Bell costar and have a day of beauty, because Mark PG needs it big time. I would really love myself if my abs looked like that. Jesse Spano might want to watch herself, because Kelly would totally slut it up to get some of that peen. I know I would. DAYUM!

The Fall Season has begun

The 2007 Fall TV Season has begun, and like last year and the year before the networks are offering some very good choices that all seem to be competing for my Neilson rating. Wednesday night used to be the worst night for TV, but the last couple of years Wednesday night has become a wealth of good programming. My recording efforts are working full time on Wednesday night with five shows between the 8:00 - 10:00 hours that are begging for me to watch them. Typically, I watch the show that is my favorite and record the others that are second tier for me. Last night, I caught one of my faves, Gossip Girl. LOVE this show. Much better than The OC. I won't even really go into it, because I will be here forever talking about it. On my record list: Bionic Woman, Private Practice, Dirty Sexy Money, and Life. Bionic Woman did not let me down one bit. I was a bit surprised that the pilot explained so much in so little time. Dirty Sexy Money is brilliant. The characters are all genius, and you know there is some crazy ass family somewhere in NYC that was the inspiration for the Darling's, because nobody can make up the stuff that was in the pilot last night. I mean...Candis Cane as the tranny hooker sidedish to a married politician? LOVE IT! I started watching Life, but I have a feeling it will soon be on the chopping block, because I will not be recording it next week. I have not seen Private Practice, but from what my mom says...not good. We shall see.

Somebody Pooted

Hell hath no fury like a woman who demands silence and gets a noisy gust of wind from between two mounds. Tomecia Cruise recently asked for a moment of silence on the set of his movie Valkyrie at an important historical site to honor the heroes of the war. Well, during that minute, someone let a fart rip. Cruise got pissed like a little girl, stormed off the set, and vowed that the responsible person would die a fate worse than that brought by Hitler during WWII...you know because he has access to outer space aliens that have ray guns and probes. No wait, Tomecia has the probe...and you know he is totally hoping the farter is a dude so he can probe him. No, I am totally kidding, but seriously a source was quoted as saying:

"Quite rightly, Tom is furious. We were filming at the Bendler Block in Germany where the anti-Nazis were executed."

Now, he is going to go through tapes of the crowd to see if he can tell who did it, so they can be fired, because nobody is going to fess up. Really...how is he going to tell exactly where the fart came from...was it so powerful that it lifted them up five feet off the ground, or are they going to look for all the people giggling after it happened, and really...sometimes people just can't control that kind of stuff. Besides, farts are HILARIOUS. And I don't mean any disrespect, but I am sure the nazi's and anti-nazi's all passed gas at some point or another, I know I just did. [stuff]

Kelly Kapowski would NOT Approve

I swear today is gonna be the day for fug, because I would have never thought this was Mark-Paul Gosselaar had there not been a caption that said it was him. What had happened to her? Remember when he was perfectly coifed as the Hotty McHotterson Zach Morris on Saved By the Bell? Kelly would totally dump Zach Morris if he looked like this. Either times are tough and he has gone off the grid and become homeless or pretty doesn't always transfer with age. Not even Mr. Belding looks that beat. He needs to get a few of those oil blotting sheets and attach them to his forehead because he has enough grease on his face to fry a day's worth of fries at McDonald's, and they would totally take him up on the offer for his face oil, because I doubt it has any of those pesky trans fats in it. People that have inconsistent beards should not have them. It looks like he got the mange from a kitty. Who am I kidding, I would still hit it...you know...after I got him a hot shower, a shave, a haircut, brow wax, spray tan, a year's supply of Proactiv, some blonde highlights, and maybe a couple of name brand antibiotics to clear up the redness. Bring back the Zach.[photo: INO]

That is about 8 clicks past beer gut...

Thumbs up! Congrats, you are going to have a litter of 12 babies, and they are all going to have FAS because you drink too much. Is this not one of the most disgusting things you have ever seen in your life. Give him a few beers and my friend Jason would be all over this one.How does something like this even happen? I wonder how long it has been since he has seen his Wee Willy Winky?

How is she even famous?

Kirsten Dunst is a true vision. Her hotness only mimicked by the sun itself. I mean...her feet are overflowing out the side of those hideous busted up flats that are making her toes moan in agony. Her Kentucky Fried Hair (extra greasy) looks quite delish after running a pine cone through it...I always wonder how she keeps it looking so soft and manageable. Sadly her oversized RayBans aren't quite big enough to cover her snaggle tooth mouth. Can I also suggest that she not wear a Glad trashbag with that pale white porcelain skin. All it does is accentuate the two fried eggs she calls breasts...and not in a good way. And what is that purse? Is that from the Wal-Mart Kathie Lee Collection circa 1993? I think it might be. This girl is just an unattractive mess and I cannot for the life of me figure out why she is a star, because her acting skills are about as cute as that ensemble she is sporting. The only thing that I have been able to sit and watch her in is Bring It On, and even that was not great. Oh, and the Spider Man movies, but who didn't see those? At least she is doing her part to save the environment and drives a Prius.

Why Can't Trump Zip the Lips?

Is there anyone out there that doesn't have a problem with Donald Trump or vice versa? It seems he ALWAYS has to open up old wounds with the same damn people. Now that Rosie has become less relevant to him, he is going back after Mark Cuban...presumably because Mark Cuban is back on television with Dancing with the Stars, and Trump's Apprentice came very very close to not being renewed...and why would it? Does anyone watch that show anymore? And you would think that someone with Trump's money would have access to someone that could write him some better insults. Everyone is a "loser". Always with "loser". Calling Trump a first class idiot is pretty okay, but I would have lost the first class part, because that would have totally pissed off Trump. I would give him some hot tips on here about some good insults, but I don't work for free. Anyway, comparing the two, Mark Cuban is a much hotter piece of ass. Hopefully he will lose some of that baby weight he has during his dancing days on ABC. Why am I talking about this? Does anyone even care about this? I can't even think of anything witty or original to say about it. DAMNIT! [pagesix]

Do a Little Dance for GMHC

Speaking of Chad White, here we have him doing a little jig for the Gay Men's Health Crisis. He is quite dashing...don't you think?

Still Hot EVEN if They weren't Famous

Celebrity is a funny thing. It can take an average and/or below average looking person and make the world want them. I would say that most of them (90%) would not make me take a second look if I were to walk past them on an empty street sidewalk. HOWEVER, there is a select group of SUPER hot guys that would make me instantly cream my panties if I were to see them walk past me and even slightly glance my way. Here is my list of 10 guys that would be hot no matter if they were regular Joe's or famous or slightly famous or whatever. Top 10 "Not that hot" guys coming soon. These run in no particular order:

Eric Winter - Most people will know Mr. Winter from playing Eric Brady on Days of Our Lives. He has since moved on from that wretched soap and transitioned into primetime. Sadly, it has taken him too long. His most recent stint was playing Senator McAllister's gay brother Jason on the hit show that I LOVE LOVE LOVE, Brothers & Sisters. He also played the "hot stranger" in Britney Spears' commercial for her perfume.

Milo Ventimiglia - We all know Milo from Heroes, and we all think he is hot. If you saw Monday night's Heroes, then you saw hime all chained up and half naked and you know it was HOT. Milo was recently featured in Men's Fitness (I think) magazine talking about Heroes and his new workout routine to get buff. Seems to be working. Milo kind of reminds me of an ex boyfriend of mine. Swoon.
Marco Dapper - This boy is SSSSSmoking HOT! Some of you may recognize him and some of you may not. He had a role in Eating Out 2, last summer's sequel to Eating Out, where he played gay...I think. I haven't seen the movie, but I haven't really had the opportunity to see it yet. I probably should, because he goes all kinds of full frontal in the pic. You can check out more of him on his Myspace page. Totally worth it. He is SO damn cute. And actually, he is the kind of guy that pisses me off because no matter what he wears or how he looks, it is always going to be hot.
Ryan Reynolds - I really don't think much needs to be said about Ryan Reynolds, because WE ALL saw him and his ripped body in Blade: Trinity. Wasn't Parker Posey hot in that movie too? She played one hot bitch.
Shemar Moore - I was always very disappointed when I would miss Shemar Moore's naked torso when he played Malcolm Winters on The Young and the Restless, but I was not disappointed to miss his acting skills on that particular show either. I don't know what it is about soaps that make some actors seem SO damn cheesey. Luckily, Shemar has scored an acting role on the CBS series Criminal Minds. Sadly, he only wears tight t-shirts (which is fine) instead of going all buff. You may also recall the Enquirer story that circulated this past summer about him frolicking on a nude gay beach in Hawaii with a couple of his "girlfriends".
Matthew McConaughey - I guess we will know when Summer is over when Matty here has to put his shirt back on.
Josh Duhamel - If only he would dump that fugalicious meth faced woman of his, Fergie. Josh Duhamel, is cute, but I admit that he is more towards the bottom of my list and he would just get a quick turnaround from me, instead of a full on stare that Marco Dapper would get. I really got nothing more to say about this one. Win a Date With Tad Hamilton was funny though, and he did look quite good in Transformers.

Thomas Roberts - The former CNN anchor who always made the news look a little more dreamy. I really have no idea what he is doing now, but I have heard that he is now a correspondent for The Insider (which I loathe as much as Mary Hart and Entertainment Tonight). I haven't seen him on The Insider, but I also don't watch it either.

Rusty Joiner - He isn't so much a celebrity, but I think everyone has seen him on at least one Fitness magazine at some point or another. I actually saw him in LA last year at The Abbey and he is just as good looking in person as he is in print. The only thing different is that he is short.

Chad White - Super male model extraordinaire. This super hot boy has been strutting down the runways of the hottest men's designers, and has been featured in a gazillion magazine spreads. He is SO cute and his body is ROCKING. Check out more of him at his Myspace page.

And there you have it. Ten of the hottest guys that I think would be hot no matter if they were on TV, in movies, or walking down a runway. Enjoy! Stay tuned for the 10 guys that I believe would not get a second look if they didn't have celebrity to back them up.

Top of the Morning to You

I am not quite sure what is going on with his hair, but his body is ROCKIN'!

Renee Zellweger is a nice lady

I take back every bad thing I have ever said about Renee Zellweger. Of course, those "bad things" only consist of nodding my head when someone called her a puffy coke whore and defensively saying she "probably has an eating disorder" and laughing at every SNL and MadTV skit about her. This week Renee got all kinds of generous according to Page Six:

RENÉE Zellweger has a big heart. Wendy Faracino, a Bobbi Brown makeup artist at Saks Fifth Avenue in Southampton, was on her break and looking at a pair of Manolo Blahniks when Zellweger strolled up and the two began talking about shoes. Barely 15 minutes after she went back to work, Faracino was approached by the shoe department's manager with a gift-wrapped box. "These are compliments of Renée Zellweger. She wanted you to have them," he said. Inside were the Manolos she'd been admiring.

How incredibly generous. Maybe I need to start hanging out in the shoe department of my favorite Saks at the Galleria Houston (HA, like I don't do that already...actually you will find me in the green Prada room in the handbag department) to see if I can get me some fancy shoes. I would totally return them for the cash and get some scarves and hats instead. But on the real...Renee must have done something bad and bought those shoes to fix her karma. Nonetheless...good for her. [pagesix]

Music Video of the Day

Melanie C - This Time

Let the Weekend Begin...

Music Video of the Day

Common ft. Lily Allen - Drivin' Me Wild

Is Common kind of hot, or is it just me?

What in GAY hell?!?!?!?!?

These pictures have surfaced of boxer Oscar De La Hoya dressed in some sort of drag outfit, and at the time I didn't think much of them...mostly because I was in an anger induced haze brought on by the hideous field support that Dell Tech Support dispatched to my office yesterday. I swear he was gross, I thought he was going to leave his entire top layer of epidermis behind as a parting gift, he sounded like a hard lived Norm McDonald of SNL fame (and it could have been him), he had these nasty leasions on his face and neck that were either from skin cancer or flesh eating bacteria, and his left arm was full of some kind of fluid (and I could only guess it was embalming fluid) and looked very swollen. I won't even get into the fact that he was wearing ill-fitted double pleated khakis and the hearing aide he had to take out of his ear to hear me. At one point we had to download a driver from the internet, and our internet connection has been very iffy lately so it was taking a while to download and he tells me that he is "gonna go hang out at the gas station down the street for a bit". Um...what? Hang out at the gas station? Who does that? He eventually came back, but I digress. Back to Oscar. What in the gay hell is going on with this? Now, I don't even really know if this is him, but there was a blip about it in today's NY Post. Some say it is a hoax some say it is real.

Apparently, the shots were sold to X17 by a former Scores stripper who claimed she participated in a little role playing with the boxer who she says liked to be referred to as "Goldie". Goldie? Goldie? Really? What the hell kind of "drag" name is that? I don't even know what to say and/or think about all of this. I don't follow boxing...mostly because I don't really care about it, but I have always thought Oscar was cute, and something about him sporting a fishnet ensemble and heels kind of makes me get all worked up. NYDN said she was also quoted as saying: She took the photos at the Ritz-Carlton in Philadelphia on May 17."
"He wore size 9 ladies shoes. He also liked wearing thigh-high nylons. He liked sex games. He and the girl would sit in a chair that they'd pretend was a motorcycle. He'd pretend he was the girl on the back of motorcycle. She'd be the guy. He'd grab her around the waist and squeal, 'Faster! Faster!'" This is all very hilarious. It just keeps getting better and better. These celebrities are SO stupid. They will never figure out that taking photos in compromising drag, naked, drug sniffing, sexual, or criminal situations is NEVER EVER a good idea. It may seem all cutesy and funny at first, but GURL, watch yourself because it will come back and bite you in the ass pronto.
photos:[x17online]

Since I've Been Gone

Hey kids, no posts lately because my internet connection at work (where I do a bit of blogging) has been very dead since our ISP switched from fiber lines to satelite, and our internet connection will never be the same, and when I get home, I am not really interested in staring at a computer because I think that has been the cause of these stupid pressure headaches I have been getting the last couple of weeks. I also haven't had the desire to be funny or bitchy or witty or anything else that requires me to think.

What in gay hell?

I have never seen such a display in my life. My mother has though...you know that one time I had a meltdown in Wal-Mart because I wanted Soundwave the Transformer and they only had two left. Of course I was like 8, not a full grown person.

...and after that I will not make fun of Britney ever again, because I don't want to deal with her.

OMG...where do I begin?

Britney has brought so much shame back on to America's white trailer trash population (half of them living in my home county).



The outfit, the lipsynching, the missing Lee Press On, the stumbling...so many places to start. What in GOD's name has happened to this bitch? She has gone batshit crazy and just doesn't even care. Clearly homegirl is on something and it ain't even right, and somehow she thinks she still has the body she had when she rolled out with that albino python wrapped around her neck, only this time coming out from behind the curtain dressed in rhinestoned panties and bra. Where is the python now, because I would like it to unhinge its jaw and swallow her whole...they do that don't they? One of my favorite parts is in the beginning when she turns around and realizes, NO, this isn't a dream sequence and you see that look of shock on her face and you know she is thinking..."BRITNEY WAKE UP, because oh holy shit, this isn't going to go down very good is it?" Also...what is with the wobbling, and the walking around and the blank stare in the beginning? And the lip-synching...she couldn't even be bothered to do that right, and actually, I didn't even know she had a mic on her face until half way through the song when she moved back that tired weave. She is totally wrecked, but her album will probably be a hit because...well...it is Britney, and people are hollering for her, at least they were. Worst part about it is that I don't quite think it matters...as her eyes tell us that she is dead inside.

Baby Wee Wee?

Here is a little doll from the UK that is sure to get the Dateline: To Catch A Predator Pedophiles all hot and bothered. I find it extremely disturbing that it even exists...and look...he still has his foreskin. WTF?!?!?

So...Stewie might be gay huh?

I'm SO Blind

Actually, this blind item isn't so hard to figure out...and away we go:

Which actor with a troubled brother might want to deal with some issues of his own? He is constantly drunk on the set of his current film, say spies.

Um...I say Luke Wilson.

[nydailynews]

Hello Kitty = Happily Ever After

To me...nothing says spending a lifetime together quite like a Hello Kitty themed wedding. I don't know if this was meant to be a joke or it was real, but WTF?

What is with these people and their crazy ass themed weddings, and why are they riding on rickshaws through an airport? Did Hello Kitty only have time to stand in for photo ops on a layover to Beijing while on a world tour? These people kill me...kill me dead.
[bwe]

Vanessa Hudgens

Is it wrong that I have a new obsession with these High School Musical kids...more specifically Vanessa Hudgens? I mean...I am a 29 year old gay man and for some reason I am loving these Disney manufactured talents. Here is Mizz Hudgens, in a remixed video for "Say OK".

We just want a happy meal...sir

I lost my shit when I saw this video. BTW, love the pearls.